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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

Can I Ever Use Meth Again W/O Addiction?

a40oztohell

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 3, 2023
Messages
46
On and off meth addict for almost 5 years and I haven't used for a lil over a month and I just really wanna know if I'll ever be able to go back without addiction, like maybe a step I missed during my several other relapses? This is a stupid question, yes, but life feels so much harder without it. Whether it be blowing thick clouds or the full-body sensation of a shot, I feel like I need it.

I think I know the answer but chances are I'm gonna go back either way. Any ways to control it?
 
Nope.

I'm not a big fan of meth but even I have a hard time controlling it when I get some and attempt to use for functional purposes (like as an adderall substitute). Instead of taking a small functional oral dose (like 30mg) I inevitably start breaking off larger chunks, and start creeping into the 100mg+ range, which is enough to put one into a manic tweaked out state. And I'll often wind up going through all of it without taking days off. And this is from someone who isn't even a big meth fan.
 
Nope.

I'm not a big fan of meth but even I have a hard time controlling it when I get some and attempt to use for functional purposes (like as an adderall substitute). Instead of taking a small functional oral dose (like 30mg) I inevitably start breaking off larger chunks, and start creeping into the 100mg+ range, which is enough to put one into a manic tweaked out state. And I'll often wind up going through all of it without taking days off. And this is from someone who isn't even a big meth fan.
Well im screwed then. What makes it worse is I get it for so cheap too.. Cheaper than usual prices here.

Just wish it wasnt addictive, I miss feeling a huge shot all throughout my body.
 
I was a daily user, needed it to function and work both my jobs. Took me months to feel morning once I stopped, think I slept for close to 6 weeks straight minus about 4 hours on and off a day.

That was 20 years ago. I did not trust myself, however in the past 6 months my partner and I have been dabbling. Both coming from addictive pasts with meth we have some very strong rules and guidelines. Eg - once every 8-12 weeks (we do MD and Ket at other times mostly with friends/social situations) no more than 3 hits in a session, never ever alone, usually a Friday night and Sunday is forced exercise, fruits and veggies and recentreing so it won’t affect our work weeks.

It’s also locked away and requires both of us to be able to access it (also because we have kids, but also so there are no issues with addiction creeping back in, or lying etc).
 
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ppl claim they use it for functional purposes but i don't think it's possible - i still stand by the "there's no such thing as occasional meth-user"

now maybe there is, but don't ever think that a person telling you that has some sort of control over it - don't believe them - you're just better off


no matter what, you're gonna do more, and cross the line, which is really easy to do, and then you're an idiot and probably a fuckin asshole on top of it who steals and rips ppl off - before you know it, you got no friends - except other tweekers who steal from you too


and ive never had a drug make me feel not right for that long after doing it - we're talking at least 10 days until im feeling normal again - that's fucked up

it's really not a good drug - just don't do it - just find something else to do or get into
 
On and off meth addict for almost 5 years and I haven't used for a lil over a month and I just really wanna know if I'll ever be able to go back without addiction, like maybe a step I missed during my several other relapses? This is a stupid question, yes, but life feels so much harder without it. Whether it be blowing thick clouds or the full-body sensation of a shot, I feel like I need it.

I think I know the answer but chances are I'm gonna go back either way. Any ways to control it?
Not a chance.

On again off again for five years and now asking ...

Not to be rude but:

PLAY STUPID GAMES AND WIN STUPID PRIZES.

You're about to win an extra large case of addiction by playing a stupid game.
 
On and off meth addict for almost 5 years and I haven't used for a lil over a month and I just really wanna know if I'll ever be able to go back without addiction, like maybe a step I missed during my several other relapses? This is a stupid question, yes, but life feels so much harder without it. Whether it be blowing thick clouds or the full-body sensation of a shot, I feel like I need it.

I think I know the answer but chances are I'm gonna go back either way. Any ways to control it?
Unfortunately no I just went through this pretty exact situation. I was off meth for 6 years met a guy who a week ago found out he was a dealer I gave into my cravings and got meth from him. Went home and felt that high for first time in 6 years and what was supposed to to be a one time use has turned into me being way more addicted to it now then I was before I got sober cause I pretty much haven’t been able to put the pipe down. I’m using daily and getting my high is pretty much all I think and care about. So don’t do it or you will probably become me it’s just not worth it.
 
