Coming off oxycodone and small H habit

[Dogma123]

I've been a long time lurker here but never have posted .. I think I created my account a few years ago. We'll I've used drugs for about 5 years and have only had a few addictions but now it's just too bad for my own good.

If anyone would like to hear about the early years I would tell but Its long.The real problem started about a month and a half ago . I got a really good deal on 2 full bottles of oxycodone . So that's 200 pills . Of course Oxy is my DOC and I've always had control over my use expect a few 1 week binges but I started taking them everyday.

My tolerance is moderate because of a long Kratom habit but that's no to quit. Anyways I was up to 60-70mg a day only a few days in .. Then I made the bad mistake of trying Heroin. Fast forward 6 weeks and $800, about 2 gs of H and 400 Oxys and here I am. I Just got 2 more bottles last week and I have 90 left.. I just need to vent I guess. Sorry for the long story.

 

[nygiants1313]

so your habit is not even more then 2 months???

if so easy answer is throw out your stash, go cold turkey and get on with life and never look back

stay away from subs and methadone and kick this shyt now while its only a 2 month habit instead of a nice 5 year habit. you will end up down the rabbit hole 50X worse then you are if it doesn't end. been there done that.

 

[Dogma123]

Yea it's not that long of a habit I know. I couldn't imagine some of you guys who have been battling for more than a few years but I wish you the best also. I haven't taken my usual 70 mg in about 48 hours I think.

I took just one oxycodone before work yesterday morning just so I wouldn't feel like shit. Do you think it'll be that bad? I would imagine not because I have gabapentin Kratom. I also haven't smoked weed either but was a everyday smoker.I think I just got it in my head it will be the worst thing ever from reading a bunch of horror stories on here.my sympathy defiantly goes out to you guys who have struggled for years. I've struggled for about 2 years but not with just one substance it's been a few..

This is the only time I've binged more than a week, I just knew I had a problem when I took over 100 pills in about 6 days or a week. That was last week but I'm considering going into the navy so I can travel and get away from all these drugs. Anyone think that is a good idea?

 

[Cliffy78]

4-5 days of hell and your done. The first kick is the easiest so it's doable. Sell ur oxy and call it a day if that's what u feel bro. The kratom will only prolong your wd so I wouldn't bother with that. The GABA is good to have. Good luck!!!

 

[Dogma123]

Thanks man it's not too bad but I have work 10-10:30 today):

So I took about 600mg of GABApentin and I feel fine I suppose. I did take a small dose of Kratom but I'm off for the next 4 days so I'm going to do a quick taper on the Kratom . I have no money to buy more anyways. Thanks a lot for the Support. I was able to eat a small breakfast so I think I'll be fine.

 

[Cliffy78]

No prob. Just fight the urge brother. It sucks u gotta work today while going through this shit. I've quit jobs for less lol. U seem to have it under control. Take care dogma!

 

[Dogma123]

I did almost quit my job the other day lol. I do my usually 60 mg I think before work but that day instead of making work really easy it made me so god damn mad for some reason and I almost just walked out. I'm a bus boy and I'm the only American working so it's stressful lol. I do have legitimate pain problems tho so that's why I've been taking Kratom. I have 6 bulging disks . It's not too bad but sucks when I have to work.

Even tho I could probably could have done without it, the addict in me convinces my mind it's for pain and it's ok. I'm just ready to get off all this shit and start my life.

I'm still really young so I'm about to start my life and I'm thinking the navy . I think I can get through basic with my back problems without telling them. What's your opinion on joining ? I'm 18 with no real options and my reward system is fucked from drugs so I think a 4 year break would do a lot of good. Thanks everybody. We are defiantly all in this together!!

Another question.. It's dumb I know but what would cocaine be like during this? I'm being offered it for free tonight so I was gonna drink and do that. I know bad idea but I rarely do those things.

 

[Cliffy78]

I'm not the dude to ask about coke, I despise that drug. Seen it ruin many a good person including my mother. But hey that's on u man.
As far as the navy dude I think that's an awesome idea givin your prospects. I went in drunk to the army recruiters office when I was 23 and destroyed their tests while absolutely cocked off my ass. Lol. The dude said he was gonna come by my house the next day, I waited but he never showed up or went to Berkshire ave. instead of st., I wish I would've followed up now though, my life would be totally different. That was in August of 01 , then 9/11 happened so I guess it was all for the best cause I was ready to die back then. But anyways sry bout the ramble, I think joining the service is a great idea bro. You should definitely jump on it while u can, having regrets is a terrible thing bro. I'm 37 now and in pretty much the same place in life that I was way back then. Make it happen for yourself man cause ain't no one gonna come by and offer an opportunity, it just don't seem to work like that for dudes like us man. Good luck from the bottom of my heart man.

 

[Dogma123]

Thanks a lot man. It means a lot cause I can't really talk about this to anyone in my life cause no one really knows what I do. I'm not gonna do the coke now , that was a dumb thought. I just moved yesterday to live with my grandma cause I didn't have anywhere to go cause my home situation was rough. She will keep me on the right track because she Always knows when I'm high and it makes me feel so guilty.

I went to the recruiter last week and did the practice test and did fairly good on it . He wants me to take the real test next week but I just don't wanna rush and go to MEPS and fail a piss test lol.

