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Bluelight Singles thread "Living without justification" Part 2

i don't think the reality of the situations here is always being considered. regarding littleone's situation: she comes across here as being pretty intelligent, and is fucking hot, but a guy is acting like a cunt to her. i realise that we all - to an extent - have some sense of vested interest in littleone's feelings here, but i wonder if we're being too cautious?

i just feel that because somebody has treated her badly doesn't mean that they must be stupid/jealous/regretting the decision or anything. of course it's possible, even likely. but human emotions and actions aren't quite that simplistic: we all act irrationally at the best of times, and when things like love and lust get in the way, things get even more topsy-turvy (heh, i love those words).

my point, i think (;)), is just that sometimes shit happens, and it's not always intended. i fully agree that littleone has had the bad end of the situation, but i also wonder if it's always so necessary to place blame? i am rather insecure myself, and i realise that it leads to a lot of my own faults in relating to girls, so perhaps that's why i'm suggesting this, but i certainly wonder if people always deserve such excessive blame for doing something that we all have probably done at some stage? don't we all hurt the ones we love?
 
aw, i swear this thread is just my life on repeat, truman show-styleee.

anyway, bunny: that's terrible. it's sad to read such an honest post, and though i've only met you once - and briefly - you seem like the kind of guy who always means what he says. whether gg made the 'right' decision or not i don't know, but i hope that whatever's best ends up eventuating. sometimes love needs to make sacrifices, and that might include friends. i think a true friend would allow someone to do that if it was truly what they wanted. if that makes sense? :)

and doofqueen: know that feeling. just let it heal over. i think that if somebody's lying at the beginning of a relationship, it's just a terrible sign. my ex-girlfriend did that, and she turned out to be a compulsive liar. yay for two years of my life gone :p

it's best if you find someone who really respects you; even it takes years to find, it's better than being hurt (in some ways).

and littleone: just one more thing; despite my saying that i wonder if the guy was actually worth totally blaming just above, that doesn't mean that i think you should be disempowered. if somebody treats you like shit, whatever the reason, you have every right to leave them behind. sometimes circumstances permit a more affable break-up or even a solution to the problems, but most times it just isn't possible.

i wonder if he should be blamed so much, but at no stage do i think that you would be doing the wrong thing by cutting off contact. in situations like that, we often have to do what's best for us, or it just turns to insanity.
 
i definitely think that in most cases, when it comes to personal relationships, it is rarely a simple as right and wrong, because all actions cause reactions, and though some of these actions might be seemingly passive, they can still cause quite significant and or volatile reactions.

I want to put a situation up, and like most hypothetical situations, it actually does resemble something i've come across, this particular example, when I was faced with it, per se, definitely gave me a lot to think about.

Ok.

first, the facts, prima facie. A couple, have been together 5 years, live together, are seemingly happy. The guy cheats on the girl, with a series of different partners, never consistently the same one, and the girl finds out, they then break up.


Ok...at first glance I'm sure it seems like the guy has done the wrong thing. And the girl is the innocent party.


What then if I added to the fact that due to emotional issues of her own, the girl had been holding out on sex, despite the guys advances, for a large proportion of the time during the past 1.5 years of their relationship. She constantly denied him pleasure and the pleasure of pleasuring her, and used this leverage as emotional blackmail to assert power over him.

The guy had only been cheating for the past 6 months, and still maintained all other aspects of treating his girlfriend properly.

See - to me, examples like this, and I realise not everything DOES have this many layers, but if often does, reassert to me the complexity that is humanity.

I feel in this case, both parties would be equally responsible, though just because society has taught us that monogamy is the only way to have a meaningful relationship, that the guy's dishonesty and adultery in the relationship would seem infintely worse to onlookers.

I guess, the point of this rather pointless post :\ is partly my take on what 1234 posted, and also to present another point i've been dwellling on quite frequently because of various situations my friend's and i have been in.

anyway...respond at will, if you even want to :)

thanks for reading my pseudo philosophising :D
 
Bunny - dude, my bestfriends girl is just like that. She broke up with her bf (one of our mutual friends) and the next day my best friends gf is getting wierd and detached. Pfft... some girls man, who knows what they think.

Doesnt mean to say I dont love girls though. How can we resist them :)

Signat
 
I just got an SMS from the guy I have a crush on saying hes too busy at work to have drinks tonite :(

The guy works 9-5 how can he be busy at work toinite? I think he may be pissed off cause I said his car looked like a Barina. Aparently it was some european fancy car. I know shit about cars.

Hugs to all the people with broken hearts in this thread.
 
kazza_baby said:
yup i'm single now.. again..
sarah left me and went back to her ex boy..
Click to expand...

:(


but also

wooohoooo

So...want a cosmopolitan on friday? ;)


Seriously though, that sucks. You seemed so happy for her. Oh well, you're a wonderful girl and won't be single for long!
 
Zandesh said:
:(


but also

wooohoooo

So...want a cosmopolitan on friday? ;)


Seriously though, that sucks. You seemed so happy for her. Oh well, you're a wonderful girl and won't be single for long!
Click to expand...

i know.. i really liked her :(

p.s.
feel free to buy me drinks :P
i promise to eat something that day so i won't throw up!

and smart-e i second the hugs idea!
 
Yeah, Heartbreaks' always a really fucked up situation. I've been there done that quite a few times in the past 2-3 months...
 
On the whole I thought I enjoyed being single... but not lately. Really miss not having someone to share *everything* with. Hate listening to really cool, heartfelt songs, and not having someone to think about!
Would love a hug or ten too!!! :(
 
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