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Bluelight Singles thread "Living without justification" Part 2

Well, my confidence is back baby!

After a brief stint of apathy i feel like i'm back in the zone. Building someone up in your head and imagining what things COULD be like or what MIGHT happen can create havoc in your mind. I've been reading this spirituality book "Practicing the Power of Now" and it's been a good perspective shift. I often think and analyse too much - become too involved with my own mind. I need to step back and just OBSERVE my own thoughts now and then without being controlled by them

You are not your mind.

Here's some discussion material for you though.

In my experience, if you like someone, they usually fall into one of 3 categories

FUN

These type of people are the ones who you always have a great time with. Things are always light and playful and you tend to make the best of every situation. They are the person you love to have around if you're out. It is usually pretty flirty aswell and subtley sexual however the main premise is playful fun.

SEXUAL

I'm sure you know these ones. The ones with whom you can FEEL that intense sexual connection no matter what. It translates thru your body langueg, eye contact and the flirting is really intense. Often you don't have anything in common with them and you may get on each others nerves, but that sexual vibe is just intense.

DEEP

These are the people that challenge you mentally. The ones who make you think and can hold long and insightful discussions about many topics. They give you a mental workout and you often delve deeply into subjects. Theres a definite strong connection that emerges out of these discussions however it isn't nearly as sexual.

Obviously the categories aren't exclusive and some people will cross over. These people who crossover between all 3 are the SPECIAL ONES. When you find someone who you get along with on all 3 levels - they are relationship material.

I believe that these three main categories will determine what sort of relationship you have with the person. Fun can often be teasing/flirting without anything further tho you both have a great time. Sexual is obvious. Deep usually shows that a LTR is possible, as you get along mentally - however, if the other two categories aren't touched then deep often turns into simply a friend.

Your thoughts? Experiences?

Adikkal
 
i agree vaguely with your three types....my problemo is that i know someone who full well fits all criteria

1. we have awesome times together when we're out...we both like experimenting with drugs and drinking a lot too, and we just generally have the same attitude towards people

2. our relationship from the start was always inherently sexual....we flirted excessively....slept together like the third time we saw each other...and knew it was on the cards from the first :D even now....after knowing each other for several months...you would think that the passion would have died down...but we are always all over each other :\

3. this guy is one of the people closest to me in personality i have ever met...i'm not going to bandy around terms like soulmate et al, but we have similar outlooks on most things, and those we don't , we have a lot of time to listen to each others' views on them....we both write so are quite introspective and have lengthy discussions about a range of topics...both seriously and lighthearted.


my point is. he is my fuckbuddy...and a good friend. ok.....certain circumstances (he is a man whore, has a g/f and many other hoes....oh dear it sounds so tawdry :() mean that i obviously don't ever think of us in terms of dating, or a future - though he constatnly intimates he wants us to get married when we're 30. heh.


but even without these external circumstances.....i dunno....i don't know if i could see myself with him. probably because he is such a slut. and maybe i'm just used to thinking of him as unattainable.

anyway...i feel like a bit of a tramp after that writing that down...:\

um. yeah...i might explain more about it later...it's kinda complex :\
 
my ex of a few weeks proceeded to come online and chat for a bit then say "hey im sending u some photos of my weekend!" and send me all these pics of himself with his arms around all these hotter chicks then me. cruel motherfucker.

any guys care to explain why he would bother doing that when he is the one who dumped ME?

so needless to say i had to lie about how i was seeing some new guy. to regain a false sense of power.
 
So he could justify that leaving you was the best thing to do, which obviously to a guy like him means getting your picture taken next to hot chicks to make it appear like he can pull off dating a hot girl in such a short span of time

Did that make sense?
 
Littleone, some people are just fucking nasty. If i were you i would cut off all contact with him. You should know that contact so soon after a break up is usually going to lead to more problems. He sounds like a wanker, and isn't worth your time. The sooner you realise this the more better off you will be, trust me.

And for the record, i very highly doubt the girls were better looking than you. You are a very attractive girl, and you are letting him win by thinking like that. That is just him getting to you ... dont let him do that! Some people just like to go out of their way to make people sad. You seem like a very sweet girl and it would be a shame to let a person like him upset you. The best solution, is to delete him from MSN and delete his numbers. Its hard, but if he is going to be like that it is for your own good. Trust me, i have been treated very much the same. This solution worked good for me.
 
littleone said:
my ex of a few weeks proceeded to come online and chat for a bit then say "hey im sending u some photos of my weekend!" and send me all these pics of himself with his arms around all these hotter chicks then me. cruel motherfucker.

any guys care to explain why he would bother doing that when he is the one who dumped ME?

so needless to say i had to lie about how i was seeing some new guy. to regain a false sense of power.
Click to expand...

