Mr. King Pizza -
nothing but love, sir. Really, nothing but good karma to and from you. I wouldn't take that any other way. Even when I was doing my best and I almost.....see, I just noddedoff there for a second...anyway,almost stayed clean for 6 months - I was still reading the site, which I have to admit, is a huge trigger. Even though I have made friends IRL, from this board and others, and I feel they are positive, helpful (if not always healthy) relationships, they are what they are...
I actually don't see what you are referring to in my post, maybe making an inference about me, or where this fits in my life, or something like that....
But you are correct on a few accounts0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0- (I thinik I'm gonna leave the nonsense in here as an example of my typing skills on drugs..lol) back to where you are correct :
1. I want to get off the subs, (especially since they are switching me to zubsolve and I heard bad feedback, but whatever. try to krrp an open mind and see what happens.
2. Part of wanting to be off subs is to be off of any opioid, any non-prescribed therapeutic drug, and also to save money. So no grass, no alcohol especially, no nothing that doesn't involve a Dr.
3. Saving money - cause there is so much other shit I need that money for, and it goes straight into the d-boy fraternal credit union account. Those guys need to work on their pension benefits, but i guess not many make it that far to start collecting....
4. Any day now, my kids are gonna know, and like know immediately. This CANNNOT afeect them. I gre up the bitter son of a bitter alcoholic father,and I'm batting 1.000 at everything I said I've never do to be like him.
5. I truly desire to get back into a healthy loving relationship with my wife and heal those wounds. her problems may be bigger than mine, she may be unwilling to address them, but that remains to be seen. And really, it's not my business - all I can do is take care of myself.
So, I don't know what struck a sore spot there with the comment...I did cut back from 6 to 4 and after 5 days I was sick, so I went back to 6 for 2 days then back to dope, and for now I'm skipping the subs, except when I don't have any dope which is most of the time. I feel like i can get high about 1x per week, cause no matter whose bags they are I need about 5 or 6 to get nice...like right now. I have $50, picked up a half jab this morning and it's gone. Last time was tuesday or Weds I thinik, I got a jab and that lasted one day, with a wake up the next morning. Before that was last friday....and on and on.
What I've decided, is like the Chinck said, and he knows best - I need a good raw connect so I don't have to blow all that powder into my lungs and so I can keep a realtive lid on my tolerance/habit. I don't know how to converts tjje suboxone to dope ratio, but if there's some kinda rule of thumb out there, pass it along. I'm on basicallt 4 mg per day and it takes about 5-7 bags to nod out.
Peace to Pizza, and all you other cats and kittens...