Stop him if you can
Hope this is the right place to post this.
I'm the mom to a 14 yr old boy with severe adhd. He was diagnosed at 4 1/2 yrs old and has been on various medications since that time. Approx. 3 months ago he discovered weed and now can't control or regulate his usage. He has some insight when he uses too much and has taken a break a couple of times. I don't smoke weed or use any substances with the exception of the occasion glass of wine or beer so his current situation really took me by surprise. I can't tolerate the 2nd hand smoke and am worried about neighbours complaining. I often come home from work to a cloudy, smokey house and I've had 2 respiratory infections since he started this. So this is about both of us.
I know it's the lack of effective or helpful treatments for his adhd that has led him to this way of managing his "symptoms". The problem is the lack of motivation and fear of what we don't know about MJ and teen brains.
The reality is, in small amounts, weed seems to really help with things like irritability, restlessness, anger, impulsivity, etc. Unfortunately, it's the amount and frequency that is really problematic.
Pharmaceutical treatments for adhd (stimulants) are a hard sell for him - he takes a very low dose of Vyvanse these days. The side effects - esp. loss of appetite and insomnia are the big issues with these drugs.
Things like passing out at a friends house until 4 a.m. resulting in me having to call the police (won't tell me where he is b/c he doesn't want me to know which of his friends also smoke) is an example of what we're facing. It's a combination of an adolescent roller-coaster of learning how the world works and making mistakes, but seems more extreme than what most parents face.
My primary concerns are the impact weed has on his developing brain, the volume & frequency of his usage, where to turn for clinical information as to whether we should be working on harm reduction, abstinence, obtaining a green card - among other concerns.
Thought I would post here for some feedback.
Thx,
In my opinion teenagers shouldn't smoke weed. I say this because their brains are still developing and drug use messes with that. Teenage years are a crucial time where people are working out who they are as all the hormones etc kick in. It's a time where people start to develop interests, hobbies, start sussing out people more, developing friendships.
You don't want drug taking to be his primary hobby and the thing that he defines himself by, and for all of his friendships to be drug based. He'll end up staying in drug culture until something happens that forces him to re-assess things. That something may be realising that he doesn't want to be a lazy stoner dick, or realising that the boy/girl of his dreams won't consider him if he's a drug addict. Or it may be a psychotic episode, where it's unknown if and how well he'll pull through.
I have two siblings who got heavily into it as young teens (I tried it but for some reason at that time it didn't take, possibly because I was alarmed at how I saw the drug change them). It fucked their mental health (depression when not on it, anger problems, no motivation etc), fucked their schooling, fucked friendships, there was always drama. One got into other drugs and became a junkie for a couple years. I eventually became a hard stoner myself in my mid 20s after dating a stoner. The occasional toke on his pipe increased dramatically once the relationship was on its road to hell. I smoked heavily for 3 years, stopped, started, stopped started...sigh. I'm on this forum because I'm at the tail end of a month long binge after not touching the shit for 8 months or so.
From that, experience dating stoners, and as a stunted stoner myself, I think weed can also really stunt emotional maturity. It makes people lazy, makes them unaware of how they're affecting others around them and making relationships suffer.
He may have ADHD, but he doesn't need to be on a psychedelic like weed (anybody who says it isn't one, go read the Tripping thread, plenty of cannabis trip stories there.) The problem with trying to medicate with cannabis is that it can be hard to control dosage, and I don't think you'll be able to with him, from the sounds of it. He's not medicating, he's using it recreationally. There's a difference in the mind set.
The rah rah weed is harmless thing that seems to be a mantra for many American stoners (it can be legalised without lying about it, geez) is such bullshit. Especially regarding children.
Dealers who deal to kids are scum, and parents who use at home need to fucking well lock that shit away.
Good luck with your son. You may want to visit some support groups for yourself, to talk to other parents of addicts. Maybe take him to a rehab centre or support group to talk to people who are trying to give it up.
He may not be able to quit or even cut down on his usage until he himself realises that he needs to.
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
I guess that is to be expected though.
