Well I only tried 3-MeO-PCP once but I did it right i.e. the dosage was enough for a full experience but without proceeding to mania (I did feel it lurking). 12 mg first, followed by 7 mg a few hours later. I think with only the initial 12 mg, or even lower for others since I have serious dissociative tolerance, would be plenty for meditation.
just went through the big&dandy on 3-meo-pcp. compound sounds fuckin mad and dangerous - in the way that already brought me off MXE. nevertheless I just plugged 6mg, another 4 already in solution. let's see. XD
ad nirvana: the only state reachable during our lifetime that I'd consider "nirvana", is a classic ++++. or ++++ is nirvana by (my) definition. I'll never forget the moment when I broke through to my 1st ++++ on semilanceata. I even wrote a note: "this is it. I am there."(in english oddly enough) there was no doubt that I was in this mystical space every religion has a name for: paradise, nirvana.... pure oceanic consciousness.
imo the state that can be reached via meditation/contemplation and awareness shares (among others) the sense of 'desirelessness' but is nowhere close to nirvana. the state of nirvana is not meant to be "lived". you cannot be in both realms at the same time. as (long as you are) a human being you simply need the ego as a tool to communicate with the world.
....oh well, the drug slowly takes hold. :D
btw: does anyone of you have a solution for the following problem: the more I fall into universal love the less sense I see in personal love. sometimes I even doubt it can be a spiritual goal in the first place - as it always seems to involve the ego. maybe personal/sexual relationships can uncover the dark spots of our psyche/ego and
force us to grow and transcend. that's my current "solution" but I'm not really happy with it. the root of my unhappiness is probably that personal love inevitably involves emotions and a loss of control - a loss of awareness that is.
I hope I find a solution for this problem before I actually meet a woman I can't resist...

(my guess is that she's gonna pop up the moment I find my solution - or vice versa.)
-> 3-meo-pcp-voice in the back of my head: "maybe today's the day!!" I can see where this shit is going...

gonna plug the rest now and take a shower. haha