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Bluelight Singles thread "Living without justification" Part 2

muzby said:
slap me....

i slept with my ex last nite.... :(


it all started out so innocently.... it was only going to be coffee......
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Goddamnit!! Have I taught you nothing???

Oh wait..... I mean.... Stop doing what I do!! If I'm not gonna learn from my mistakes someone else may as well!!
 
pffft. standards are too high these days, relationships are treated like technology. we've got to have the latest and greatest, the shiny and new.

yeah i'm drunk...and jaded
 
silvia saint said:
pffft. standards are too high these days, relationships are treated like technology. we've got to have the latest and greatest, the shiny and new.

yeah i'm drunk...and jaded
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I'm not Upgrading any time soon. I'm sticking to the low-tech hassle free pen and paper *insert dirty joke here* existance for a while.

You're not the only one who's drunk and jaded. ;)
 
ah, it wasn't flirting it was supposed to be more but HELLO WHERE THE FUCK HAS SHE GONE NOW.

i'm not bitter i swear it :p

i think my problem is that i don't give much middle ground - i tend to put myself right out there rather embarrasingly, or remain really timid. perhaps i give mixed messages too, but i really thought that i'd made things clear here (and i thought she'd done the same). i don't know...i guess that's what you get if you're attracted to strange and not-particularly-stable girls.

shnouzer: hope things aren't so bad on your front :\
 
no they ~were~ very confusing on my front, but just figured out the reason why from a txt msg...

She is keeping her young cousin company in the hospital for the final days before she succumbs to leukemia.

Now don't I feel like a bastard for getting all prissy. Sure am glad I was quiet about it.


Want to give some more info on your situation 1234? I cannot possibly claim to help, but some of the other strange and unstable girls on this board might be able to give you "insider knowledge" of the inner workings of the bizarre female psyche.

:D
 
hmmm unstable me?? hmm no.... player?? yes... but why would any girl want to play around and hurt u brad.. just look at you.. or get to know you.. your wonderfull... *slaps the girls that is playing 1234 and yells wake up to urself biatch*
 
well, that ain't too bad (er, sorta) shnouz. at least you know she's still keen. and the added bonus is that she's obviously a nice, compassionate girl too :)

hmm, what to say...

i have been previously interested (in fact i think she even warranted a mention somewhere back in this thread) in the girl i'm talking about, but circumstances prevented things. i *am* reliably informed that there's definitely reciprocal interest, it just seems to be the fine details that are the trouble.

i swear everytime i try to show some semblance of interest i'm given the cold shoulder, but then everytime she shows interest it's at totally inopportune moments. possibly spending all of earthcore with her and her rather frightening older sister (+ friends) didn't help. nor did being rather mashed. but she seemed to take things well....just kept being interupted by "circumstance" (again) at all the wrong times.

now i'm getting the cold shoulder via sms though...and i'm just ... kinda ... waiting to hear back. i dunno. it's confusing. she's an unusual girl (very) which is probably what attracts me, and she's on anti-depressants so i guess i have to expect hot and cold, mood swings etc., but i'm so far out of the dating game (being so fussy that i've barely been interested in anyone over the last couple of years - yay for my libido ;)) that it's all seeming so foreign to me atm.

i don't seem to pick good girls to fall for :)
 
note: Anti Depressants do not make you moody or allow you to be moody. They make you perfectly balanced which is the beauty of them. However, on an aside, it's actually fucking annoying being happy all the time. You know, it's actually impossible to cry - you're left in that inbetween state where you want to and can't and god it's frustrating.

This thread has got me thinking:

I'm currently running through my options. So far I've got

old lady with cats...

but I really like crosswords, they're my new favourite thing, so really I want a boy to lie around and do crosswords with but I don't think that's going to happen so I'm going for

old lady with cats who is a crossword ace.

Old lady with fish - everyone knows I'm partial to fish - I'm thinking fresh water aquarium - the fish are so *pretty* and you have to research which fish is compatible with which fish so they don't feast on each other...

However I currently have a box of krispy creme doughnuts so like fuck I need anything else. Maybe...I've got it, I'll relocate to Sydney for the aforementioned doughnuts....

choices, choices...

