Boys: have you had same-sex thoughts? POLL CLOSED - results pg. 8

[Brian Oblivion]

I'll admit that I am a flaming hetero.

No matter how hard I try, I can never get sexually excited by guys. And it's not a social pressure thing, either. About 60% of my friends are gay. I've gone out bar hopping with them, attend Gay Pride every year, and even played match maker between two friends of mine who are gay.

For that matter, when I am at parties, I tend to hang out with the girls. I hate sports, I really enjoy talking about babies. I get thrilled when someone is "expecting," and ask tons of questions that women normally ask.

If I were female I would be a proud lesbian. But, unfortunately, I'm not physically built that way. Sooo...

I'm just a weirdo living on the very edge of a bell curve.

 

[Infinite Jest]

Hey everyone!

My boyfriend is gay and he has had sex with women.

I'd say *most* of the gay men I know have. Some of them have had sex with more women than I have. Sigh.

 

[Strawberry_lovemuffin]

[BJust please don't tell me I am confused or try to tell me I am missing out or not to knock it. . . [/B]

I don't think anyone here has said that.....

 

[Clonazaman]

I don't think anyone here has said that.....

"and that labelling yourself homosexual or heterosexual was only necessary if you have problems with who you are.

This is the statement that spawned my post. I have not seen the 'don't knock it till you've tried it' and 'straights are confused' thing here, but this seems to be the opinion that most gays posses that I have encountered.
This sentement seems directly linked to the above statement. Why would soneone of any particular sexual orientation needs to say something like this?

'and that labelling yourself homosexual or heterosexual was only necessary if you have problems with who you are'

 

[Strawberry_lovemuffin]

Okay. I agree, that statement is contentious.

Taken in that context (and also in the light of your other personal experiences) I can see where you're coming from.

But you just seemed to be taking personal offense and getting angry at all the posters here, when actually, if you read through most people don't have a black/white opinion on the subject at all.... also everyone else here has been able to put across their point of view without getting all worked up.


cheers for explaining. ... SLM.

 

[flyangel78]

say yes to orgasms

I agree with the idea that bisexuality is innate in all human beings. It is amazing what the power of conditioning can do to our minds. If you research anything about tantric societies, you will plainly see that many communities lived in harmony with these dual pleasures. Why not check out both sides of the line, or fuck, why not just erase that line and do whatever you want. Sexual freedom lets us release anxiety and stress that we experience in our everyday lives. And in this bullshit market economy we have plenty of stress! If one represses these sexual urges of freedom, then one will ultimatly unleash them in another form. This can typically be seen in violence or other negative ways. Look at poor Georgie boy. I bet Laura hasn't given it to him in quite some time! I saw an amazing documentary last year, W.R. Mystery of the Organism. It deals with the free love issue and Wilhelm Reich (spelling?) That is one interesting field of study Dr. Reich! Check it out if you like orgasms.

 

[Mysticalis]

Pussy is great
Pussy is grand
But if you can't get it
There's always a man!

-Anonymous

Posting this here for amusement's sake.

 

[Brian Oblivion]

Re: say yes to orgasms

I agree with the idea that bisexuality is innate in all human beings. It is amazing what the power of conditioning can do to our minds...

I don't agree with this at all. An individual's sexuality is hardwired. Otherwise homosexuals of the past (pre-1990's) would have never "selected" to be gay due to the real threat that it placed on their lives.

Alan Turing (the father of modern computer science) committed suicide because of the world's treatment of him due to his homosexuality. And what horrible loss to the world. Solely because the man was gay and it was made public in the 1950's.

And look at the Stonewall riot? This was the beginning of the gay liberation movement in the United States. Does all of that look like the result of conditioning?

None of it is social conditioning. These people risked their lives, contrary to the accepted "norm," due to the nature of their innate sexuality. There was no conditioning taking place. This sexual orientation "message" came from within, and it was loud and it was clear.

If someone says they are what they are, then they should be permitted the dignity to have that.

I think "the idea that bisexuality is innate in all human beings" is just an ideal. It sounds good (especially if you happen to be a bisexual), but in practise it just is not so.

People are born with their sexual preference. No amount of conditioning is going to change them.

 

[Mysticalis]

People are born with their sexual preference. No amount of conditioning is going to change them.

I agree with the first part, but disagree with the latter. I believe that sexual preference, as with any other preference, can remain adamant or fluctuate, depending on the person.

 

[Petersko]

I do believe there are people that are close to 100% either way, but mostly i think it's a big bell curve and most of us fall in the 40-60% range.

I'm one of those people at the "very hetero" end of the bell curve.

I'm aware of homosexuality only peripherally. I don't find it disgusting or abberant... it's just not me. More power to them! I was at the Roost in my home town (local gay bar) for a bit while picking up a friend there, and two guys hit on me. Didn't bother me in the slightest.

But I can't remember having any kind of sexual attraction to any man.

