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Bluelight Singles thread "Living without justification" Part 2

^^^ okay, i totally understand your point, but did you read the rest of my post? what i wrote was based only on what littleone had explained, and i was really making a more general comment on the situation (which many others have probably gone through), rather than the specificities of hers :)

and shnouz: that's great! =D
 
Im lost.. I've lost that 'I'm content with how things in my life are and I shall concentrate on myself' feeling. It all happened last Saturday. I was really upset because a lot of things were going wrong so I ended up calling an ex and also met up with him. Then, we end up going back to his place and then he kissed me. I didn't want to go any further because I knew that nothing fruitfull would come of it due to the fact that I lived so far away (the reason why we ended it, in the first place). He also told me about this girl that he met in a club on Friday night and on Sunday he told me that she called him up and stupid me, I told him to go for her.

Well... I've had him on my mind since Saturday night and decided to drive 2 hours to the restaurant that he worked at for dinner with my friends because I just wanted to see him. He then told me that he talked on the phone with the girl till 7 in the morning, when a week ago, he told me that he didn't like talking on the phone.. :(

Why did I get myself into this position again... Depressing... :\
 
I'm done :( I think i am going to be single forever and die old and lonely like i am feeling right now and have been for the past week :(

I don't know hy i keep getting into these relationships that lead nowhere and just date guys that end up hurting me time and time again.

It's really not worth it and i'm sick of going through it.

I think i have yet again lost hope that i will meet that person that i will connect with and that will be my 'other half' (not that i am half a person but that one that will 'complet' me)

*sigh*

done done done. I'm sick of giving my heart away because i'm optimistic enough to think that people won't hurt me because i won't hurt them. That i trust too much. That i see the good in everyone and everything. That i feel if i am open to love it will come.

It hasn't and it won't and i've had enough :( :(
 
^^ The solution? Don't give so much of yourself away.

Seriously, i dunno if it's good or bad but in the past year i have developed a solid ability to keep my emotions in check. I'm not talking about denying my emotions but i feel like any girl i meet has to EARN her right for me to open up to any great degree. This doesn't mean i'm a heartless bastard. I still feel these emotions.

However, nowadays when i feel them strongly it's a very pleasant surprise because i've become used to keeping a level head and not getting too emotionally involved with anyone unless they deserve it. This thread is a great example of what can happen when you get emotionally involved with people who aren't right. Self-pity, despair, depression, a sense of hopelessness, lack of self-esteem.... these are the traits that riddle many of the posts from the people in this thread.

I'm not claiming my mindset is better, however i am claiming that it is more stable. The flip side to this is that i don't often feel these emotional fixes. I cruise along, have fun in the meantime but don't develop these emotional connections and brood over someone i can't have. Think of it like hills and valleys... emotionally you get the beautiful view from the peaks of the hill, then you fall down to the bottom and have to climb all the way back up to the top again. My approach is more like a vast green field with a few small rolling hills, never too high, never too low. One day i'll see that mountain i wanna climb and haul ass to the top!

When you realise that there are soooo many people out there you can meet, you become much more capable of 'nexting' someone who isn't right for you. If they treat you bad? Fuck em. Look at what Shnouzer did. Thats a great example of how to keep your head high and keep your respect. How many of you cling onto whatever you have because you think you might not find someone else? All this does is lower your self-esteem, you are worth more than that - believe it.

Being single shouldn't be being ALONE. Being single means you aren't in a committed long term relationship. Get out there and meet people, play the field, have some fucking fun and enjoy the moments of freedom while they last. Have you ever been so involved in getting to where you are going that you miss on the fun of getting there?

Put yourself in the moment and think about what you DO have, not what you DON'T have.

Life's too short to be negative.

Adikkal
 
onetwothreefour said:
^^^ okay, i totally understand your point, but did you read the rest of my post? what i wrote was based only on what littleone had explained, and i was really making a more general comment on the situation (which many others have probably gone through), rather than the specificities of hers :)
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yeah i know. i just wanna blame him and call him an arsehole and trash him on a forum he doesnt read cos he's a fucker and he hurt my friend.
 
Adikkal - You brought a smile to my face this morning.. Thank you so very much. What you've written is very correct and basically what I used to think before what happened on Saturday and I really needed the reminder. Thank you so very much... :)
 
Adikkal said:
Have you ever been so involved in getting to where you are going that you miss on the fun of getting there?

