^ Some really good words there, it all flows together so well. In respect to that post i will not consume any substances today haha.
Effie do you have a black cat by any chance Lol. my brother does, its called ozzy but its a she but he didnt name it.
That post in this thread the other day with my intentions. Well unfortunately they have been like that, like an episode a day for many many years of my life but im slowly learning ways to get around it,
I am able to use ketamine once a week and that has done the trick for a long time, i mean i went from having a Feeling/thought of a way out of life nearly every day (Even when i was in a relationship, working, had own place) lost all of that probably as a result because my wife said to me: Its crazy how your fine half the day and in a good mood then wanting to die the other half, in no particular order and i just cant take it anymore'
I started doing a dose of ketamine on a weekly basis for around 4 months now, and there was around 2 whole months where a single suicidal thought didnt cross my mind. However ive been on a 28 day course of antibiotics atm, for prostatitis which are a CYP450 inhibitor so its making the ketamine not as effective but its still working a bit.
I actually stopped taking ketamine for 3 weeks in case they would react with the antibiotics, but on week 3 i seriously needed to take some ketamine because i was planning on topping myself everyday all week, so i did make it to 3 weeks without it but it was so hard on that last week, it was scary.
Its okay, one more day of taking them, tommorrow then im free again.