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Mental Health Coming Off Invega Sustenna (Paliperidone) v.2

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Empty1128 said:
Did your emotions come back gradually and slowly or did they come suddenly?
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That was a gradual process. It increased from day 30 to day 100. It's difficult to give an exact answer since I had lots of bad emotions such as anger, anxiety, guilt. I cried, laughed and went through all kinds of emotions. It seems like they are pretty stable now.
 
LifeAfterInvega said:
Thanks! I have recovered my eneregy, motivation, ability to feel emotions, imagination, and creativitiy. The only thing I have yet to do is burn off about 20 lbs. that I gained from the Invega. I feel just about the same now as I did before the Invega. It's extremely close. I started feeling "less bad" around the 5 month mark and then started to "feel better" around the middle of the 6th month, and then "back to normal" at the start of the 8th month.
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Thank you. Another success story. I wish I was recovered like you.
 
yo, we can't say the we want to die thing. we get the edit and the words from the mods to go seek medical attention. try venting in a healthy way like "this poison makes me feel so bad" cause that's what it's doing. the hope receptor is temporarily shut down and we feel worse than we ever have, especially considering the long and debilitating list of negative side effects and withdrawal symptoms. and even though it does induce suicidal feelings in us one or two times it's not us who really wants to do this, the poison is tricking us into believing this. it is inducing it in us, not cause we really want to.

so be mindful of yourself and others please, it's very hard but it does get better. staying in a realistic if not trying to put it in a better frame of mind is good practice for the healing process too.

there are a few ways our bodies filter things out of us. internal organs, going #1 and #2, sweating, burning it off (like a fire eats up wood). the half life is generally saying how much is left in our system, not exactly how it gets out. biology 101 ladies and gents.

crying is another way but also kinda a two parter. we don't really feel and when we cry it's a way to relieve stress. so we cry not to be sad but to relieve stress, well, a lil for the sad part obviously. when we cry because of our emotions later on or when fully healed that is a sign in healing. until then it's a effect/symptom many have gone through (yes men, we do do that while on the poison. it sucks i know but it's the truth.)

the laying around in bed part just means your were given too much of something that is too strong and your body and brain are doing the best they can. try to do what you can on a conscious level every day and when your body and brain are done doing what they do naturally your conscious decisions will help aid the rest of the healing.

@LifeAfterInvega: you healed buddy?

@Empty1128: not weird, having emotions during sleep is normal. thinking it's weird is weird XD. good sign in healing.

to the room: not drinking caffeine after 10pm and playing a video game yesterday gave me a good sign in healing. you know when you stay up later and later playing a vid, last night i didn't. i slept around the usual time i have been lately, woke up feeling refreshed and exercised conscious control in all regards except in what to make for dinner last night (thanks symptom of my condition). i feel better today from getting sleep instead of drained from pushing myself to stay up later and play vids. i enjoy the video game again, thoughts (especially racing one in regards to electronic entertainment) are still fast but normal fast. not tweaking behavior like i've exhibited for so long and i'm able to use the fast part of my brain to excel in the game.

probably tmi but a good sign for me none the less.
 
zack365 said:
Day 127

First day I'm not going to classes. I am feeling really not motivated to do the distance for non mandatory classes that are available online.
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i know my words are kinda confusing (your welcome for the kind words btw) but they are mostly all inclusive.

reason out your quote - your back to school and that day you can't go to physical class but your doing online non mandatory.

plus look at your participation in the thread of late, regular blooming social butterfly.

what does this all point to? (the poison can play tricks on us so leave your emotions and feelings out of the equation and just think on it practically.)
 
@Yeshuah: a lil self reflection and being able to take a step back gives us a clearer perspective sometimes on what's really going on, plus it's good in not letting the poison control our p.o.v and get the best of us all the time. so since you acknowledged it i would say Yeshuah ftw, not xeplion ftw.
 
@Empty1128: some of us heal our emotions in our sleep first, some during our waking hours. it's not important when they happen but that they do heal. either way it's a good sign they are working and will return to the way they were 24 hours a day.

mine came in my sleep first (the good ones anyway), i was way happy it happened when i woke up. that first feeling of something good again, but i feel ya. after i got on with my day i was like "where did that emotion go?". weird it's only in the sleep but it's better than nothing right? after some time went by i had emotions in my sleep and while awake. others have done this as well.
 
@Empty1128: not calling you weird. i agree it is weird, i would've preferred it happening during the day too. sorry, hard to go from video game mode to people mode, takes a lil bit sometimes even with my symptom XD.

to the room: just bouncing things off of you all. seeing what works and what doesn't. i don't have much of an off switch when it comes to my path in life. i use heart, body, brain and soul to get me through life and this trial. might be a lil too intense for you all sometimes so i throw something out there and if it works then great, if not then the feedback i get from everyone helps me to be more mindful and interact with everyone here. makes me a better person cause we're all different and all carry a different perspective on things.
 
As I said I rode my bike on monday for 30 km. I always advised you to exercise and go all out but I can give you a few tips to heal smoothly and nicely because working out and doing exercises that require the muscles to work and pump lots of blood and oxygen will make the recovery a little annoying. So I did that on monday and today friday, I still feel the bad mood induced by monday's exercises. If you want to avoid these things, avoid working out too hard as well as riding your bike up and down the hills. But running and walking is fine.
 
