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Bluelight Singles thread "Living without justification" Part 2

hehehe....you kids am teh funny :)

One of my friends has just come out of a 2.5 year relationship, and he is hanging for a boyfriend....at first I thought it was something I couldn't at all relate to, until I remembered that it wasn't all that long ago I was the guy who'd become newly single and had to try and be happy in his own skin when all he felt like was he'd been rejected completely and was worth nothing.

It's hard because you spend so long seeing yourself as part of a couple and then suddenly you're not a couple anymore, and every movie we see and every song we hear tells us that being alone is a terrible terrible thing.

Well guess what? It isn't. I have never had more self-respect than I do when I'm alone. My friends fill my emotional needs, I pick up to fulfill my sexual needs. But I live on my terms, and do what I want to do when I want to do it, and I don't feel like there's someone I need to justify that to.

To be honest, there are a few scared-of-relationships issues I need to work on, but fuck it, who doesn't have issues? Mine don't stop me from being happy 99% of the time, so I don't have that much of a problem with it.

YAY for single, I say... =D
 
*sigh* I'm dishing out relationship advice to a friend. Nice to know past experiences and relationships, be it good or bad can be of some use to me these day. Well more like some use to my friend.

Live and learn
 
I'm crazy about this female and I don't know how to tell her, or if it's reciprocol. I just know in the color of a portraiot world, it works, its well. I just want to sleep next to her, and wake up in the morning, early, and not have the feeling of loneliness, but i cant help being scared.... life is made up with everything your use too...
 
Yeah. Nothing comes without risk. Risk is what makes things work. I'm risking it. The extreme, the edge, if it works it will be extremely, impilsove, exciting. If it fails, then simply The confusion sets in and the angel closes her eyes...

It's all these feelings that continue to keep coming back again... What has to be done, can be done, what is the worse that can happen? Your life crashes a little, as it does everyday. Just another moment your waiting for.

I'm trying it... lets see how it goes...

shals :D
 
I don't think failure is the worst thing about situations like that. For me the worst thing is the loss of the possiblity. If you don't do/ say anything then the possibility of something happening is still there and is something fun to think about it. If you crash and burn you lose that cute little crush which was making you smile. I'm one of those 'ohhh lets just wait and see' type people.

hehe I'm such a chicken though.
 
So so true Yarns!

Just depends on the risk u want to take. You have something in a way, the cuteness, the uncertainty, the tainted love, it's nice. It's nice to fall for that someone and hide it away and wonder what could be... but then I think, would could be missed out? It's seriously a catch 22! - :D

Risk, uncertainity is scary. You play the hand you were dealt. You might not win the game, but at least you played a hand right?

Just guess it depends what you "ultimately" want and "ultimately" desire in the end, again, desires can be the best and worst enemy of any human.

I guess inside yourself you know hope you know what your doing is right. Only factor is that nothings for certain, but nothing comes without some risk :) - You need to weigh up whats most important...

It's scary I know! ! ! :)

shals!
 
^^^ Exactly...

Theres nothing better than having feelings for someone and persuing it and feeling it grow into something strong and falling into a relationship. You never know, you just might find your soulmate but you will never know if you never go :)

Loves a game. Play its as much as you can :) (not in THAT way dammit before some of you start picking at me)
 
Life is a game. It is, really, relationships, its just a small part of the game, some people are better players then others, some peopel have better techniques, others know cracks and cheats to get move around more freely, and some, well some are simply just shot dead, others, they dont even start, they are just ended to begin with... think yourself lucky if you've made it to this level, but keep playing, every game has cracks, every game can be broken....

Lifes a game, master it and live, play it occasional, dont think about it, dont you win, your loose, forget about it completely and you die...

lifes a game...

shals :D
 
^^I'd rather keep fucking up and repeating the same small steps I already know so well. Alien territory is frightening. I don't like frightening.

Somewhat similar to up_all_night's theory of 'wait and see', except im more of a coward
 
Yeah man, fucking up is what teaches us not to fuck up :D

shals! - Good lesson!
 
Wow. I simply failed all five.

Game over! Don't move forward, don't collect $5 dollars!

shals :D

I'm not sure if theres a women for me. Doubt is looming. If anyone finds her, can u email her my way? ... lost between a painted sky... be my artist!
 
Well, people are different. Some will take more chances, others will find solace in entertaining possibilities about 'what could've' happened. Sometimes its nicer to play those things out in our mind than actually risk crushing a fantasy.

I agree that its an amazing feeling when an emotional attraction develops over time. Basically, if you have a strong emotional attachment to someone on a friendship level and that starts to gradually manifest into a more intimate relationship - it feels more valuable. Each little step along the way, a moment of deep connection, the increased physical contact... all these things that when deep emotions aren't involved, seem much less important.

Yes, this feeling is a good one.
..
.
However,
Your state of mind at this time becomes increasingly devoid of logic. Emotions take control of your decision making process and often, you make foolish choices. Living compelled by the force of emotion is such a polarised experience. The Ups are blissful, the Downs are dreadful.
It is usually because of this strong contrast that people will continue to live in this way. Even when a 'crush' starts to more accurately represent the affect this attraction is having on you, people will say

"The good times are worth it"

I've been through this experience and though i realise i made many mistakes, i still feel this sentiment is true. But now, i restrict myself from getting too emotionally involved in the initial stages of a relationship. Emotion clouds logic and more often causes you to make careless decisions which you may live to regret. Too often emotion can take away your control. I feel its best to at least recognise that to a certain degree, we can control our emotions.

Adikkal
 
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