Put yourself in the moment and think about what you DO have, not what you DON'T have.

Life's too short to be negative.

Adikkal
Click to expand...

awesome thoughts there. ive often got so wrapped up in where i was going i forgot to enjoy getting there :\

right now in my life ive learnt to put ymself number1. ive lacked looking at me first for so long now when it comes to relationships i tend to forget to look after me first.

so its all about me right now!!

*sits at the table and has a coffee and some cake*
 
I play the field and have fun and meet new people all the time. Believe me! It's what causes all my bloody heart ache :(

Fuck it!
 
i have been single for two years.. im lonely , yes.. however i dunno.. sometimes i just couldnt be bothered trying to be with someone you know? So i have developed this new thing where i wont go looking.. I INTEND TO BE FOUND!.. if in not found.. oh well.. im not gonna bother getting myself cut up about it .. you know.. i strongly believe there is someone out there for everyone.. everytime you are hurt or rejected or fucked around with, you are a step closer to finding that person that will connect with you.. thats what its all about.. connection.. without it, you have no relationship.. Its strange.. because ive met people like me .. and they were all guys 8)

We all wish life was easy.. well it isnt.. we all envy those people who are always with someone and who are never lonely.. but they are bound to have other problems that curse them everyday of their lives. Sure its hard.. but love and companionship is like trying to find good acid.. but.. WHEN IT COMES, IT COMES.. Fuck those people that hurt you in the past.. if you are affected by it, they win.. you are better then them.. trust me.. good things do come to those who wait..
 
just thought I would knock this one back to the top and submit my resignation from this thread. im taking it slowly but so far its really great...no dramas, no issues, just a great guy who i get on well with and im learning more about every day =D
 
doofqueen said:
I'm done :( I think i am going to be single forever and die old and lonely like i am feeling right now and have been for the past week :(

I don't know hy i keep getting into these relationships that lead nowhere and just date guys that end up hurting me time and time again.

It's really not worth it and i'm sick of going through it.

I think i have yet again lost hope that i will meet that person that i will connect with and that will be my 'other half' (not that i am half a person but that one that will 'complet' me)

*sigh*

done done done. I'm sick of giving my heart away because i'm optimistic enough to think that people won't hurt me because i won't hurt them. That i trust too much. That i see the good in everyone and everything. That i feel if i am open to love it will come.

It hasn't and it won't and i've had enough :( :(
Click to expand...

Seriously babe, you need to go for different men to what you have been. Become a jaded picky bitch like me... i dont get any crap anymore because i wont tolerate it. Yes i am single, but i choose to be until someone decent comes along. And because of my attitude (the dont give a fuck attitude that is) i get seem to get plenty of offers now. Unfortunately none of them reach my standards, but that is because i still have some kind of wall up i believe. People have to really prove themselves now for me to give them a chance. They dont have to.. but if they want me they do. I dont mean to be like this.... just my history of men have made me become like this. And to be honest, i like it. Its good to know i have toughened up and wont put myself through anything like i have in the past again. Goodbye to misery i say!

And dont ever go for a guy who tells you he feels bad for being with you again you hear! You are much better than that!!
 
Both really. I cant be with someone who i dont find attractive, but i also cant be with someone who i find a complete moron either. But they dont have to be a super model or anything. I have been out with some real pretty boys, so sure they looked good but some of them were very arrogant and mean. So a bit of both.
 
Chik. said:
Seriously babe, you need to go for different men to what you have been. Become a jaded picky bitch like me... i dont get any crap anymore because i wont tolerate it. Yes i am single, but i choose to be until someone decent comes along. And because of my attitude (the dont give a fuck attitude that is) i get seem to get plenty of offers now. Unfortunately none of them reach my standards, but that is because i still have some kind of wall up i believe. People have to really prove themselves now for me to give them a chance. They dont have to.. but if they want me they do. I dont mean to be like this.... just my history of men have made me become like this. And to be honest, i like it. Its good to know i have toughened up and wont put myself through anything like i have in the past again. Goodbye to misery i say!

And dont ever go for a guy who tells you he feels bad for being with you again you hear! You are much better than that!!
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well said!
 
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