Mental Health Coming Off Invega Sustenna (Paliperidone) v4

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im french so my english is not so good ill try my best. let me give you the context of this story of my young life
 
in April 2020, the world came to a halt because of COVID. At first it was rather funny, we saw on Twitter videos of wild animals arriving in town. As if the Animal Resistance was reconquering its legitimate territory.
So we were confined, being locked in an apartment in Paris was not easy, we didn't know if we were going to be able to go on vacation ... it was fucking stressful. In addition a girl friendzone me when I really loved her. In short, all of this led me to have a psychosis. I had premonitions, I thought that I would be locked in the "gulags" because I was a political dissident.
I will pass you all the details of my delirium. So I was hospitalized, it was very violent for me. What will mark me forever is this brutality of the doctors. Two cops and a fire crew were behind the door to the psychiatrist's office in case I tried to run away. I felt like a criminal. My condition was certainly unstable, but it was anything but reassuring. I was therefore directly explained that if I refused to drink their small mixture (loxapac), I would be tied up and stung. Then i was transfered and i slept for two days. I had dyskinesia and the doctors would tell me to stop fooling around. I couldnt even speak properly because of this shitty medecine. After that they gave me risperdal, this was also really strong and my vision blurred for 3 days. The doc (The first of a long series) decided to give me Invega. "This is a new medecine with very few secondary effect" he said. But i understood very quickly that this unqualified men didnt know what he was doing to a 18 year old boy.
 
the first week was not fun of course but i was convinced that tis will be temporary and ill be back on track at the end of the month. Naive i was. I was doing a scholarship and to validate my semester i had to do an internship. I was the supervisor of a wine shop in Paris. I had to do everything on my own (restock, transactions, cleaning the shop, be nice and advice the customer). Every fucking day i wanted to kill my self. Alcool was terrible, let me describe it: tinnitus, the impression of not knowing how to speak, mental pain.
I was most of my day looking for answers on the internet (french forums...); i read pages of medical thesis on paliperidone. I called many people all over the world, I ve seen a chinese doctor who made me coction, i ve seen a tibetan monk, an energizer, a psychotherapist... I was miserable and you can see my posts back in the day (i was hopeless) but eventhough i complained a lot, even to my family, i still fight and wanted revenge. Only my mom trusted me, my dad even at the start thought i was still mentally heal. The summer was hard but winter was a journey. I had no progress or anything until i decided that i need to restart the machine. I called a fantastic person who had the shot in 2013, one of the first, a veteran. She was very pretty and "normal". Yes normal because there is a lot of weirdo on this forum and generally when youre talking to people mentally sick. She gave me hope like nobody else did. So i began running 4 times a week, i still smoked a lot of cigarettes.
 
yes so much that i had another psychosys at the 11 month but i didnt mind i was so happy at the hopital lol i knew nothing could get me anymore. i refused the shot there
Did you dopamine come back enough to get headrushes from cigarettes and have fast reaction times and everything ?
 
After being injected with 8 different antipsychotics, the last one was nearly 4 months ago, I've realised that a feeling of the spirit is all in the brain and comes from dopamine and serotonin and whatever other receptors antipsychotics block. I've been dead for over a year and a half now , I hope I recover back to my previous self after 7 months but it's hard. I always believed that there was an afterlife and family members who have passed away as well as pets spirits moved on to another dimension and this gave me peace, but now since Psychiatry can cause a living death with antipsychotics it's hard for me to believe we have a spirit that transcends the brain. This causes me sadness as well as the constant daily misery I endure due to antipsychotic injections, I didn't have invega but they are all the same misery causing, dopamine and serotonin blocking drugs with different degrees in misery. I apologise for my depressing post, I do have hope I'll recover after 7 months to a year, as I've read of people recovering from 7 invega injections and another person had 11 injections. It's just a very hard experience.
 
What does that mean?
Cerebral high is a creative, energetic type of high, found in sativa strains. Most Newby smoker can get that effect or people who barely smoke. Most veteran smokers stay away from sativas because they just dont pack a punch after a while, even with a tolerance break.
 
Cerebral high is a creative, energetic type of high, found in sativa strains. Most Newby smoker can get that effect or people who barely smoke. Most veteran smokers stay away from sativas because they just dont pack a punch after a while, even with a tolerance break.
Veteran smokers smoke hybrids or dab.
 
Veteran smokers smoke hybrids or dab.
I disagree, indica dominate hybrids, or straight Indiacas, dabs or hash have the same feeling of a indica buzz, people in the states and Canada stick to indoor grow indicas. Even live rosin is similar to a indica high, but over in Europe I've seen mostly people smoking like star dawg, hazes, pineapple express, things of that nature in the sativa category. Sativas are just a joke in the states, even in canada.
 
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I disagree, indica dominate hybrids, or straight Indiacas, dabs or hash have the same feeling of a indica buzz, people in the states and Canada stick to indoor grow indicas. Even live rosin is similar to a indica high, but over in Europe I've seen mostly people smoking like star dawg, hazes, pineapple express, things of that nature in the sativa category. Sativas are just a joke in the states, even in canada.
Id rather smoke jack herer over bubba kush. So the sativa market is non existent and marijuana enthusiasts laugh at bags of marijauna they dont like. Sounds like console wars the 420 edition
 
Id rather smoke jack herer over bubba kush. So the sativa market is non existent and marijuana enthusiasts laugh at bags of marijauna they dont like. Sounds like console wars the 420 edition
Jack herer is decent, personally love bubba kush but you build a tolerance up quickly too it and it gives me bubba belly which messes me up. I like any thing platinum, or any of the Chen’s, I personally stay away from the hazes, or purple punch. Blueberry is consist and isn’t as sedating as most indicas. You should try sour jack, it’s a hybrid. Most of the newer people in the marijuana community are toxic, they think if you aren’t smoking ‘ cookie ‘ it’s boo boo. The best weed I’ve ever gotten were even named brands, they were mostly just underground growers with just better cuts of the same strains.
 
My parents would call the cops and they'd take me to a mental facility and I'd get put on court-ordered treatment. I was off it for almost a year after the first year, then on it two years, then off it almost a year and now put on Abilify, I kept fucking up and they kept on putting me on court order or extending it.
kept fucking up ? what exactly did you do ? i'm on court order as well
 
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