Your life is shit because you think too fucking much. Quit analyzing everything so much and just find stuff to do. If all you think about is how crappy your life has become then you're essentially training yourself to think that way.
Snap out of it, find some hobbies, make some new friends. Go do something fun. There ARE fun things to do other than drugs, you know. Quit being such a drama queen and start living, 'cause you're temporarily dead.
I know this seems like I'm making light of your situation, but why not? It's just as easy to make light of a situation as it is to make a situation worse than it is. Do you have cancer? Do you cough up dark red blood from a horrible lung disease? Do other people need to wipe your ass 'cause you're too sick to get up to go to the toilet?
I doubt it. Your life isn't THAT bad. You're simply stuck on thinking that it is. Try meditating to find the joys of just BEING. Most people have problems because, like I said before, they think TOO MUCH. Instead of saying to themselves, "I am so bored," or "I am feeling like shit," why not just stick with "I am." Feel the joy in that, and live your life. Life is fucking short so don't waste your time bitching about it like so many other people who don't deserve to breathe. So many scholars have realized that life is precious, and there's a reason for that. The fact that you can say: "I am." Is amazing.
Ignore your stupid little ego which is stuck in a rut of self loathing and contempt and find fun things to do with your life. Ignore your useless day dreams of your past selves which are NO LONGER RELEVENT. Live for now, stay focused on where you are right now. Not where you think you should be, or what you think you should be doing. Just stay here right fucking now and realize the beauty of living and breathing.
Stay here now, and the rest will solve itself.
And the voice in your head that's probably saying "But it's not that easy, I really do dislike a lot of the stuff I deal with blah blah" is the same voice you need to swiftly smirk at and tell to shut the fuck up. Quit BEING that voice, rise above it like the god/goddess you were truly meant to be, and move on from it.
You paint your own reality, so it's dumb to think that by using ugly colours you're going to create a masterpiece. Your thoughts become reality, stay here now and you're fucking untouchable.
I think this is what drugs do, in a lot of ways. They force you to stay in the present moment, they completely erase any concept of "time" or what you "should" be doing. Instead you just stay in the moment and focus on what's going on RIGHT NOW and with that comes a very deep feeling of joy. There's a reason mushrooms and LSD feel so spiritual and magical, but the doors that the drugs open were already there to begin with.
All of it is within you if you simply stay awake, stay enlightened, stay here.
Don't think, be.