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CD Social V. I. Am. Not. Your. Foot.

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Jibult said:
Alright, I came across an amazing joke today and I just gotta share it with y'all.

So three guys are on a boat and they have four cigarettes, but no lighters or matches or anything to light them with. What do they do?


EDIT: Okay, fuck it, I'll tell you anyways. They just threw one cigarette overboard and made the whole boat a cigarette lighter.
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They lit the boat on fire? With what?

How high were you when you posted that?
 
The Network said:
They lit the boat on fire? With what?

How high were you when you posted that?
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Fire? What? No, they don't have fire-making materials. Read it again, but slowly this time.

I swear to God, saw it on some website earlier this morning and every time I came back here to check and see if anyone was waiting for the punchline I just geeked the fuck out when I re-read it. And I haven't smoked since Wednesday night, so that actually might have something to do with it. It's kind of like I'm high on sobriety after being high off weed and alcohol almost constantly for years, even though it's only been ~2 days.
 
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Jibult said:
Fire? What? No, they don't have fire-making materials. Read it again, but slowly this time.

I swear to God, saw it on some website earlier this morning and every time I came back here to check and see if anyone was waiting for the punchline I just geeked the fuck out when I re-read it. And I haven't smoked since Wednesday night, so that actually might have something to do with it. It's kind of like I'm high on sobriety after being high off weed and alcohol almost constantly for years, even though it's only been ~2 days.
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Still makes no sense.
 
The Network said:
Still makes no sense.
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Jesus... Really?

Think of it this way: you buy a pack of jacks. You smoke one. You're now one cigarette lighter than you were before.

You've ruined it for me, I hope you're proud of yourself.
 
It's a lot better when you have the Eureka! moment yourself and don't need someone to explain it to you, but yeah, you're right.

and bulllllllshit, w01f, you can't litter in the ocean. You throw it in and God takes it away and handles it for you, so next time you come to the water it's gone. You'll never see it again. Like, I'm pretty sure that's how we learned about recycling.
 
Jibult said:
It's a lot better when you have the Eureka! moment yourself and don't need someone to explain it to you, but yeah, you're right.

and bulllllllshit, w01f, you can't litter in the ocean. You throw it in and God takes it away and handles it for you, so next time you come to the water it's gone. You'll never see it again. Like, I'm pretty sure that's how we learned about recycling.
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In that case.....

HEY GUYS! I think I just found the next genius who found out how to safely dispose of nuclear waste! Let's petition, let's go to congress, let's make it a law!
 
ashwolf22101 said:
In that case.....

HEY GUYS! I think I just found the next genius who found out how to safely dispose of nuclear waste! Let's petition, let's go to congress, let's make it a law!
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Don't let Cheeto Man see this thread or he'll appoint jibuilt head of EPA with that attitude
 
The Network said:
Don't let Cheeto Man see this thread or he'll appoint jibuilt head of EPA with that attitude
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As long as they don't get you thinking about a joke I'm pretty sure everything'll be okay.

ashwolf22101 said:
In that case.....

HEY GUYS! I think I just found the next genius who found out how to safely dispose of nuclear waste! Let's petition, let's go to congress, let's make it a law!
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Fuckin' right we should. I'm tired of having to put the trash can out every Thursday, much rather just throw shit in the sewer whenever I want. Also a magical place, by the way, because these sewers they got nowadays'll take your trash off your hands quicker than any river I've ever seen.

Probably cuz things float so well down there but fuck if I'm gonna try to understand how God works his magic.
 
w01fg4ng said:
lol, now that's a joke that doesn't need explaining...
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Damn, seriously? I can understand Network not getting it because he seems like a really young guy still trying to get his head around long-term self-control, but I figure a worldly guy like you would've understood near immediately.

You disappoint me, w01fy.
 
w01fg4ng said:
Timing is important. Work on the delivery.
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It's more something you have to hear rather than read, but the thing about reading is you have plenty of time to figure it out before jumping the gun.

Voice inflection is a bit different when you're talking about a cigarette lighter versus something being one cigarette lighter, and the word choice is downright devious.


no regrets, still one of the best Dad jokes I've come across in a long time.
 
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