vurtomatic
Bluelight Crew
physical appearances ofcourse play a factor in terms of attraction. however personality and character still have larger stakes i'd say.
-
-
AADD Moderators: Tronica
Bluelight Singles - from begining to end! don't we love the merge feature!
- Thread starter Adz-O-Rama
- Start date
It's pretty sad, but I've moved heaven and earth to make relationships work with girls whom Ive gone out with who are really hot yet are complete morons, and yet so many girls that Ive met who are intelligent and funny,, I feel absolutely no sexual desire for simply because they weren't good enough looking in my books.
It's a bit shitty really, but then I can't help it 8)
It's a bit shitty really, but then I can't help it 8)
SupaDiscoBreaka
Bluelighter
vurt:
It's true that personality and character normally play a greater role but the physical appearance factor doesn't behave in the same way. It is either weighted or has a cutoff value and dictates the value of the other factors.
It's true that personality and character normally play a greater role but the physical appearance factor doesn't behave in the same way. It is either weighted or has a cutoff value and dictates the value of the other factors.
miss apple
Bluelighter
Re: nah...
It's not that I enter the relationship with an idea that I'm not going to be allowed to be myself. It's more that as soon as I really really like someone, something seems to change the way I act. I become very aware of anything about myself that might scare the person off or cause them to not like me as much as I like them. I become self conscious of every little thing I do and say....and this completely overtakes any knowledge I have of my good points. Then the self esteem plummets the more time goes on...you know...."he hasn't called....oh he doesn't like me" type of stuff.
It's awful...but I know I'm not the only person that it happens to. I know plenty of intelligent rational girls who become completely irrational once they're in love. We know the way we're supposed to be, but something just takes over and we become stupid, silly and self conscious.
I'd like to think that I've conquered some things inside myself and that next time I won't let myself become like that. I just need an opportunity to test it out
candyflip said:
It's not that I enter the relationship with an idea that I'm not going to be allowed to be myself. It's more that as soon as I really really like someone, something seems to change the way I act. I become very aware of anything about myself that might scare the person off or cause them to not like me as much as I like them. I become self conscious of every little thing I do and say....and this completely overtakes any knowledge I have of my good points. Then the self esteem plummets the more time goes on...you know...."he hasn't called....oh he doesn't like me" type of stuff.
It's awful...but I know I'm not the only person that it happens to. I know plenty of intelligent rational girls who become completely irrational once they're in love. We know the way we're supposed to be, but something just takes over and we become stupid, silly and self conscious.
I'd like to think that I've conquered some things inside myself and that next time I won't let myself become like that. I just need an opportunity to test it out
absolutely. I'm pretty picky physically when it comes to boys. But the thing I find is that a person becomes much more physically attractive to you if you're in love with their personality. It's like the knowledge of what's underneath shows in their face.
vurtomatic
Bluelight Crew
Re: Re: nah...
totally
miss apple said:
totally
doofqueen
Bluelighter
i just wrote this in the fat thread but i truly do believe that personality shines through in ppl and makes them attractive or unattractive physically to u depending on how they are...ok granted physical attraction does play a major role but meh id rather be with a great "ugly" guy/gal then one who is ugly on the inside and beauitiful out...but also it does come down to the old age saying that beauty really IS in the eye of the beholder and thats true because all of us are attracted to different physical features in ppl and have our own likes and fetishes of what we think is sexy
the most thing sexy to me is if i can have a conversation with someone and it can just go on and on...like when ur thoughts just bounce of each others...and when u can make each other laugh...and someone who isnt fake and is open with who they are really
the most thing sexy to me is if i can have a conversation with someone and it can just go on and on...like when ur thoughts just bounce of each others...and when u can make each other laugh...and someone who isnt fake and is open with who they are really
It's interesting to hear some guys say that they have high physical standards in terms of women they will settle for. I have quite a few male friends who say this too, and you know what?... most of them are still single. I'm not saying you should lower your standards but ruling the possibility of someone out just because they don't look like the cover of Ralph isn't going to get you very far.
It's also interesting to hear women saying personality can make a difference to how they see someone. While I hear this a lot, until I start seeing lots of couples walking down the street with a really hot girl and a really ugly guy... haha... I'm loathe to believe it.
Jaded? Fuck yes.
Hope eveyone has a weekend that proves all their expectations wrong.
It's also interesting to hear women saying personality can make a difference to how they see someone. While I hear this a lot, until I start seeing lots of couples walking down the street with a really hot girl and a really ugly guy... haha... I'm loathe to believe it.
