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Bluelight Singles thread "Living without justification" Part 2

I 100% agree with star. With all my female friends who have cheated it has been an attention seeking thing and they have almost wanted their boys to find out in an effort to gain the attention they want. With my male friends its usually because they are getting bored or falling into a 'married' type pattern and arent getting any. And when they all tell me they love their respective partners I believe them.

I dont think I explained that very well but you know what I mean.
 
Sometimes i like to think of sex as being separate from love.

...


and sometimes i dont..



but i could never see myself cheating


ive been single for ages now so havnt really been put in that situation :\
 
'lil leecie said:
...we have concluded that everyone is susceptible to cheating. Humans arent conditioned to only have one partner for a lifetime and, regardless of male or female, its gonna happen. You can be as madly in love as you can possibly be with someone but sexual chemistry and sexual energy and raw emotion has the power to override even the sanest of humans.
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...hmmm...

so youre saying that if you are madily in love with your other half and suddenly have sexual desires of someone else that it is ok to act on them just because they are strong emotions and feelings reguardsless of if you are in a relationship or not?

i use to think that there is "the one" out there for me...but now when i look at it more and more, i dont think humans are meant to just have "the one". one day i hope to settle down with someone, but right now i dont feel like i could solely commit myself to just one person. not unless they were super human or ultra specail or something.

ive been cheated on before, been in open relationships to...and i find that if someone is going to "stray" then there is nothing you can do to stop that. if its such a raw and powerfull emotion as you say then why try to keep it under a lid.

*drinks a beer*
 
It's a hard one, that's for sure. I think that you can be in love with someone but still find yourself sexually attracted to another person. However, the fact you have committed yourself to a relationship with your partner means you should ignore those urges because the emotional connection you have with your partner is so much more important than just sex.

If I found myself emotionally connected to someone else... well... I don't think it would necessarily mean the demise of my relationship however there would probably be something in my relationship that I would need to address.

Either way, I would never cheat. It's too underhanded and aside from the fact my partner would probably break up with me over it I don't think I could ever forgive myself.

If someone cheated on me, under certain circumstances there are times when I wouldn't break up with them. If it was a one night stand then I'd actually probably forgive them even though it would be hard to rebuild the trust. If it was an ongoing thing... no way. Would never be able to feel safe within the relationship again and eventually staying with the person would just completely erode my self esteem.
 
'lil leecie said:
I 100% agree with star. With all my female friends who have cheated it has been an attention seeking thing and they have almost wanted their boys to find out in an effort to gain the attention they want. With my male friends its usually because they are getting bored or falling into a 'married' type pattern and arent getting any. And when they all tell me they love their respective partners I believe them.

I dont think I explained that very well but you know what I mean.
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I know what you mean and i think I think Shirley Manson (Garbage) did too...

You pretend you’re high
You pretend you’re bored
You pretend you’re anything
Just to be adored
And what you need
Is what you get

Don’t believe in fear
Don’t believe in faith
Don’t believe in anything
That you can’t break

"Stupid Girl"

( http://www.lyricsfreak.com/g/garbage/57904.html )
 
I think that suggesting that women only cheat because they want attention from their partners is bigotry. To me it sounds like you are suggesting that womens sexual desires could only lie with their partner and that those desires are controllable.

I cant see how womens needs are any different to a mans, and consequently don't think that they cheat for different reasons.

I have thought about cheating and it was because I wasn't getting enough sex. It was completely a physical need that I wanted to fill, and I have spoken withother females who have expressed the same.

I find it insulting to suggest that women only cheat to get attention from their partner. If I cheated it would be because I wanted to get laid. Pure physical forfilling sex is sometimes hard to get from someone that you entagled with emotionally , and I can understand the need to sleep with someone else (very very occassionally) who doesnt have that connection with you. The sex is something else and can be much more phsically forfilling.


Edit to add: This sounds much more agressive than what it is meant to. I know I should change the wording, but I cant be fucked. It cus im too bloody hung over. But like Star's mine is just opinion obviously as well. I dont think what I am saying is any more right than Star's. Hmm ok Ill stop now.
 
