the_ketaman
Bluelighter
I have been on the MMT program for a while(2 years) at 80mg and at that dose even if I have 2 days off I barely feel a shot of whatever. I just had 300mg morphine and am a little bit high but not even close to nodding and very disappointed, it was a waste IMHO. I am not sure I want to completely get off methadone but I want to be able to use and not need enormous amounts of drug and actually feel it. Im not sure how to do this though. Its not like I want to use often, seriously, only once or twice a month. I do miss the druggy life, I never went to jail or did anything I consider morally wrong except emotional things to family and friends.
I dont understand how so many others on the program still use often and feel it and are sometimes on more methadone than me!...WTF??? A lot of people are surprised when I need to do 1/2g of the best heroin around to feel something close to what id like(certainly 10x higher than I am now
)...Sorry not dicksizing. Its true though, opiates pull you in and no matter how much methadone im on, I still want to feel that high, the one thing methadone is good for is keeping you from getting sick and thats why I continue to use it, I am increasingly thinking that id rather go through the rollorcoaster of opiate use than the depression and control of a methadone habit(thats what I call it)...And thats the least of it.
THX
I dont understand how so many others on the program still use often and feel it and are sometimes on more methadone than me!...WTF??? A lot of people are surprised when I need to do 1/2g of the best heroin around to feel something close to what id like(certainly 10x higher than I am now
THX
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