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Bluelight Singles thread "Living without justification" Part 2

^^ exactly, never sell yourself short.

Be whole, secure and validated on your OWN. Perhaps, *maybe* you will let the right person into your life. That's how I framed it anyway and it worked well for me.

So much of life is how you look at it. The same situation can seem completely different depending on how you look at it. I always try and see the positives of everything. Any 'failure' is simply a message telling me "you can improve here".

Playing the 'victim' (the world is out to get me, woe is me) will just breed more circumstances where you are the victim. The mind is incredibly powerful in shaping the way we perceive life. If you are seeing the world with a view that is skewed towards self-empowerment and security then everything will fall towards that view.

Anyway, i'll stop before i launch into more wanky self-help ;)

pz ya'll

Adikkal
 
Right on, Adge! Insofar as it is possible you got to take control of your own life, even if it's just an illusory control, at least you feel better about it. Victim mentalities never get you anywhere except victimisation. Also yes, don't drop standards for a percieved increase in happiness, it doesn't work like that and comes back to bite you in the arse.

As for me, yes, I'm back, and it feels good so far.

-plaz out-
 
^ yeah that's so true - even if it is just perceived control. i think the benefits of the placebo effect of that (ie. beginning to take charge of your life by thinking you can control it, increased confidence, happiness and self-awareness) are absolutely and undeniably fantastic.

If you constantly blame others for what goes wrong in your life, you will find nothing changes :\

welcome back plaz :)
 
onetwothreefour said:
Originally posted by up all night
Why does it matter why someone rejects you? A girl doesn't need a good reason. They didn't like the person enough to want to date them - that's a reason in itself.


exactly.

i think the only person being unreasonable here is wacky, tbh. i've had my fair share of reactions, but in end there's nothing you can do about it except move on. nobody should be blamed for not liking somebody else - it's just the way things go.

personally, i think the world world's relationships would actually be a lot *more* fucked up if people were less fussy and instead just settled for whatever looked okay. there'd be more people in relationships, but few of them happy.
Click to expand...

yeah, werd!

Your post came off sounding as if you're all cut up because the girls you like, think they're too good for you. Maybe it's not their standards that are too high, but rather yours? I mean, I think it's always ok to try... but fuck, if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out.

It's 'ok' to think you can do better! Anyone who debates this is in denial. Take a reality check. Yeah, it may not feel like skating on ice when it works against you, however keep in mind you'll reject people for the same reason in the future...

It's just life.
 
sur le sujet de la coeur

*yawn*

i've come to the conclusion that after an extended period of abstinence (and if i call it that, it almost implies that it's been solely my choice...which it has to some degree, but not to all degrees 8)) from relationships, i think that if it came up, i'd be almost ready to give a relationship a go - with the right person of course.

this is because i think that i've come to the realisation lately that i'm pretty sure i'm over the hump of being violently repelled by the idea of even fitting someone else into my schedule, sharing my life with someone and vice versa.

that's not to say i'm going to be heading out to a speed-dating event near you. in fact, this revelation will probably not change my life one iota. :)

that is all.
 
to go back a little bit to what you were saying about crushes.....i think they're the absolute best thing in the world and i like to have many crushes at once coz i think it makes things so much more fun.
i currently have a barman crush (even though i promised myself no more after last time), several work crushes, and several other friend/associate crushes.
 
^ oh shityeah. thankfully since that woeful post, my crush list is most definitively back in acccttiioooon!

no-one is exempt! tradesmen, shop assistants, randoms that you see at uni. people on public transport, friends, enemies, work colleagues, people who hold positions of authority, politicians, family (haha just kidding though my 3rd cousin...he's pretty hot! ;)) THERE IS NO LIMIT TO CRUSHABILITY!

and the best bit about crushes.

is that you can say

"i'm totally crushing!!!!"

go teen grrrl squad! =D
 
^ You're single and available again? Instead of just single? That's the gist I got from your dash out of the thread. *shrugs*

Welcome back Grant...
 
