We are a harm reduction forum for specific questions about drugs, we don't do what should I take or what drug is best type threads. It's a horrible idea to try to numb your emotions with drugs, it leads straight to addiction. I urge you to try therapy, supplements, meditation, self-help, art, ANYTHING besides opioids. Non-drug methods may not be a quick fix like taking an opioid or a benzo, but in the long run using drugs to numb your emotions ends up making things far worse than they already are. Trust me, I know from personal experience, and I absolutely would have chosen a different path if I could do things over.
Please PM me if you have any questions.