 

[Brian Oblivion]

Hi Mysticalis,

I agree with the first part, but disagree with the latter. I believe that sexual preference, as with any other preference, can remain adamant or fluctuate, depending on the person.

I've been seeing more and more talk about forcefully changing someone's sexual preference. Some gay men have fantasies about turning straight men into gay men, and write about it endlessly. There are conservatives who believe that homosexuality is a "sickness" and that it can be "cured." They also fear that their children can be turned into homosexuals by being exposed to gay people (as though you can "catch" gayness like a cold).

Lesbians constantly hear "you just haven't had the right man, yet." As though their "problem" has to do with being "set right" by a "man." Some of the people that Clonazaman has encountered appear to believe that they can "sell him" on changing his preference.

I just don't think it is possible to force (condition) or convince (sell) someone to change their sexual orientation. That's mostly what I was getting at by that comment.

 

[Mysticalis]

Ah, okay. I understand a lot better now. Thanks for the clarification. You rock Brian.

 

[Brian Oblivion]

Thanks, you do too.

Besides, you got to hang out with Bruce Willis. Now that Rocks!!!

 

[Brian Oblivion]

Hello Clonazaman,

Originally posted by Clonazaman
"I did an entire essay for english in yr 12 on how bisexuality is the only true sexuality, and that labelling yourself homosexual or heterosexual was only necessary if you have problems with who you are.

It basically argued that if you restrict yourself to one sex you may be denying yourself your perfect partner and therefore not being true to yourself. "

Please allow me to deny myself then. . .

OK I'll bite here, I don't know where people come up with shit like this. You are certainly entitled to your opinion on the matter, but this statement could not be farther from the truth...

I just went back through the whole thread and to be honest, I don't see everyone taking the stance that if you are straight then you are a confused bisexual. Granted, some folks do appear to hold that view, but it isn't the general population of posters in this thread.

I certainly do not believe this. If you haven't read my posts on the topic, please do. They are just one page back from this one. And even if "everybody" thought this, it doesn't really matter. You are born with your place on the sexual spectrum, and there ain't no body gonna change that.

Besides, you know who you are. And that's all that really counts anyway.

 

[qetui]

wieerd... i've had "gay" guys hit on me quite a few times... (i'm a girl)... one particular supposedly gay dude that comes to mind had been going out with his male partner of 7 years... haha i'm like thinking, aren't you supposed to be gay????

 

[Brian Oblivion]

^^^^^
That is puzzling. Are you sure that it was an actual come on?

Lots of gay men that I know like hanging out with straight women, partly because they feel that they have the attraction to guys in common.

 

[Strawberry_lovemuffin]

What I find interesting is that nearly 30% of the 'straight' males who've replied here have had a physical experience with another guy, and a further 24% or so would do so if they had the right chance.

Really proves my theory..... which was, if I'd posted this as a non-anonymous thread, I'll bet 90% of those replies would be "oh no, no way, never!"

 

[Raving Loony]

"Yes I have... and I might experiment if the situation felt right."

Certainly a big change from a couple of years ago.

 

[beachboyty]

"and that labelling yourself homosexual or heterosexual was only necessary if you have problems with who you are.

This is the statement that spawned my post. I have not seen the 'don't knock it till you've tried it' and 'straights are confused' thing here, but this seems to be the opinion that most gays posses that I have encountered.
This sentement seems directly linked to the above statement. Why would soneone of any particular sexual orientation needs to say something like this?

'and that labelling yourself homosexual or heterosexual was only necessary if you have problems with who you are'

You have either been hanging around a group of particularly jaded gay guys, OR you are just so fucking hot that they all want desperately for you to develop an "open mind", in which case they should accurately be saying, "don't knock it till you've tried it WITH ME."

The vast majority of the men I associate with on a daily basis are, like myself, gay. None of them would seriously opine that straight men are confused or have problems with who they are.

Now, as for your statement in another post in this thread concerning being told, "you're missing out." Well, that is quite simply the objective truth. You are missing out. Of course, I tell my bf all the time that because he would NEVER do anything with a girl (he gets ill at the thought) that he is missing out. Bottom line, he is!

Now, that's not to say thats a bad thing. I don't swim in the ocean...period. Now I have been told that I am missing out on seeing some amazingly beautiful things because I will NEVER EVER scuba dive in shark infested waters. That is accurate. I am totallly missing out. But guess what, I neither care about what Im missing out on, nor could I physically get myself to try it just to find out. This is neither problematic for me, nor does it in anyway affect the happy course of my life.

So, don't get caught up on the missing out thing. Yes, you are missing out on an experience that would likely make you feel real good in some ways that are new to you, just like my bf is by ruling out sexual experiences with women. But life is full of things that we will "miss out" on quite simply because its not in the cards for any of us to experience absolutely everything that there is to experience in life.

 

[Infinite Jest]

^
Heh, I saw that you'd posted, and thought you'd probably come in here to gloat about the number of straight boys with homosex thoughts. Instead we get a really considered, thoughtful post (why should I be surprised?).

Glad to see you posting again.

Simon