Yeah Addikal I agree with the whole SCP thing. But you've put a negative spin on a concept that could be positive. SCPs could be wonderful and I don't neccessarily think that "the one" would be better. I believe people use the term "the one" as a glorified term for SCPs because it's what they want to believe although in thruth everyone is compatible with many people and it is all about circumstance.

Sugar highs are wonderful things.
 
Originally posted by Adikkal
After sharing a mutually cynical view of the world the other nite in a chat with Up All Night, it has been determined that there is no 'one', there is no 'soulmate' or 'kindred spirit' simply Sufficient Circumstantial Partners or SCP's (patent pending). Marriage is just an SCP with obligation. Fuck buddies are just SCP's for sex. There is no 'one', there is just one of many. They are the 'one' within your surroundings and circumstance, that is all.

Discuss.

Adikkal


The more I think about this SCP thing the more convinced I am that this is the case. I don't think it is necessarily trivialising the connection you can have with someone but rather acknowledging the transient and fickle nature of most people's emotions. It's almost like if we were to stick with one person throughout our lives we would be resisting change within ourselves or ensuring the changes we do make in our lives are compatible with those of our partner.

And that's fucked quite frankly.

Maybe I'm just too selfish or maybe I'm just a product of a generation which is almost too obsessed with reaching their 'full potential' at the cost of everything else in their lives. This isn't the 50s anymore. The most important acheivement we make is not the marriage and the kids. It makes sense that with the declining importance of marriage comes a declining interest in forcing a long term relationship to work.

That being said, we'll probably hit 70 and be alone in our hostel with no family and think, 'hhhmmmm I kinda wish I'd placed a greater importance on finding a relationship that was going to last through the years.'

Originally posted by silvia saint
pffft. standards are too high these days, relationships are treated like technology. we've got to have the latest and greatest, the shiny and new.


I don't think so. In my case it's definitely a matter of better the devil you know. I don't like things that are shiny and new and I hate technology. Give me my old Nokia with no fancy features and give me a boy whose faults I'm well aware of.
 
Further to 1234's comments....

I heard Chin Ning Chu the Chinese business woman and development speaker give a talk the other day, and she mentioned Sun-Tzyu’s old adage ‘Win first, then fight’.

Basically it means to be successful; you need to have the battle won already before you enter into it.

Chin adapted this in her talk to cover the topic of relationships, and she pointed out that whenever you chase after a girl with some kind of rabid determination, you always end up losing her and copping the cold shoulder. On the other hand, if you play it cool, maybe even a little cold yourself.. you always seem to come out on top with her (sexual pun not intended).

And that’s the essence of ‘win first, then fight’. If you keep completely level headed and don’t place any over emphasis on the outcome of such things then essentially you’ve won the courting battle before it’s even begun. If on the other hand you spend your days fretting or trying to second guess how she thinks or what she’s doing, you’ve ceded the emotional and mental battle right then and there, she’ll recognise it and disrespect you for it and the fight will be over.

The more I think about this the more convinced I am that this is the case. I’m sure we can all think of people in our lives and even situations ourselves where the person who’s treated us the most mean has kept us the most keen, and vice versa. Really great people who were overly-smothering we turned cold on in an instant.

It might be counter-intuitive, but when a friendship/relationship is in it’s earliest of embryonic stages I think showing interest can be the worst move you can possibly make. I think reciprocating interest (very sparingly) works the best, and never ever make the first “I’m interested” move, but always be sure to make the last…

Don’t ask a girl out, wait for her to ask you to ask her out. It *can* work like that. And when it does Sun Tzyu suddenly seems to make a whole lot more sense.

And whether you feel excited or nervous or fretful or completely ambivalent about a person is completely besides the point. It's how you supress those feelings, those natural urges and behave in front of and towards that person that will ultimately win or lose you the day.

So does this ring a cord with anyone? Or have I just taken the enigmatic, nebulous and intangible process of romance and dating and crudely broken it down into a series of pre definable steps and predictable outcomes?

To what extent does this mirror all our human natures? Or are the variables between any two given people so great that it’s always and totally going to depend on those two unique individuals and the impossible to predict manner in which they interact?

I think to greater or lesser extent this applies to most people in most circumstances. And that you can learn the rules and break the game to your favour.
 
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onetwothreefour said:
i hate girls and mixed messages. i am in an utter state of confusion right now :(:\
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I hate guys and mixed messages :p

In other news, I really need someone to sleep with...thats all :|
 
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