On and off meth addict for almost 5 years and I haven't used for a lil over a month and I just really wanna know if I'll ever be able to go back without addiction, like maybe a step I missed during my several other relapses? This is a stupid question, yes, but life feels so much harder without it. Whether it be blowing thick clouds or the full-body sensation of a shot, I feel like I need it.

I think I know the answer but chances are I'm gonna go back either way. Any ways to control it?
I guess that really depends on you. You use the term addict or were you more of a casual user? You can set limits for yourself. Measure out a certain amount for that day only. Limit it to weekends, every 3 days, etc. I've been able to do that in the past. I have friends who will use a little in the morning and go to work all day without anything more. I kinda look at it like anything else. If you want to control it, come up with a system that works for you. Schedule it out. It might sound silly but knowing when you'll get that next dose will stop the excessive use.
 
I guess that really depends on you. You use the term addict or were you more of a casual user? You can set limits for yourself. Measure out a certain amount for that day only. Limit it to weekends, every 3 days, etc. I've been able to do that in the past. I have friends who will use a little in the morning and go to work all day without anything more. I kinda look at it like anything else. If you want to control it, come up with a system that works for you. Schedule it out. It might sound silly but knowing when you'll get that next dose will stop the excessive use.
I guess knowing when your next dose will be could definitely help stop excessive use for some people. Unfortunately it hasn’t worked for me I meet my dealer everyday around the same time and so far it hasn’t stop my excessive use,
 
I'm not a stimulant person, so just putting it right out there that I don't have experience with meth. But if you struggled to control your use of a drug in the past, and you miss the drug a lot in the present... I really don't think there's any hope for being able to control it ever. Man, I can barely even control myself with ativan, which barely even gives me a tiny smidgen of euphoria. Can't control myself with anything remotely like a benzo. I still have dreams about etizolam even though I haven't had any for 10 years, and sometimes, between the monthly times when I devour my entire 30 day supply of zolpidem over 3-4 days, I dream about that too. I know I can't control any of these drugs. I love being on them way too much, and fucking hate the parts of my life where I'm sober. If those drugs are in my hands, I don't stand a chance.

The deep wanting, the fact that you miss it so much, and the pattern of failing to control it in the past are all signs that you're not going to be able to now, or even in the future. As depressing as that might be to think, I think it's important we're able to admit it to ourselves. There's a reason most ex-addicts will never touch their previous drugs of choice, not even for a second.
 
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Strange things happen. People see ghosts. They get struck by lightning. There are human beings who have jumped out airplanes with faulty parachutes who go on to live normal lives.

My point is, separate the probable from the possible. That "probable" is often how we end up so far off track in the first place.

"I can probably stay up all weekend and go to work on Monday"

"I can probably find a way to get the rent money"

"I'm probably gonna do this one more time and then I'm done"

It's 100% possible for someone to be addicted then return to a level of usage not harmful to their stability.

In practice, this is pretty much a fantasy. At this point in your life, you can only choose between control and no control. You have power when you're not influenced by the speed.

I do not judge anyone ever. I try my best not to preach. I will say that I've never met a person who returned to Meth that did not immediately return to heavy addiction.

If you want to be happy, don't do it.

I am a big proponent of stimulant maintenance. I think if another person dispenses them, it can help create a foundation of stability as Methadone clinics do.

I think it is a very tall order to ask someone who injects two grams of crystal a day to just attack life when his brain is telling him it's not worth it, kill yourself for weeks.

I think outcomes could be inproves tremendously just by offering a certain amount of Dextroamphetamine to a withdrawing client.

Then they can be tapered off the stimulant over the course of a few weeks.
 
ppl claim they use it for functional purposes but i don't think it's possible - i still stand by the "there's no such thing as occasional meth-user"

now maybe there is, but don't ever think that a person telling you that has some sort of control over it - don't believe them - you're just better off


no matter what, you're gonna do more, and cross the line, which is really easy to do, and then you're an idiot and probably a fuckin asshole on top of it who steals and rips ppl off - before you know it, you got no friends - except other tweekers who steal from you too


and ive never had a drug make me feel not right for that long after doing it - we're talking at least 10 days until im feeling normal again - that's fucked up

it's really not a good drug - just don't do it - just find something else to do or get into
I've known occasional meth users. But never users who where obsessive in use and then somehow managed to set limits, even after long times without use. That includes me. It's compulsive by it's very nature of effect.
Hell, an occasional Modafinil tempts me to jump on that roller coaster down that dirt road.
 
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