Day 129

My mood is crappy today. I am feeling more and more "normal" as time goes by but it's not worth it if I don't feel happiness and joy.
I love to pray and give God sincere prayers. I asked precisely when I would be healed and I felt in my chest and mind that complete remission will be around day 160-170. 5 1/2 months which makes a lot of sense since my motivation and interests take FOREVER to come back.
 
zack365 said:
Day 129

My mood is crappy today. I am feeling more and more "normal" as time goes by but it's not worth it if I don't feel happiness and joy.
I love to pray and give God sincere prayers. I asked precisely when I would be healed and I felt in my chest and mind that complete remission will be around day 160-170. 5 1/2 months which makes a lot of sense since my motivation and interests take FOREVER to come back.
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Hey @zack365 how can you say that your emotions came back 100% when you don't feel joy or happiness. This comfirms to me that we won't ever have the same conciousness level as we had before invega, because it leads us to fallacy of how we feel about ourselves. We will never be able again to know what "normal" really is, because we will forget it and have to be satisfied about living less of a hell, but never fully come back to our own selves. Thinking about this leads me to complete despair. I'm reading a lot of storys online that make me come to the conclusion, that everyone has its own perspective about recovering. And I doubt that I wil ever reach the point of my perspective of recovery. A lot of people say that they recovered but have an impairment on their conciousness level and they learn to live with this. But recovery means to me to not have any impairment at all. Fully to me means full 100% and not just 90%. I'm just so done with this crap. My life has been ruined by this f*** poison. I just cannot live with the thought of having a permanent impairment of my conicousness level for the rest of my life. This is complete crap!!!!! I hate it so much!!!!

@zack365 I don't think god will really help us. The only thing he can do is to lead us to acceptance that we won't ever be the same again. :( :( :( :( It seems to be our destiny that we will always have to live a life knowing that we lost ourselve through this drug. I don't want to think like that but it's the only conclusion I can make after reading so many storys. If someone can teach me better, I would be gratefull.

@ThoseWhoRecovered Did you really recover or is it possible that you forgot what your 100% capacities were?

Desperatly
Me
 
zack365 said:
Day 129

My mood is crappy today. I am feeling more and more "normal" as time goes by but it's not worth it if I don't feel happiness and joy.
I love to pray and give God sincere prayers. I asked precisely when I would be healed and I felt in my chest and mind that complete remission will be around day 160-170. 5 1/2 months which makes a lot of sense since my motivation and interests take FOREVER to come back.
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Are you saying God gave u that time frame?

Ur getting close. Hang n there.
 
Yeshua relax man go out for a walk or go talk to someone, it really will help trust me. Look point is even if I recover sixty percent of what I once was I?d be happy. Fate has led us down this path there is no way to turn back time, just accept it. I know you feel sad, but you?re still deep down hidden under a wet blanket, but you?re still there. Take a deep breath and accept it. Don?t think about it, just accept it. Lots of people recover and it is your paranoia saying that they didn?t recover a hundred percent and that is if they do. There are people who never recover, and you and I and those who haven?t recovered have a chance no matter how small to join that group of less fortunate population. The key here is to accept it. At least you?re not still being given that poison, so chances are even if you are a mighty slow recoverer you will recover in years. I myself have just started my journey. 10th October will be the first day of my recovery journey since I?m due my fifth shot then but my personal pdoc has gotten me off the shot. I?ll be real with myself. For the most part I can still function, am not fat. I?m far from being the optimistic super driven beast I once was but even if it doesn?t come back then I?ll just be the laidback background dude who cares for others. I want to write books. Sure it?ll be harder now but I?ll do it. I?ll stick with it. One page a day and I?m set in a year. So don?t fret pal I?m so so sorry you have to go through this and I cry everyday too but part of healing is to accept that we may. Never be the same person. Maybe God wanted us to change our personalities. Even without the poison our personality ebbs and flows every time. Nothing is stagnant.

Peace.
 
Steph78 said:
Are you saying God gave u that time frame?

Ur getting close. Hang n there.
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I was taught at Church that God answer one way or another and the Holy spirit is felt through the heart. When I prayed, I felt in my chest somehow that after day 160 I'll be free from this hell.
Could be right, cound be wrong.
 
Yeshuah said:
Hey @zack365 how can you say that your emotions came back 100% when you don't feel joy or happiness. This comfirms to me that we won't ever have the same conciousness level as we had before invega, because it leads us to fallacy of how we feel about ourselves. We will never be able again to know what "normal" really is, because we will forget it and have to be satisfied about living less of a hell, but never fully come back to our own selves. Thinking about this leads me to complete despair. I'm reading a lot of storys online that make me come to the conclusion, that everyone has its own perspective about recovering. And I doubt that I wil ever reach the point of my perspective of recovery. A lot of people say that they recovered but have an impairment on their conciousness level and they learn to live with this. But recovery means to me to not have any impairment at all. Fully to me means full 100% and not just 90%. I'm just so done with this crap. My life has been ruined by this f*** poison. I just cannot live with the thought of having a permanent impairment of my conicousness level for the rest of my life. This is complete crap!!!!! I hate it so much!!!!

@zack365 I don't think god will really help us. The only thing he can do is to lead us to acceptance that we won't ever be the same again. :( :( :( :( It seems to be our destiny that we will always have to live a life knowing that we lost ourselve through this drug. I don't want to think like that but it's the only conclusion I can make after reading so many storys. If someone can teach me better, I would be gratefull.

@ThoseWhoRecovered Did you really recover or is it possible that you forgot what your 100% capacities were?

Desperatly
Me
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I haven't lost myself. I will recover and even if I don't I guess I will have to figure out a solution, complaining doesn't help much. Life happens to everybody man.
These situations may not get easier right away we have to get stronger.
I wish you to heal like many who did.
 
This is terrible, does anyone get the sense because of this poison any cross road difficulties makes the situation much more disastrous? I am at a crossroad today, unlike yesterday, where now I feel a situation has made much more difficult to handle the current state of mind falling into deep depression again.
 
He is right, if I feel no change after 2 years, not even in the dreams for a short moment I felt like before, then I really think, the receptors are died.
 
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