Please don't take this the wrong way but it sounds like maybe you are having just a few mental issues? I had the exact same experience when I had a drug induced psychosis. You could be mentally sound and your story be 100% correct but it fits psychosis to a t.
I used to see antidepressant pills in my food when I was younger. Now, some days, I
know when I get drugs because I had a old stash of unused drugs that is missing, a lot of times old psyc keep writing up prescriptions that keep getting picked up by my parents at the pharmacy, and NOT BY ME. With the shot of Invega now going away. I get the feeling of swelling in my brain. Sometimes taste of blood in my mouth, that starts from my gums. I get severely weak. I can't stay up on my feet or even stand. And I used to squat 300lbs for 8 reps at one point.
"It can't be the Invega this far away from the single shot 156mg plus 30mg total booster pills, when I didn't have it this strong 3 weeks from it as I did at 2 months mark,
could I be getting Olanzapine in my food?", and that is the thought that gets mixed with something that someone in psychosis may think of while others really don't even care I am complaining that my body is weak, all they see is that I could be paranoid for suspecting something. What gets me most though is the way I am being treated now, disabled by the drug, dumb and weak, being made fun of, having people be paranoid and scared around me, especially my
family... Most people don't even know what APs do to the mind and body, and think of it as happy pills. No one cares. My mom is convinced that I must do the drugs for 6 months or some time period because that is what a psyc told her.
So, I tried weed for the first time in my life, 2 months after Invega, and that is when I first discovered what psychosis is like. I was having a few paranoid thoughts, like overthinking how others were looking at me, or what people were planning on doing. I started to "trip" that day. However, on the day to day basis, I don't have quick rushing paranoid thoughts like that. My life has indeed been Very Very Very bizarre indeed. I can write a whole book on events in my life that could be considered mental illnesses because just of how bizarre they just are and people refusing to believe them. But everything has been far from mental illness. I was completely normal, speaking to the doctors like I am talking to you right now. I refused the meds, then I got this shot. It has completely changed me, I am losing muscle at the speed of light, the hormonal changes really bother me, I am not getting sore from workouts. I now actually have they symptoms of schizophrenia given to just after the shot, for example being depressed, unable to think, concentrate, unable to understand others, saying things without having the ability to strongly explain and clearly speak about them without straining my brain. I no longer have the same
mind I used to have before the shot, I am a completely different personality, but I'm doing my best to recover at this point. I consider myself as far from being paranoid as possible, when I did have any thought that is too paranoid, I quickly know it is a paranoid thought and forget about it. It is this barbaric practice of psychiatry that just labels anyone paranoid for anything.
, I don't want this poison. I suppose I am not the only one though, if you guys are young adults like me, and ended up in a psyc ward, chances are your family isn't good for you either. I noticed this with every other person in the psyc wards I am been in. Either they have no family, or a family that doesn't want them to come home and instead continue "treatment" in the psyc ward. 2 of my room mates had no where to go to and had to stay an addition 5 days after being cleared as voluntary because they were having placement issues.