Jaded? Fuck yes.
Hope eveyone has a weekend that proves all their expectations wrong.
miss apple
Bluelighter
yeah...well....there is a line you can't crosshoptis said:
stacyrox
Bluelighter
Dude, yer like what 25years old? Get a grip. You have no right to even consider whinging about how you're fated to be alone till you hit the age of AT LEAST 35. Christ, you're still young.. try to stop pretending like you're so old.
Moving on..
On the whole looks vs. personality thing.. Nowdays I think I've grown so bitter and jaded towards the whole looks thing (ALL my highschool friends were extremely attractive) it sometimes frustrates me when I talk to people who cant manage to even coinsider dating a girl whos not 5'8 with long blonde hair and is a size 6. Seriously, do you really want a meaningful relationship, or a trophy girlfriend who you can make all your friends jealous about?
I'm so bitter it hurts.
stace.
[edit:] oh and I saw one of the most attractive girls at my school (when I was there) at the video shop one night, a few years later, hanging off an extremely ordinary looking guy.. it was great
Last edited:
bluegirl
Bluelighter
hoptis said:
personality affects how i view a guy - you see it can work in the opposite direction to how you described above you know.... if a guy is good looking but a total prick/arrogant etc. i find it hard to see him as attractive. i think it also depends on what you mean when you say "see someone".
for me physical appearance does not necessarily equal attractive - i can view a good looking guy who i am not attracted to. on the other hand, certain qualities in a person can make them become more attractive.... whether this manifests itself in a "hot girl dating a really ugly guy" or someone you think is cute becoming even more cute/fuckable/whatever is always going to depend on the person..... also, just because someone has a great personality doesn't mean that the other "criteria" a person might have when looking for a prospective partner are necessarily going to be "overridden"....
bk
Great.....now all we have to do is match the good looking guys who are superficail, to those those girls who look for personality.
and hence the blue light personals is born. please attached photos and email addresses.
(note- joke, remember this is a drug based forum....)
once again, i know this sounds very self centred, but i yearn for that girl, i feel that i deserve her, on all levels, being physcialy, mental, intellectually and so forth. i do not say that in a......bitter sense, but im just getting tired of dealing with crap.
and hence the blue light personals is born. please attached photos and email addresses.
(note- joke, remember this is a drug based forum....)
once again, i know this sounds very self centred, but i yearn for that girl, i feel that i deserve her, on all levels, being physcialy, mental, intellectually and so forth. i do not say that in a......bitter sense, but im just getting tired of dealing with crap.
Last edited:
Cohaagen
Bluelighter
sorry about some of my posts, one thing is for sure tho... lonelyness, or even percieved lonelyness is one of the worst things and i can really sympathise with people who have no support structure around them.
upon looks... they do mean a lot to me (as they should, they are the basic filtering system) but personality is essential... there is a vast difference between seeing a "hot" girl and saying "she's alright, i'd fuck her" and acutally wanting to get to know somebody at a deeper level. and in the end, everybody's beautiful in their own way... all it takes is the right lighting, the right facial expressions and SELF-CONFIDENCE on their part (for the physical party anyways) some people who i think are beautiful don't look that way with a big snarl on their face... and if you look at anybody from the wrong angles, they are all ugly as sin... the human body is not really an attractive vessel for the beauty of the soul that can exist within, but yeah, you've gotta work with what you have.
beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and somebody said that they would like somebody who "deserved" them... hmmm... nah... that is a bit egocentric IMHO.
anyways... the basic filtering constraints for me with physical appearance is weight, just because of a perceived lack of sexual performance by somebody who is over-weight... that is it... i would much prefer somebody who is small and light... i guess can be a lot more flexible in "ze sack"...
but yeah...
Cohaa.
upon looks... they do mean a lot to me (as they should, they are the basic filtering system) but personality is essential... there is a vast difference between seeing a "hot" girl and saying "she's alright, i'd fuck her" and acutally wanting to get to know somebody at a deeper level. and in the end, everybody's beautiful in their own way... all it takes is the right lighting, the right facial expressions and SELF-CONFIDENCE on their part (for the physical party anyways) some people who i think are beautiful don't look that way with a big snarl on their face... and if you look at anybody from the wrong angles, they are all ugly as sin...
the human body is not really an attractive vessel for the beauty of the soul that can exist within, but yeah, you've gotta work with what you have. beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and somebody said that they would like somebody who "deserved" them... hmmm... nah... that is a bit egocentric IMHO.
anyways... the basic filtering constraints for me with physical appearance is weight, just because of a perceived lack of sexual performance by somebody who is over-weight... that is it... i would much prefer somebody who is small and light... i guess can be a lot more flexible in "ze sack"...
but yeah...