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"im a gluton for setting myself up for a fall

bloody sexy engwish backpackers"

Oh no not again Magpi. You and I should compare stories.

Why does that accent have to be so darn sexy? why do you believe them when they say they will come and visit again? why do I keep falling for them again and again even when I know they will inevitably leave?

bloody Backpackers

*hugs to Magpi*
 
Right it's on.

Tomorrow I call in a mutual friend to get a girls number who I met tonight. I don't know whatsoever if I am in. I don't know anything really.
I know she seemed friendly and cute.

I know that tomorrow I am getting her number, sending her an SMS and seeing of she wants to go out for a drink somewhere.

It could fall to pieces. I might not get a reply. I might get a "Sorry, I have a boyfriend" reply...

But who cares.

I ~might~ get a "Sure, sounds ace!" reply, and at the very least she will be flattered and I will not be left wondering.

This will take place tomorrow so I will let my single brethren know the results as to whether I am in, out, humiliated or elated.

wish the shnouzer luck thoughts.
 
^ I concour with OB... Hahaha...
I dunno, I give up, One minute you hate being single, then you're in a relationship for 12 months and you want to get out... Now I say fuck it... Fuck it all... And then some more...
 
Shnouzer, i wish you luck but would suggest that in the future make sure that YOU get the number off her. Not via some 3rd party cos it can kinda give off a bit of a 'stalker' vibe. But i trust that you wouldn't be goin for it unless you thought she was relatively interested, so...

Good luck!

Adikkal
 
So i leave australia in a month, leaving behind the best relationship ive ever had. Its going to be very very bizarre being on my own again and not having broken up for break up reasons.

Anyone else been in that situation, they have been with someone and then gone overseas, moved away etc? We both want to re-connect when i get back or if he comes over etc, but obviously wont be committed as such, its too long a time for that.

So, anyone got any stories?
 
Oceanboy said:
True PLUR is Eternal. 8)
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No fucken way!! Mad props, OB is back. Where is Pleo? Is he single. These two should be set up!

old skool styleeeeees!

erm.... to add.

I've cheated on girls I haven't loved, I don't think I could cheat on a girl I do love.
 
I have.. There's one ex boyfriend of mine, we've always had a strong connection, from since the first time we've met. Funny enough, at that time, I was trying to hook him with my friend at that time. He never did end up liking her, after all my efforts but all my efforts also led me to getting to know him better and since we had mutual friends, we were always around each other. Although we both acknowledge that we liked each other, we never did get together because he was a fair bit older than I was and at that time, all everyone thought was that he wanted to take advantage of me (I found this out years later).

We hooked up right before I left for Perth but the distance tore us apart. Each holiday I went back, things will re-kindle and everything felt right except that not long later, I'd have to leave again and a cycle happens. :\ We had many repeats of that happening, and everytime we were right next to each other, it was just bliss. If I was to compare all my relationships to what we had, I think that what we had would have been near perfection, except for the fact that I'm too far away.

We're still close friends, when we talk on the phone, even after months of not speaking to one another, its like nothing's changed. I don't think that I'm going back anytime soon and he can't leave there because he has a family business to run, so we've both decided to let it go and just stay good friends...
 
Mr Horse, I'm not surprised that you cheat, you man-slut you. ;)

Oceanboy and Pleo, plur-love eternal, man they would make the most twisted babies ever. I think Dexiester, the bluelight love robot, should hook those two up with a 99% love match.

As for me, I'm single, non-cheating but currently non-loving as well.
 
I think me and navy boy are having issues :(

Looks like im back in this thread again. Single again.
 
Taliana said:
So i leave australia in a month, leaving behind the best relationship ive ever had. Its going to be very very bizarre being on my own again and not having broken up for break up reasons.

Anyone else been in that situation, they have been with someone and then gone overseas, moved away etc? We both want to re-connect when i get back or if he comes over etc, but obviously wont be committed as such, its too long a time for that.

So, anyone got any stories?
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Yeah a friend of mine wrote a song about it! (Empty Texas by Full Scale).
 
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