I know I was in a spot. I was driving and didn't get out. I was scouting for spots to park and walk up too but then it's like I could be mistaken and even if they were serving they could jump me for sport and I'm good enough with my hands to get stabbed or shot. And like I mentioned I just got my coffee so that would make for a crappy Sunday.
Sometimes it helps us see ourselves from a retrospective/outside point of view. u used right before the program, used the whole time while in the program, then ur picking up tomorrow and everyday into the foreseeable future. U may have the wrong attitude if ur still trying to get ur life in order lol. I mean your right what is the point. Is it really your 8th treatment if you havent been fully committed to the treatment? You cant look at it like u tried to get treatment 8 times unless u gave it ur all all 8 times.
Sounds like you are pretty deep if you're taking that much suboxone. Ever wonder if you're sure of exactly which thing your feeling WDs from at a given moment? Like if you were hurting from benzos but you take 12mg Suboxone then you get deeper into that hole unneccesarily. One time I had no Subs so I was using kratom but using dope every 3 or 4 days and after 2 weeks I realized I was having frickin Kratom WDs to some degree.
...Man. I don't understand why I have the shitstorm and am soaking through two sets of clothes at night. I'm taking around 8+/- a couple mg of sub daily. I'm on day 3? I know its not anything other than heroin withdrawal because that's the only thing Ive been taking daily. I take large gabapentin doses but not everyday...I only have 3 left, took 2 today and its not doing a Damn thing. I can't wait to get my lyrica next week. And more gabapentin.
I MIGHT pick up some h today down in rockford but it depends on whether or not a buddy gets his check. Uuuughhh. I'm not sure which way to go anymore. Nothing feels right. There's something severely lacking.
Do you feel the H after taking that much sub? Keep in mind the half life of sub is very long. So my guess would be that you are saturating the everliving shit out of your opiate receptors between the h and sub. I've put myself in similar and it can be best sometimes to switch to just h long enough to detox the sub, then stop the h and switch to sub only. My 2 cents, I shoot and even keep a calendar of my use cuz I rarely have sub and calculate how bad my WDs will be. Gotta always get to work to make the donuts.