Cohaa.
Last edited:
plazma
Bluelighter
*bwahahahahahaha*
Okay. I must admit that I find this thread at some times hilarious, and at other times it sparks a chord in me. But at the moment, its the former, I find it hard to take this thread too seriously when it consists of Cohaagen alternately saying he's heartbroken and will be lovelorn forever, and then the next fucking day saying he feels great because he has a date and hopes it will go well etc. Cohaagen, no offence meant, but this is a thread to discuss the virtues and trials and tribulations and stuff of being single, and the mindset thereof. NOT a record of your dating career. We don't need, or want, every scrap of detail about your love life. Please leave room for other people to post.
Its rare that I read posts so irritating that they instill in me an intense desire to feed someone their own fucking spleen, but congrats Cohaa, you've succeeded admirably.
Spend your lives ENJOYING them people, not taking them apart and feeling bad because for some reason you don't have a significant other. Shit, some people are single because of bad luck, some people are single because they are assholes (me :D ) and some people are single just because we as humans are a race of judgemental pricks to whom beauty is skin deep, but nonetheless its an important layer...
But really guys, if you judge yourself by how other people judge you, then you're going to die unhappy in all probability.
-plaz out-
Okay. I must admit that I find this thread at some times hilarious, and at other times it sparks a chord in me. But at the moment, its the former, I find it hard to take this thread too seriously when it consists of Cohaagen alternately saying he's heartbroken and will be lovelorn forever, and then the next fucking day saying he feels great because he has a date and hopes it will go well etc. Cohaagen, no offence meant, but this is a thread to discuss the virtues and trials and tribulations and stuff of being single, and the mindset thereof. NOT a record of your dating career. We don't need, or want, every scrap of detail about your love life. Please leave room for other people to post.
Its rare that I read posts so irritating that they instill in me an intense desire to feed someone their own fucking spleen, but congrats Cohaa, you've succeeded admirably.
Spend your lives ENJOYING them people, not taking them apart and feeling bad because for some reason you don't have a significant other. Shit, some people are single because of bad luck, some people are single because they are assholes (me :D ) and some people are single just because we as humans are a race of judgemental pricks to whom beauty is skin deep, but nonetheless its an important layer...
But really guys, if you judge yourself by how other people judge you, then you're going to die unhappy in all probability.
-plaz out-
Last edited:
Vaile*
Bluelighter
General Question:
Where is it that you yourself would most likely to meet your partner/past partners? e.g: clubs, events, uni, pubs, knitting class etc. ?
Amidst the people I know who experience problems within their relationships (often shortlived), the majority of them shared common factors in the 'fledgling' stage that included get-to-know-you whilst high, communicating with each other on an SMS basis, and the ever-popular 'I've got a personality as shallow as a petri dish, but i'm know i'm one hot modern guy/girl' disorder.
If this is the type of person that most often graces the place you spend your friday/saturday night at:
Goodluck.
Why is it that once upon a time, your friend found their love at Plastic? Because it is was one in a million.
Set and Setting? Get to know you? fucking FRIENDSHIP????
Lots of people exist outside the world you may consciously know of. If you do hate men, or treat women as just (insert blank); stop going to the same place!
There probably aren't many individuals this post can apply to. However, the amount of times i've had to say the exact same thing to friends downloading about their relationships, shows there are people in this situation, and that they may be posting on this thread.
Another Question: How many of us can say our partners have been our friends? A person you can spend the weekend with the same as you do with the people you consider your best friends?
I'm off to bake some muffins.... Man.
Peace.
Where is it that you yourself would most likely to meet your partner/past partners? e.g: clubs, events, uni, pubs, knitting class etc. ?
Amidst the people I know who experience problems within their relationships (often shortlived), the majority of them shared common factors in the 'fledgling' stage that included get-to-know-you whilst high, communicating with each other on an SMS basis, and the ever-popular 'I've got a personality as shallow as a petri dish, but i'm know i'm one hot modern guy/girl' disorder.
If this is the type of person that most often graces the place you spend your friday/saturday night at:
Goodluck.
Why is it that once upon a time, your friend found their love at Plastic? Because it is was one in a million.
Set and Setting? Get to know you? fucking FRIENDSHIP????