 

[Cliffy78]

I know the feeling man, I'm a loner so there's not many people talk with.
You got a goal and that's a big thing, dreams and such take a backseat to reality as you age so jump on it while you have the chance and are still healthy. Circumstances can change over night so u gotta be proactive in making what u want to happen actually happen, took me a long time to stop waiting around for something good to happen, now I feel it's all behind me and u don't want that feeling bro. Nothing worse than wasted talent. Stay positive, kiss grams and live a life you can take pride in brother, u got this...

 

[Dogma123]

Yea I'm a loner too. I guess that's why opiates always appealed to me. I can be alone but if I'm high I don't care. I get to go on break in 2 hours so I'll call my recruiter then and see what I can work out.

 

[Cliffy78]

Fuck it man do it!

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

I'm moving this to other drugs.

 

[Dogma123]

Thank you!

 

[Dogma123]

Does any one have any experience on how they were doing drugs for many years then going into the service (military) and how good that those years clean in service were?

Any answers about any branch of military would be greatly appreciated.

Even if you weren't on drugs before and you went did you have a good time and having fun ?

Thank you all for being such helpful and postive people.

 

[Dogma123]

Well it's 3:19 AM and I'm siting here wide awake playing destiny and I just took 7 Oxys . I fucked up bad yesterday because I found one codeine pill and thought why not take it. It was just one.

Well anyways I wanted to get the most out of it so I mixed in a soma or two and a few ativan and then my fucked up state of mind thought that taking just one Oxy to really get feeling it would be fine...

We'll that turned into me taking a lot of them that night and in the past 24 hours I've probably taken around 18 or 20 . I only have 30 left after giving 25 to someone else but I just had 90 so idk how much I really took cause I've been mixing it with like 3 somas and 2 2mg ativans at a time. I'm really dumb I know ... I wasn't even craving that bad I just was stupid. Sorry guys

 

[Cliffy78]

Dude don't apologize, you slipped man shit happens. Don't beat yourself up over it. No ones gonna think any less of u bro, most of us here have no desire to quit so your way ahead of us in that matter. So what bro u took some pills? Your still alive right? Fuck it dude. Just pick yourself up and start again if you want man . No harm no foul. Idk wtf destiny is but I bet it's way more fun playing it when u got a nice buzz going, lol. I'm not trying to make light or nothing, I just want u to see that it's not that big a deal. I know ur dissappointed with yourself but it happens to even the strongest individuals. Time to get back on the horse and try again if that's what u want to do, either way I certainly won't think any less of you brother. Shoot us a post and let us know what ur plans are from here, if u want that is. Ttyl man, take it easy on yourself!

 

[Dogma123]

We'll I'm def not going to take the rest. For now at least, I want to have one little 2 day binge in about a month or two before I join the navy just so I can enjoy my freedom before I'm sober for 4 years.

The feelings not even the same anymore. Half the time it makes me feel great then the other half it just makes me a irritable asshole that no one should have to be around. So I'm done after this. I hope.

Thanks again you guys and especially cliff who keeps checking up on me. This is the best forum

 

[Cliffy78]

We'll I'm def not going to take the rest. For now at least, I want to have one little 2 day binge in about a month or two before I join the navy just so I can enjoy my freedom before I'm sober for 4 years.

The feelings not even the same anymore. Half the time it makes me feel great then the other half it just makes me a irritable asshole that no one should have to be around. So I'm done after this. I hope.

Thanks again you guys and especially cliff who keeps checking up on me. This is the best forum

Np bro. We all need a little relief from this world once inawhile so do what u gotta do man. Keep your eyes on the prize though brother. The navy sounds like a power move for you so don't lose sight of your goals. Hey if u wanna catch a few buzzes a month that's cool dude just be careful to not get caught up in the shit, it happens so fast that u can't even see it coming. Did u ever call the recruiter guy again? Well keep us in the loop with updated and stuff man, were all here for you. Ttyl dogma!

 

[Bropiace]

I've read your thread and I want to emphasize what Cliffy told you.

You did't fuck up. You just slipped. It shows how opiate are pernicious and how the mind looks for any kind of reasons to do more, it doesnt even have to makes sens to be convincing.

I have been struggling with my habits for months and months, I never just gave up and said fuck it and just binged in all that time, however I cannot even calculate the number of time I took more than intended.

Don't beat your self up. Don't use this as an excuse either. Keep your eye on the prize and you will be fine. Here is a little story :

When I started opiate, even tho I was well aware how addictive they can become, I hide myself in the belief that if I don't take more than two days in a row and I can skip one day after that there won't be a problem. Boy did I abused during those two days. Then I woke up one morning and felt mild withdrawal. And at that point I said fuck it. I was caugh up in lots of shit, I didnt want to deal with withdrawal and went on using everyday with no regards toward my ever increasing tolerance for 6 months.

Since then (almost a year now) I've been tapering. I am back at my earliest dose and quite proud of it. Not the point I want to make tho. The point is during my tapering months I went willingly to withdrawal a few times to help lower my tolerance and all of them were at least 10 times harder than what I tried to avoid when I started using daily. So my point is, what you are going through is hard but mostly psychologically and a bit physically. But unless you get your shit together now (which seems like you do so congrats) it will get a lot worse.

It is great that you have a goal. Everyone I met that went in the military loved there experience. It forged them, they made crazy shit, tons of good memories, I think you are doing exactly what you should. Best of luck and keep us informed of your progress and plan. A success story is always appreciate around here.

And if you slip again don't be shy. We all did many times over and that's the name of the game. You will find only support.

Good luck again and congratulation in coming to your sens so early in your downward spiral. Some of us, me first, realized too little too late (or in my case didn't care when I should have) that something needed to be done. So you can take pride in knowing that and you should.