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Bluelight Singles - from begining to end! don't we love the merge feature!

I'd make a good op cause I nows how to use my nerd box real good. Yup I sure do.
And I now classify myself as a Professional Single.
Ahh and to keep things back on subject, hoptis I think cheating is the lowest of lows, but maybe best to keep out of it, let Karma take its course.
MikeyK
[ 29 August 2002: Message edited by: mikeyk ]
 
Hehehehe... I shoulda realised this would happen... ;)
Don't post about it in here - there was some good discussion going on and I don't want to kill it because we announced the IRC channel (which is designed to take some of the pressure off this thread)!
Continue on with the previous discussion, and if you want to be an op, come into the channel! :)
 
Mirage, man, that sucks real bad.
I was going out with a girl, and we had a bit of an arguement.
We sort of broke up, and I find out that she goes and sleeps with my best mate.
I only found out after we got back together.
She used the "Friends" excuse, "We were on a break"
Your mates should stay away from your ex-girlfriends like they are the plague.
Why do people have to jump in bed with others when they are hurting?
 
Apples: I didn't actually say I'd actively try to interfere... But if the topic came up I wouldn't lie about it... I'm not one to meddle in other's affairs, in fact I'd rather just stay out of it, relationships get far too complicated without outside interference, but in the end my obligation is to the truth more than it is towards faithless 'friends'
Not too long ago one of my friends, a good friend, who has a girlfriend who is also a good friend of mine, got really trashed and groped and kissed another girl... He told her about it because he felt bad, but if he hadn't, I would have... Even if I hadn't said something directly, the girl would have asked me because she would have known something was up, and I wasn't going to lie...
As much as I need friends, I don't need friends who screw other people (literally or figuratively)
It'd be great if we were a polygamous society, but we're not, 'cos we don't have the emotional fortitude to handle multiple partners (which includes the ability to control jealousy), nor the intelligence to distinguish properly between lust and love...
FinkFresh: I'd enjoy flirting with her but make sure her and her b/f know its only flirting... I wouldn't take it any further... I also wouldn't want to be with someone who was considering other people while already in a relationship (see the above point regarding polygamy... It'd be great, but it's not going to work in this society, and I'm not going to try to make it work when I'm not getting anywhere with monogamous relationships)
 
Originally posted by Tarsarlan:
FinkFresh: I'd enjoy flirting with her but make sure her and her b/f know its only flirting... I wouldn't take it any further...
I don't think he should flirt with her if he knows she's already taken. I have real problems when people act suggestively with people they know have a significant other. There are plenty of single girls out there (take a look at this thread!!) so I don't see any reason to try and cause unnecessary heartache. Just forget about the girl until a) you meet someone else or b) her and her current partner break up.
Flirting may be innocent fun to some, but it can lead to things that aren't quite so harmless.
 
Russ I share your pain man, there isn't much we can do but learn from what happens. We've gotta build a bridge and get over it or else we'll get no where fast.
Originally posted by Queen Beat:
I have real problems when people act suggestively with people they know have a significant other. There are plenty of single girls out there (take a look at this thread!!) so I don't see any reason to try and cause unnecessary heartache. Just forget about the girl until a) you meet someone else or b) her and her current partner break up.
Why can't we flirt with people who are taken? What if there are feelings involved? Are you gonna tell me that if you had feelings for someone who was taken you wouldn’t even flirt a little? And what if they started flirting back, where would you draw the line?
I say follow your heart, but be careful you're not following something else and if you are following something else make sure you know why and be prepared for the consequences. If you don't think before you act then you deserve what happens next (generalising).
[ 29 August 2002: Message edited by: Mirage ]
 
I figure if I would do it to a guy then I would do it to someones girl friend, and no I'm not bi.
IE I would hug a friend and his girlfriend, but I wouldn't kiss him or her.
If it's a friends girlfriend then I will flirt, since my frineds know it means nothing. But if it's a girl I don't know then I won't flirt unless I know she's single.
I'm not on this earth to step on other peoples toes.
 
Flirting with a friend's girlfriend is so fuckin wrong I can't even begin to put it into words.
One of my good friends I go clubbing with has a really gorgeous and funny girlfriend who has a great personality. We get on really well, talk and give each other massages while rolling etc, but there's absolutely no way I could flirt or do anything even slightly bordering on the sexual with her because of my relationship with my friend. She's like a sister to me, just as I love him like a brother. Flirting with her would seem wrong in the same way that flirting with a member of my family would seem wrong.
Even if I did feel something for her, the absolute revulsion and disgust that floods over me at the thought of hurting my friend by messing with his gf would put pay to it.
You just DON'T fuck with your friends (both literally and metaphorically speaking).
---
EDIT - It's okay Mirage, I wasn't responding to your post :)
vvv
[ 29 August 2002: Message edited by: Macksta ]
 
Originally posted by Macksta:
Flirting with a friend's girlfriend is so fuckin wrong I can't even begin to put it into words.

