^Let us know how it went at the doctors mate. Hope it went OK, very interested to see what he says as well
I'm in a state of happy disbelief. I 'fessed up, to a (carefully selected, after past GPs wouldn't help me) doc who asked intelligent questions, was completely non-judgemental, suggested a 12-month taper dropping 2mgs a week, and was obviously surprised/impressed when I said 'no, I want to try 5mgs a week, at least to start with.' Think he could see that I really want off this shit, wrote me a 2-week 'script and I'll head back in 10 days to discuss how it's going. Couldn't have gone better - he said to call in if things got rough, no lectures, no bullshit, just a rational, clinical pragmatism that was a very pleasant surprise.
It is a postcode lottery, but two bad experiences and a year of failing to taper solo on black/grey market supplies have taught me:
1. Find a doctor in their 50s or 60s, who will have more experience, and knows what you're talking about when you mention the Ashton Manual.
2. Be completely honest about doses, length of habit, and all the rest. When I told him I was on 60-70mgs a day, he didn't blink, just said 'well, we'd best go slow or you'll be fitting on the floor.'
3. Don't play games and try to get 'scripted something 'fun' or more than you need.
4. DON'T give up on the NHS after one or two bad experiences - there's still some good docs out there.
5. Don't kid yourself that it's weakness to need help, or strength to go it alone. Trying to taper solo proved impossible for me, and has dragged this out much longer than necessary. Plus I've wasted thousands of pounds on black-market benzos, getting weak batches, risking possession charges, and being offered a choice of benzos - Xanax, Temaz, Nitrazepam - that were too tempting to resist buying, impossible for me not to abuse, and kept fucking up tapers when I'd got down to low-medium doses.
So I know it'll be a hard road from here, but I feel I've won the postcode lottery - and while I know it'll be temping to supplement, skint as I am, I'm done with paying black market rates for what are always mystery pills, unknown doses, some inactive (never been that unlucky, but I know many have,and the market's being flooded with blue chalk), some probably blued-up etizolam/phenaz from before the ban or pyrazolam/random RC analogues sold as diaz at extortionate rates. DON'T GIVE UP, HELP MAY BE HARD TO FIND, BUT IT'S OUT THERE.
So God bless Dr X, and God bless the NHS!