He's an asshole, that doesn't appreciate what women can do for men.


(if that made any sense)
 
Chik. said:
Littleone.... i very highly doubt the girls were better looking than you. You are a very attractive girl, and you are letting him win by thinking like that.
Click to expand...

chik's right- i've seen the photo girl, littleone's definately hotter.

my theory is he's a fucker. he's ended it and is now regretting it and wishing he could have spent the time before he leaves the country with her but wouldnt ever admit that so he's showing off how cool his life is to make himself feel better about not having her anymore. also he's a fucker.
 
Mary Poppins said:
i agree vaguely with your three types....my problemo is that i know someone who full well fits all criteria...

my point is. he is my fuckbuddy...and a good friend. ok.....certain circumstances (he is a man whore, has a g/f and many other hoes....oh dear it sounds so tawdry :() mean that i obviously don't ever think of us in terms of dating, or a future - though he constatnly intimates he wants us to get married when we're 30. heh.

but even without these external circumstances.....i dunno....i don't know if i could see myself with him. probably because he is such a slut. and maybe i'm just used to thinking of him as unattainable.

anyway...i feel like a bit of a tramp after that writing that down...:\

um. yeah...i might explain more about it later...it's kinda complex :\
Click to expand...

Keep smiling. That doesn't sound bad - it just sounds like a difficult situation that you shouldn't let your emotions into too much or rely on too heavily. He does sound like an absolute player so be careful :)
 
thanks for the comments guys
yeah he can be quite hurtful.. but ive always thought he did it accidentally because he just didnt realise. im not sure.

i will cut of contact.. but it just hard trying to coz hes still the person i want to accidentally run into.. or the person i think about when im buying new clothes and think "ooh i wish he could see me in this"

im glad your situation worked out chik :)

i'll get there eventually. wasnt a super long term relationship or anything.
 
^ He's just trying to make you jealous - and if he is trying to make you jealous he obviously still cares what you think! That being said, people who act like that have very small lives and it sounds like you're definitely better off without him. :)

I deserve to be in here even though I'm kinda not really. I'm the worst girlfriend - not that he's a model boyfriend. We deserve each other in the worst possible way.
 
Well kids Im back here again............

It seems GlowGurlz isnt allowed to be happy unless the best friend is.

My heart goes out to my baby GG, as I know as soon as this friend becomes attached she will get shafted and possibly realise she threw away something really fantastic between us just to keep her friend happy, but I wont let my heart get dragged through the blender again.

Sorry GlowGurlz, you say there is nothing to discuss so hopefully you will read this.

Listen to your heart and not someone else!

You can't tell someone you love them and break up with them two days later without having actually felt something special. I hope you realise this and that a partner should be a part fo the journey we call life and not a ball and chain on your travel plans. I dont believe after all we spoke about late into the night about the future and what we wanted that you just changed your mind over night. I believe the one person you look up to and the one person you think has your best interests at heart is only being selfish at your expense, and everyone can see it except you.

My dearest GG... I honestly wish, with all my heart, all the best in whatever your future will bring. I hope if you meet someone else in the future that this saga in your life has moved on and you can fall for someone without worry, without fear and without concern that you are doing the right or wrong thing.

I just wish you could realise that with me.

Follow your heart baby girl and it will be the right decison for you.

XXXXXXXXXXX Bunny
 
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Well i really fucked up with my boy. I started gtting insecure and jeolous from an incident. Got really upset when i saw him where he should have been somewhere else. Had a big fight in the street with him. Went home and got drunk and cried all day and sent abuses messages out that made me look like a psycho bitch :(

I sent him a sorry sms and 'we need to talk' but havny heard from him and i don't know if i will anyway.

I really hate that i saw where this could have gone (and it did ie my heart being broken) and went with it anyway.

I'm never dating again. I'm so over being hurt.

He didn't want to give me what i wanted anyway and i really should have not taken what he did :(
 
im so happy for you bella :) im glad people can find love. and *hugs* to the blewflarfybunny. sounds like its all a bit painful hun.

cross your fingers for me...i could be on the way down the escalator from single land to relationship street. but it will be a slow descent.
 
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