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Coming off Invega/Xeplion (paliperidone) injections v11

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Invegatorture said:
It's crazy what it does to you and no one could ever understand what it's like to live like this 24/7 if they have never been through it.

I'm coping okay but that's only because I have seen myself heal from these drugs before. Otherwise I would 100% have suicidal thoughts.
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That’s me right now. I’m struggling.
 
lukeflowz said:
That’s me right now. I’m struggling.
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I wish I could say something other than recovery is possible to lift you out of suicidality but there isn't really anything that can. I know because I was there two years ago.

From my experience when you heal life tastes so fucking sweet. It felt impossible to heal at the time but some how I made it out.

Fuck man this is so fucked. I am sorry this happened to you and everyone else here.
 
lukeflowz said:
That’s me right now. I’m struggling.
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How long have you been experiencing anhedonia? It's around 10 months for me. The feelings of happiness and dopamine feel like something from a past life for me right now. Seems so long ago. Time slows down.

When I heal I know I will feel reborn.
 
Invegatorture said:
How long have you been experiencing anhedonia? It's around 10 months for me. The feelings of happiness and dopamine feel like something from a past life for me right now. Seems so long ago. Time slows down.

When I heal I know I will feel reborn.
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8 months I have likewise with akathisia.
Im just over two months in this recovery journey, but I haven’t noticed anything other than placebo effects. I have to hold on somehow, but it’s difficult. It’s not like I can use escapism because I can’t enjoy anything- so as a result I’m forced to sit with this. I hope I can just get some relief at least soon.

You didn’t get any relief for at least 6 months in your previous recovery didnt you? How did you spend your time until then ?
 
Invegatorture said:
It's crazy what it does to you and no one could ever understand what it's like to live like this 24/7 if they have never been through it.

I'm coping okay but that's only because I have seen myself heal from these drugs before. Otherwise I would 100% have suicidal thoughts.
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Bro, I genuinely feel like I've lost my soul like a complete empty shell. I hate who Ive become on this injection.
 
lukeflowz said:
8 months I have likewise with akathisia.
Im just over two months in this recovery journey, but I haven’t noticed anything other than placebo effects. I have to hold on somehow, but it’s difficult. It’s not like I can use escapism because I can’t enjoy anything- so as a result I’m forced to sit with this. I hope I can just get some relief at least soon.

You didn’t get any relief for at least 6 months in your previous recovery didnt you? How did you spend your time until then ?
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Yep. No relief for 6 months. Constant suicidality until a large dose of LSD brought me out of it and into hope. Got very lucky there.

I used to spend all day on discord calls with other people with anhedonia, played mobile games with them and complained all day with them. There used to be on average 5 of us in a call so I had other people to share my suffering with.

Worst 6 months of my life. Complete darkness. No enjoyment in anything, just superficial distraction.
 
InvegaInferno said:
Bro, I genuinely feel like I've lost my soul like a complete empty shell. I hate who Ive become on this injection.
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That happened to me. Once I recovered it all came back, there was a process of rebuilding myself back up. Confidence, self esteem, social skills etc. Also learning to no longer identify myself as an invega victim.
 
When I was dealing with invega I got addicted to watching some fucked up shit. I used to watch suicide videos as I planned to myself. Also watched torture/gore to make myself feel better about my situation. Sooooooo fucked and dark was my time after being injected with invega, the purest form of suffering I have ever experienced. Physically, mentally, and spiritually. I honestly felt abandoned and betrayed by God.

When I healed and came back stronger, I felt blessed by God. Hoping for the same outcome this time round. It's all I think about and imagine.
 
Invegatorture said:
I plan to go crazy on the grind as it's a new cod, but honestly it will depend if its a good game or not. Btw we will swap who hosts so we can both play on our own servers.

Have you considered investing in a ps5? The game will be much more enjoyable for you on that.
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Have you had nine injections of Abilify Maintena?

Did you experience any side effects?

Did you notice any obsessive thoughts, or a decline in creativity or imagination?

If not, I'm considering having Abilify Maintena on a continuous basis myself.

What specific benefits did you find?
 
Invegatorture said:
That happened to me. Once I recovered it all came back, there was a process of rebuilding myself back up. Confidence, self esteem, social skills etc. Also learning to no longer identify myself as an invega victim.
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That process of rebuilding yourself, did that happen during month 6 for you till 9 when you've realized you've recovered ?
Feeling abandoned that's how I feel right now even though I shouldn't think like that. Where did you find suicide videos.
 
Invegatorture said:
I have all the same effects that invega gave me mostly. Ahendonia, sexual numbness, restlessness, akathisia, lethargy, no appetite, no tiredness, broken sleep, weird state of consciousness, brain feels inflamed. It's hard to enjoy anything like this.

Yes I do enjoy music a little, but thats due to mindset i'd say.
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My side effects due to Abilify injections.

@nom.
 
nom. said:
Have you had nine injections of Abilify Maintena?

Did you experience any side effects?

Did you notice any obsessive thoughts, or a decline in creativity or imagination?

If not, I'm considering having Abilify Maintena on a continuous basis myself.

What specific benefits did you find?
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Yes 9 injections of Abilify. I have obsessive thoughts, I ruminate a lot on the past due to this drug. Also have experienced a decline in creativity and imagination.

For me Abilify has been horrible, it's ruined my life for now until I recover from the side effects.

The only benefit is it helped me get out of psychosis. But it only worked this way because it makes me feel so shit.
 
InvegaInferno said:
That process of rebuilding yourself, did that happen during month 6 for you till 9 when you've realized you've recovered ?
Feeling abandoned that's how I feel right now even though I shouldn't think like that. Where did you find suicide videos.
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The process of rebuilding myself in those aspects was month 7-9 I'd say. I was fully back to myself and stronger at month 9. I include this in my recovery story. It wasnt just side effects that needed to recover, it was also my sense of self.

I understand the feelings of being abandoned. It's terrible.

I found suicide videos on a website you can search for on Google. Not gonna share what it was specifically. Those vids poison your mind and soul.
 
Invegatorture said:
The process of rebuilding myself in those aspects was month 7-9 I'd say. I was fully back to myself and stronger at month 9. I include this in my recovery story. It wasnt just side effects that needed to recover, it was also my sense of self.

I understand the feelings of being abandoned. It's terrible.

I found suicide videos on a website you can search for on Google. Not gonna share what it was specifically. Those vids poison your mind and soul.
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What sort of improvements did you see on month 6?
 
InvegaInferno said:
What sort of improvements did you see on month 6?
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Nothing major. Just felt generally lighter, less lobotomised and my eye contact started to get better.

It's hard to remember the exact timeline, but things like anhedonia, restlessness, emotions and sexual function I think improved significantly at month 8.

I don't think I would have recovered by month 9 if I had more shots. I only had two. 150mg and 75mg.
 
Invegatorture said:
Yes 9 injections of Abilify. I have obsessive thoughts, I ruminate a lot on the past due to this drug. Also have experienced a decline in creativity and imagination.

For me Abilify has been horrible, it's ruined my life for now until I recover from the side effects.

The only benefit is it helped me get out of psychosis. But it only worked this way because it makes me feel so shit.
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Ruminating about the past and decline in creativity/ imagination is what im feeling with invega. Are you sure these are not remnants of invega?
 
I used to be very giggly and had a unique sense of humor and personality… it’s gone now
 
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