Lots of people exist outside the world you may consciously know of. If you do hate men, or treat women as just (insert blank); stop going to the same place!
There probably aren't many individuals this post can apply to. However, the amount of times i've had to say the exact same thing to friends downloading about their relationships, shows there are people in this situation, and that they may be posting on this thread.
Another Question: How many of us can say our partners have been our friends? A person you can spend the weekend with the same as you do with the people you consider your best friends?
I'm off to bake some muffins.... Man.
Peace.
Knitting classes! Definitely knitting classes
I tend to meet guys when I'm clubbing - that could be my problem. I'm either blind or off chops and attract the wrong type ...
But seriously, if you go out "in search" of someone you never find em .... go out with the intentions of just having a farkin awesome night and who knows what can happen
There's someone out there for everyone - yeah I believe that, and they'll find each other when the time is right
I tend to meet guys when I'm clubbing - that could be my problem. I'm either blind or off chops and attract the wrong type ...
But seriously, if you go out "in search" of someone you never find em .... go out with the intentions of just having a farkin awesome night and who knows what can happen
There's someone out there for everyone - yeah I believe that, and they'll find each other when the time is right
Cosmic Mist
Bluelighter
I personally have met most of my ex's through friends... in fact the best relationship i ever had was with a person i met randomly at a concert ![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
Maybe it is just bad luck, maybe it is just poor timing/venue choice/mind frames that lead people into these impossibly disastrous relationships... but then again, maybe it's all some people really know and therefore they do not realise what they really want/need from a s/o.
One of my friends is a perfect example of this: he spent 3 year with a girl who used to cut ersself when ever he didn't comply with what she wanted (basically,) and now that he's free of her, he's started to become serious with another girl with serious depression issues. He's following in the path he's forged for himself, the only problem is that it is leading him around in circles.
I'm not looking for my soul mate, or any sort of mate at all. I'm too busy being me and leading my own life to worry about that - life is too short to spend worried about things you have no real power in changing...
... and i believe that patience is a virtue.
Maybe it is just bad luck, maybe it is just poor timing/venue choice/mind frames that lead people into these impossibly disastrous relationships... but then again, maybe it's all some people really know and therefore they do not realise what they really want/need from a s/o.
One of my friends is a perfect example of this: he spent 3 year with a girl who used to cut ersself when ever he didn't comply with what she wanted (basically,) and now that he's free of her, he's started to become serious with another girl with serious depression issues. He's following in the path he's forged for himself, the only problem is that it is leading him around in circles.
I'm not looking for my soul mate, or any sort of mate at all. I'm too busy being me and leading my own life to worry about that - life is too short to spend worried about things you have no real power in changing...
... and i believe that patience is a virtue.
belisimo
Bluelighter
vaile- i don't think clubs are at all a good place to meet potential partners, but we all try anyway. it makes clubbing just that little more interesting.
my mum reckons i will meet my boy by tripping over him in the street one day, so yet to see if her predictions are correct.
And yeah i totally think your someone has to be your best friend as well. with the amt of time you spend with them, they have to be.
luv 2 all
my mum reckons i will meet my boy by tripping over him in the street one day, so yet to see if her predictions are correct.
And yeah i totally think your someone has to be your best friend as well. with the amt of time you spend with them, they have to be.
luv 2 all
Cohaagen
Bluelighter
Re: *bwahahahahahaha*
well...
okay, i'll shut up now... but i still want to be able to post here. i think some of the stuff i have said has been of some use... i hope... but yeah... sorry if i give people the shits. lately i haven't had anybody to really talk to and rather than letting thoughts drift in my head all day and night, i'd rather get them out... but you are right, this is not always the most appropriate thread to be posting in. i'll find somewhere more appropriate in future.
one day i'll go on a little trip to hyde park in london (i think that's the one), get out my soapbox, and dump my crazy mind onto anybody who's willing to listen... or maybe i'll write a book... who knows?
Cohaa.
plazma said:
well...
okay, i'll shut up now... but i still want to be able to post here. i think some of the stuff i have said has been of some use... i hope... but yeah... sorry if i give people the shits. lately i haven't had anybody to really talk to and rather than letting thoughts drift in my head all day and night, i'd rather get them out... but you are right, this is not always the most appropriate thread to be posting in. i'll find somewhere more appropriate in future.
one day i'll go on a little trip to hyde park in london (i think that's the one), get out my soapbox, and dump my crazy mind onto anybody who's willing to listen... or maybe i'll write a book... who knows?
Cohaa.
Last edited: