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Bluelight Singles - from begining to end! don't we love the merge feature!

Apples is right: she is very socially confident....very happy and smiley and able to talk to anyone and everyone.

I met her and she rocks, so get up to Sydney and take her away from all this! :D

(you know my bank acc# Apples?... just the usual thanks..)
 
candyflip said:
I met her and she rocks, so get up to Sydney and take her away from all this! :D
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take your own advice ;)

Originally posted by candyflip
miss apple we are both on the very first page,pretty sad huh
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I prefer to see it as confidence (trying to keep it on topic ;) ) in our ability to a) choose the right person and b) to be happy on our own.

.....yeah it's pretty sad :p =D
 
originally posted by vurtomatic::
posters who wanna put in token posts of the "yay i got laid" "yay im leaving" "yay im single and enjoying myself" "boohoo im single and my hand's tired/im outta batteries" can do so in the a/s/l thread.
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8) (not at the above quote)

Anyways back to the self confidence question. Can one draw a connection between marital status and this?..

Well it's a pretty broad term - some people have high levels of self confidence while single, and then low levels of it when they're involved with someone.. and the vice versa. Self-confidence can be explained as "confidence in oneself or one's own abilities" - basically the connection is you. Who makes you confident of yourself? You (in general terms - not pointing at anyone).

i hope i wasn't going off-point :\
 
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froot loopz said:
some people have high levels of self confidence while single, and then low levels of it when they're involved with someone..
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that's so damn true.

maybe that's why I'm scared of not being single. I'm just so much happier within myself.

hmm...
 
Yeah, that pretty much describes how I was feeling in my last relationship... constantly doubting my worth, feeling as if I wasn't good enough, etc.

Outside of a relationship though, I dunno... I don't feel near as bad as I did during it, hence my hesitation to enter into a new one anytime soon..
 
tidygirl: would u really want to date the guy you met while rolling??

*hides*

I met my new man at two tribes guess i neednt talk.

But do remember pills can bring out the best in people. but they are not nessarily like that all the time.
 
nah...

maybe that's why I'm scared of not being single. I'm just so much happier within myself.
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Apples: with the greatest amount of respect for you, I say that's twaddle. If your partners have been making you feel less happy about yourself, then you shouldn't have been with them. Having a partner is about being released to be YOURSELF (whatever that person might be) and that usually includes being happier, not being on-guard all the time and trying to maintain a front of pleasantness.

Love is perhaps the ultimate happiness. I cannot imagine why anyone would knowingly (or unknowingly) enter a relationship to be less happy and I simply don't believe that being by yourself, for your whole life, can possibly make one more happy than in a loving, caring and sharing relationship?

I'm happy when I'm single. But I am NEVER less confident or happy when in a new relatonship. Otherwise, why would anyone even bother doing it? Surely the aim is to be happier and more confident?
 
u dont think u can be happy and confident in a new relationship at all? i think the beginning of a new relationship is the most 'exciting' and fun and im always fairly confident :)
 
doofqueen said:
u dont think u can be happy and confident in a new relationship at all? i think the beginning of a new relationship is the most 'exciting' and fun and im always fairly confident :)
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unless you are used, or you find out somebody is playing psychological games with you.

i have tried all my life to be polite and nice to people, i'm starting to get sick of it. :(

i really want to fall in love and be in a relationship, but i am becoming more and more resigned to my fate of being alone. that is my fate, i have dug my own grave. its not fair.

Cohaa.
 
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babu said:
If there's any sympathy left after Cohaa's turn, can I have some?

;) 8( 8)
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stop picking on me all the time.

i'm not a strong person, i never have been. i am very open and i try my best to be myself, and i don't want to have to toughen up and be somebody i'm not just so i can pretend my life is perfect and i have no problems, and laugh them all away.

i am currently alone in sydney, all by myself. i'm missing my family and friends, i have nobody here to give me a hug or to care about me. its very hard, i've never been in this position before in my life. its getting to me, i don't know how much longer i can take it.

aren't you lucky you have some friends around that will accept you for who you are? i don't. and you continuously pick on me and make me feel like shit even more than i do. stop it!

Cohaa.
 
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^^^ *hugs* u seem so sad :(

well i'll join u in that feeling today *sigh*

i smsed my ex (the one that i thought was my soulmate and we connected really strongly and yada yada yada) to ask him if hes going to eccythump and he smesd me back saying hes broke so no but that he should tell me that he has started seeing someone and it looks like its becoming serious :(

it totally crushed me :(

i know he said not to wait 4 him etc till he sorts his life out but in the back of my mind i still was i guess *sigh*

so apparently im not worth his effort and time but someone else is :(

im hurting all over again now
 
candyflip said:
I cannot imagine why anyone would knowingly (or unknowingly) enter a relationship to be less happy.
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Maybe sometimes people are just sick of being lonely. I know plenty of people who would rather be in a bad relationship then be alone. There are spaces that drugs, rock 'n' roll and late night booty calls just can't fill.

I think the distinction between 'love' and 'relationships' needs to be made. Real love will never make you feel like you're worth less then you are, but a bad relationship can.

Dante: A bad relationship shouldn't turn you off trying to find something better though. And one experience is not yet a pattern. :)


There is hardly any activity, any enterprise, which is started with such tremendous hopes and expectations, and yet which fails so regularly, as love. - Erich Fromm
 
*massive huggz for doofqueen* - remember, there's always firemen ;)

Queen Beat - I know what you mean, I used to be one of those people, but I've held myself back from falling into that trap.
 
happier and happier..

Fair enough, but that's certainly not the case with Miss Apple. She's intelligent, attractive and has loads of friends. There is no good reason for her to enter a relationship that would make her any less happy than she is when single. In fact, the right relationship will make her more happy, which should be the goal. :)
 
thanks haste honey...i might give u a ring again soon ;) and yeah there is always the firman hehehe although seriously speaking tho...i do have to say that im really scared of falling 4 anyone as hard as i did the last one tho
 
Yes I know what you mean - its not easy giving your heart to someone again after its broken.

I've been very wary of giving my 100% since my divorce and losing so much. I think I've been an emmotional cripple since then that has lead to many failed relationships, and unfortunately I've hurt people in the process :(
 
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i have read all the posts of the above people and in a way its heartening and also saddening that many people are in the same boats as i am.

i think i have come to that point where i am sick of being single. looking back, i have had many pretty good looking girlfriends, but at the end of the day, ie now, they have all been fucked up relationships. as i think miss apple said, i'm a bit over being single. ive had fun, run around, and its just a bit.....well i dont know.

I hold on to the vain hope that that i meet be an attractive, smart, intelligent, good hearted girl.

i know its superficial, and you more than likely can tell in my posts, i am just unable to get past the physical appearance of the people that i am attracted to. i realise it is very cliched, but no matter how hard i try, i am unable to make my brain think that i can consider going out with someone who is ......not the typical great lookin girl. i understand its all in the eye of the beholder, but my standards seem to be too high for my own good. the possibliely of getting mental attraction and physical attraction is a rare thing for me these days.


as a side note, i think its....funny, that i think that everyone here, especially the guys has a faint glimmer of hope that there is some wonderful girl on bluelight that is the girl of her dreams. i hope i dont sounds like an idiot, but the thought has crossed my mind as well. i think that everyone who checks out, or posts on the singles thread has that thought.

regarding the people who are at raves...i dont know about the girls. most of the girls that i have met at raves, i would like to just go out and dance with, and have fun, maybe even a relationship, i think that they are a bit......full of themselves. they seem to come with a sense of arrogance, or something along those lines.
 
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papermate said:
i know its superficial, and you more than likely can tell in my posts, i am just unable to get past the physical appearance of the people that i am attracted to. i realise it is very cliched, but no matter how hard i try, i am unable to make my brain think that i can consider going out with someone who is ......not the typical great lookin girl. i understand its all in the eye of the beholder, but my standards seem to be too high for my own good. the possibliely of getting mental attraction and physical attraction is a rare thing for me these days.

as a side note, i think its....funny, that i think that everyone here, especially the guys has a faint glimmer of hope that there is some wonderful girl on bluelight that is the girl of her dreams. i hope i dont sounds like an idiot, but the thought has crossed my mind as well. i think that everyone who checks out, or posts on the singles thread has that thought.
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re: your first paragraph. i identify completely with what you're saying. (though it might not be the same in your case), i'm not the most attractive guy going around, but i still find myself setting pretty high standards in regards to possible future girlfriends. the problem is, the opportunity *very* rarely arrises, so i really shouldn't be so fucking picky!! plus the whole fact that i shouldn't be picky *just* for the fact that i don't want others to be picky with me :)

and the second paragraph, yeah it's crossed my mind. there's so many cool people on here, and meet-ups have always been fun that i guess it's stuck in the back of my mind. nothing yet though :)
 
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