I wouldn't ever flirt with a friends girlfriend and mean it, I meant flirting with people who you know are taken, not friends. :)
[edit - Macksta: kewl, i didn't think you were but was just checking :) ]
[ 29 August 2002: Message edited by: Mirage ]
 
well thanks for the advice! :) also, her boyfriend, im not his 'friend', i just know him and say hello and stuff, we are not actually close friends or anything.
i know it is hard for u to judge this girl cos u dont know her, but she seems like the person that would not cheat on her bf, or intentionally lok for another guys, but maybe she just feels the same way as me and wants to see if i wanna take it further.... then if i do wanna take it further, she will then consider things with her bf, maybe break up with him or whatever.
but i cant see her cheating on her bf, she would break up with him 1st....but i dont think i wanna go there, she is taken and thats that.
but then again, my mate at work always says, "if ur single, u have the choice to do anything with whoever you want, you cant blame yourself for getting with someone that has a partner"
 
Originally posted by FinkFresh:"if ur single, u have the choice to do anything with whoever you want, you cant blame yourself for getting with someone that has a partner"[/QB]
Spoken like someone who's never had their heart broken by a third party...
The world isn't fucking Temptation Island! It is not the god given right of every single person to get with whomever they choose as if they don't have any obligations to anyone but themselves. If you really, really do like her then let her know and let her make the choice. Don't play games and keep her guessing.
The way I make sure I'm not crossing any lines is I ask myself whether I would act like this if his girlfriend was standing there. If I know I wouldn't then I stop whatever I'm doing.
 
ok well... im kinda over it then, chicks with bf's are too complicated and im not gonna get hung up over 1 chick, there are plenty of others out there that are interested and that are single so im officially ending the conversation about her.
 
Queen Beat: If you don't know that the person you're messing around with is taken, then you can't be blamed... I think (I hope), that's what FinkFresh's friend meant...
...And I agree with you on how to determine if you're crossing lines or not... There's been a few suggestive posts in the past involving myself, blufluffybunny, and nocturnal_chick, and the content of those posts has been play acted in real life too... The fact that bunny and nocky are b/f and g/f doesn't matter, because we all know we're just stuffing around...
And that's my point, as long as all involved are clear that it doesn't mean anything, then there shouldn't be any issue...
More-so than cheating, what constitutes flirting is often undefined... What someone considers harmless, meaningless flirting may be considered an obvious advance by someone else...
Which is why it's so damn hard to tell how someone feels about you judging only by their behaviour... What they consider an obvious sign may be meaningless to you...
 
I'm dead against hitting on a girl if she's taken and I know that is the case.
Although I am also not known to be the 'hitting' kind, I just respect other people's personal space too much and feel that's it's wrong to violate it (that is a bit far fetched though, i know, but that's how my head works :) ). Just dont wanna be seen as a slease that's all.
It's morally wrong to be actively pursuing someone who's taken and also trying to destabilise that someone's state of mind.
I'm really happy that my conscience wouldn't let me act otherwise.
In fact even if the girl is totally beyond attractive on my scale, I get a complete shutdown if she's taken...
 
OK by flirting I don't mean massaging, etc when were straight, I mean saying dirty jokes and play dry humping as a joke.
Guess you have to understand the quality of friendship I have with my friends. We can do these things purely because no one we know nobody is offended.
 
Tars: Totally agreed. I only commented because of the context Finkfresh used the statement in. In his situation he knows the girl is taken and I thought he was using what his friend was saying as a defence. meh ... I'm just in an argumentative mood tonight. ;)
There's a difference between flirting and mucking around - flirting suggests there's some intent behind the comments.
 
flirt Pronunciation Key (flûrt)
v. flirt·ed, flirt·ing, flirts
v. intr.
To make playfully romantic or sexual overtures.
I've always thought flirting had a suggestively sexual element to it. In that sense the context within which the actions take place is very important. You could play wrestle with your mate's girlfriend or give her a massage and it all be very innocent, or you could do so in a manner where there was some sort of repressed sexual tension between the two of you which would be tres uncool.
[ 30 August 2002: Message edited by: Macksta ]
 
^^^^^^
Damn straight, its 90% about the attitude which you HAVE to what you're doing, mind you, one couldn't fuck someone else with an innocent frame of mind and have it not be considered as flirting, so evidently there ARE boundaries.
-plaz out-
 
why is it the guys i like are always taken and the ones id never go for in a million years the chasers. why am i looking for a guy in the point of my life where im still discovering who i am and constantly changing. I mean Im not the same person i was a year ago.
 
oh god theres a separate irc shannel for singles now...good god....this is more and more like AA every day.
 
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