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Been Clean off dope for 3 months

Anomaly88 said:
It brought me to the depths and back

now I am happy with the things that I lack

now that these chains are finally broken

I'm free to live unused and unspoken
Click to expand...

:D
You continue to be an inspiration for many, my friend. I love what you've written. Thank you for sharing it with us :) :)

~ Vaya
 
hehehe thanks guys! <3 Just finished my research project on designer drugs lolol. Made an A in english. Hoping for 2 A's 2 B's and a C. Got my finals next week and im done.. shooting for that 3.0 + i hope i can do it xD ready to get the fuck out of this community college. Next semester is gunna be a bitch. Taking a lot of business classes. Guess im gunna stick to that major. Have been having trouble deciding what i wanna do but i guess ill just stick to business..
 
Thats awesome A.

In school they say go to college then get a job but in reality its go to college, live life fall into job ;)

But hopefully its a lot easier for you, especially if you keep doing what your doing!<3
 
90 days today!!!! :D
Man im so bummed. I was one question away from a B in the class on my math test. I fucking checked the wrong answer on the computer but put it right on my scratch paper -_- she doesnt look at the scratch paper so i got a C >:[ fuck that. Now i got 2 C's 2 A's and a B. But whatever... at least i passed. Shit pisses me off cause i should of had that :| It was a timed test so i was hurrying and stressing cause i hate timed tests and i didnt even realize i put in the wrong answer until i got my paper back. Its like wtf i didnt put that in there :\ and some other shit i got wrong were just careless mistakes cause i was hurrying. I was fine with 1 C but 2.... man fuck that. I should of done better... Bleh
 
I hate grades! This stupidity is exactly why I hate them. Oh well, in the big picture it won't matter. 90 days does matter, though! Congrats again, guy!:)<3
 
Yeah.. just cant stand making C's anymore. They dont slide with me. hah. I shoulda made all A's and B's... but whatever. Its done with I can beat myself up about it all day. Nothings gunna change. haha. and thx. Man I had the most fuct up dream last night :| I havent had a using dream in awhile and this one was fucking with me... Hate it. But at least it wasnt real and i still got my 90 day tag :DD
 
Just checking in. Get 4 months on the 11th. 6 months will be a good day ;) Things have been going good.. Finished my 5th step the other day! Started summer classes today as well :D
 
^^ Great news!!! For me it will be 6 months on the 17th. It's really encouraging to hear how several people on this board got sober/clean in the last 6 months and keep on fighting the habit, wether they slipped along the way or not. We are strong!!!
 
Thats great man I still smoke weed too and I'm going to make a liberal statement and say that weed has actually helped me taper down very
low on my sub.
It gives me something to look forward too, it doesn't ruin my life like opiates do, so keep smoking weed if its what keeps you off the junk.

Feel proud of yourself! You should.
 
I dont do nothing anymore. Not smoke or drink. Nothing. That was back before I relapsed. It worked for awhile and helped me stay sane and taper but it didn't work out for too long. I got back on the junk and now i know i cant do shit. But if it works for you then more power to ya! I just no i cant do anything anymore... Anyways. My bro checked himself into a mental hospital today. Apparantly he tried to hang himself. IDK... Its kinda fucking me up. I mean I dont know how to feel. Like hopefully it helps him cause hes been severely depressed but part of me is wishing i shoulda tried a little harder and been a better older brother.. :\
 
Thats rough man my brother tried to kill himself about 10 years ago and although it was a long time ago I can definitely relate.

Be strong for your bother, tell him what you'd want to hear in his shoes. Tell him what he needs to hear more than anything.
I'll NEVER forget the day I went to the hospital and saw him lying unconcious in the hospital bed. He was so young, had so much
ahead of him to look forward to. Wound up doing it all over his whore gf who cheated on him with his bestfriend. He was severely betrayed by the 2 people in his life he cared about most.

I would have probably tried to kill myself too after going through something like that as a teenager. It was his first love, so it rocked
his world in quite the negative way.

Took him a good year just to get over, and he cried for months even once he came home. But eventually we all helped him get
stronger together. Family will sacrifice a lot of their own wellbeing for the wellbeing of their blood. Its only natural. Just be sure
to watch out for yourself. Your overwhelming focus should just be on MAINTAINING the gift of sobriety. It doesn't always feel
like a gift, but there are people in this thread very jealous of you right now, myself included.

KEEP IT UP, KEEP YOUR HEAD UP, and KEEP MOVING FORWARD!

Good luck! - Bo
 
Thanks man! My friends have told me to try to put yourself in his shoes and shit and its like.. idk man. Ive never been that depressed i dont know how hes feeling. We dont get along and he says im an asshole and i was and still am hard on him at times. Hes really sensative so any small thing could set him off. My depression was drug induced and only last a few weeks/month tops and wasnt severe. Was able to manage it and cope with it... He still regrets shit way back in the past and hates me for some of the shit ive done when i was little and in my addiction. So even when i try to be nice he thinks im out to get him or something.. When i try to encourage him he doesnt wanna hear it. When i try to show him what the right thing to do is he shuts me out. Its so hard and frusterating.. I got to the point where i was like fuck it. Gotta worry about myself. But i hate seeing him go through this. I mean hes been depressed his whole life and isolating his whole life so thats all he can do... IDK, it bugs me theres really nothing i can do except try to support him. But even that is hard when i see him fucking his life up...
 
Your story made me smile man. Day 3 of an extreme taper. Lost my love and my job at the same time. Swore id get off dope. Going from a 300 mg per day oxy habbit, and i was doing a g of black tar per day for about 2 weeks, to takin 10 mgs of hydrocodone and im down to about 2-2 1/2 10 mg hydros per day every 10 to 12 hours. Pretty damn good drop all things considered.My girl or maybe ex girl texted me that she loves me last night and that helped me push on. My best friend who my family took in a long time ago and who kicked methadone has been calling me every day 2 times helping with encouragement and offered to pay my cable bill while im waiting for unemployment. My other best friend, who my family also took in, asked what i needed, i told him xannax and weed. He showed up at my door with 20 xannax for me within an hour and an 8th of LA confidential. I tried to pay him and he just said no man just get better. Then he came and hung out today to smoke some grape ape he grew and give me something to think about. My parents are letting me detox at their house with a spa and jacuzzi right down the road. I feel like shit, but after being fucked over a few times because of my helpful and generous nature its nice to see a little good karma come back when i need it. Im truly blessed to be withdrawing where I am. I have 2000 channels of cable an ipad and access to a jacuzzi and a jaccuzzi bathtub when i dont want to drive down the street. Been doing yoga too.

Thank god for immodium, xannax and
 
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