^^^That would be a correct assumption. It was like a trial period at work where they have a right to fire you in the first 3 months if you don't meet expectations...
 
I'm always availible for "crushing on" :p

I usually always have some form of crush going on at anyone time. My fav, is the total stranger that you see often but never talk to. Eg. The person on the train, or that works in your building.

Except, I ruined one of my crushes today, well no, actually she ruined it. She spoke to me and introduced herself in the lift this morning!!.. GAWD! There goes the stranger crush. She's lost total appeal now! ;)
 
and then there are those of us who are in relationships but like to hang out in here too cos it has that old familiar warmth about it. and cos all our friends are here.
 
up all night said:
I'm back. Again. No details necessary. I need a crush. Bags Miss P.
Click to expand...

:( to that news...but :) for getting crushed on! ;)

You're so on UAN! We can be hot scene lesssbians and have lesbian melodrama L-word stylez :p
 
I think it's been said before but the problem of finding someone is sometimes nothing compared to having time to spend with them!

I'm having this problem right now. I went out with this girl about a month ago and we really hit it off. She's awesome. I really thought I'd actually stay with her and I think she felt the same.

We arranged to go mushroom hunting about two weeks ago but that didn't happen. Something came up and she ended up going to Newcastle.

She had this last weekend off but I had heaps of homework to do. No go there either.

So finally we were supposed to se each other tomorrow, which probably would have ended in the AM on thursday because I have a gig tomorrow night, but now we can only manage lunch - if that.

This has happened a million times before. I'm getting really fed up with it and this sort of thing is not limited to relationships either, so multiply this post by five or six and that's how I feel right now.

edit: Might I add that I was at uni from 9-9 yesterday doing an assignment due on thursday so I could completely write off tomorrow and spend the afternoon with her.

:( :X :(
 
you know, as much as some people would say "if two people really like each other, they'll make the time to see each other" I do agree that in today's world, it is harder.

We've all placed so much emphasis on ourselves and our peers to not base our lives on meeting "the one", spending time with them in preparation for the marriage etc etc etc etc,. tried to emphasize that we need to base our happiness on US, not others, to get out there and live life, fill your life up, and above all do not drop your mates when a new s/o comes creeping around the outer edges of your life, get out there live life, not watch it go by because thats when you'll neet him/her blah blah....

....and what happens? We literally don't have the time to spend quality time with that person we've met. OUr schedules are so busy, that the only time free is Friday night, but alas, we've already organised to meet up with mates we haven't seen in a month because of such hecticnessn already in our lives. And the last thing you want to do is cancel on your mates for the guy you snogged in the pub last weekend...

So we've a world full of all these fantastic interesting singles, who are currently leading the most interesting lives, yet no-one's got the time to be with each other, and share it with each other.

This is what I found in a recent stray of mine, out of the single world. But having said that, I think if he had had that little bit extra that really had my heart racing about seeing him again, I'd have found the time SOMEHOW to see him more.

ANd even though I know that truthfully life is damn hectic for everyone, I feel deep down that if he can't make a little bit of time for me at the beginning, then whats he going to be like 5 years down the track?? Its a nice feeling to know that fella you've just started seeing has given up surfing 3 mornings in a row to just stay in bed and chat with ya!

But thats a bummer for you gher... especially after getting all your work done! Oh how I wish for someone to do that for me..... !
 
I too am very very back in here... I have a major crush on the bottleshop boy. MAJOR ! Lets just say that my fridge has 6 long necks of beer I have no intention of drinking for a few weeks when uni craziness is over. hah. I dont know how to make a move... any tips ?!
 
^^^

I've never known you not to have the guts to just approach someone!! Find out what he likes to do on weekends, then casually suggest meeting him out somewhere.

(I'd never be able to do it, but hey... listen to my advice anyway ;))

As for me, I'm still here, as always. Some regular sex would go down really well right about now.
 
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