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Been Clean off dope for 3 months

You deserve whatever you want. If it feels good role with it. This can easily be mistaken for doing bad things, especially falling back into addiction, but really, how good it that?
 
So happy for you Anom your thread is a huge inspiration to me. From the moment I first read it and even now I really find a lot of hope in your energy. I can definitely feel your personality through your text. You really sound and act like a great person and you deserve so much happiness. I get so much satisfaction seeing you improve and find happiness. So much love to you!!! <3<3
 
:] thanks stardust. That made me feel really good. haha. I just wanna thank all of you all who stick around and give me advice. Your part of my support group as well! So give yourselves a pat on the back too!! :p
 
Glad to help. Remember, don't get ahead of yourself. You start feeling really good and unstoppable, then all the sudden you relapse. Just keep that in mind, but don't lose sleep over it. Seriously don't, there's no point. You could always relapse obviously.
 
Yeah, i know. People have told me that. I'm just gunna keep going to meetings on the reg. & just keep focused on staying clean.. I already kinda went down that relapse road. Not trying to do it again. Especially now that i quit everything instead of just doing everything but my DOC which was what i was doing when i first started this thread..
 
Oh, I didn't know you relapsed already. That's actually probably the most helpful thing that you have already added to your recovery portfolio, and you already know this. Good job, keep it up. Don't stop going to the meetings just because you feel good either. If anything, start running them imo, even if it widdles down to just a few friends or w/e.
 
Yeah, hopefully I can sooner or later. Still really new to the program but I go everyday. Even if im having a good day. I don't understand why people come if they are just having hard times in their life or something. Doesn't make sense to me. This program helps me stay clean, i couldn't have done it without them. I remembered when i first came in there and theyre all like it saved my life and all this non-sense i couldnt relate to but its so true. I love ever bit of it :D Iv'e been trying to go early and everything to do service work and help clean up.. Just to keep busy. This one kid i met the other day is gunna take me to some bull riding show or something. Havent been to anything like that in years, hah. So i'd figure i would give it a try. I'm down for whatever as long as it keeps my mind off dope.. and i think i'm gunna try out church again and give that a shot since i haven't been since i was little..
 
Ya man. NA/AA people that are further down the road in recovery are the most fun people to hang out with outside meetings. They don't need social lubricants or any of that crap. Life is a social lubricant.
 
hah never heard of that before. Thats funny. & yeah its so true. They sure know how to laugh and have a good time living sober. Still trying to learn how -_-
 
Today's been pretty amazing. :] These 2 guys weren't gunna go to the meeting tonight but decided to go since I was there. hah. Makes me feel good and even that much more dedicated. They obviously see something in me that i can't see yet.. But it just feels really good having all this support and people who care about me. I've never had anyone too really tell me what is right and what is wrong and lead me in the right direction. I know what i was doing was wrong.. just didn't care because i didn't care if i lived or i died. Life was miserable enough. Might as well kill myself slowly and be numb while doing it, eh? I just feel so good right now. My head is finally out of my ass. I'm happier than i would have ever been while still using. No drug can make me feel this good.. It's just really uplifting. Knowing that I am finally doing the right thing and headed in the right direction.. Im so over this whole lifestyle. Ready to move on with my life.. i know iv'e said it before but i fucking mean it man. God put me on this earth for a reason and it sure as hell wasnt to be no damn dope fiend. I never wanted this. & i'd be dead or in jail right now if there wasnt someone up there looking out for my ass and thats a fucking fact!
 
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You deserve all the happiness in the world! I am so happy you have found it and you know how to keep providing yourself with it! You're on such a roll it is amazing. <3<3
 
Man fuck i bombed both my tests today -_- im really pissed off... I mean i understand about the other one since i didnt put much time and effort in it but i made a 62 on my math test and i thought i would at least make a 70... i studied my ass off for that. I'm pretty upset about it :\ but nothing i can really do but try harder i guess D:
 
haha thanks for the support! Shit man.. i know i'm slow now. I used to be pretty damn bright. My brain doesnt function as good as it used to when i was in high school.. Too many chems since then. haha. But yeah its pretty fucking sad how im 19 and saying that shit :\ but its so true man. My brain is like fried. I got the worst short term memory loss and cant do math as well as i could. I was so good at math when i was in high school and could do it just by looking at the problem i would just start killing it. haha. Ace tests when i was a freshman and sophomore that were for senior level and college level classes. Now i cant do shit -_- i hate it. But whatever, its my fault. Hopefully i can start learning better and understanding shit easier now that i quit all drugs... But i know rolling every weekend and being addicted to bars and opiates took a big chunk out of my brain. haha :\
 
Your brain isn't fried, it's getting back to normal levels. Dope kind of shuts if off afterall..like only a lot. You'll notice yourself getting sharper and sharper the longer you stay sober. Also, you might want to look into nootropic drugs such as piracetam + choline. There are plenty others, but this is a good start, if they are even for you.
 
2 weeks today! :D hahah i ran into this guy i used to use with today at a meeting. I hardly recognized him until he told me. I was like wowowowow. Was crazy. He was like mannn u were pretty bad, i was like mannnn i know. But i'm done with that shit :D was funny running into him.
 
Congrats on two weeks!!!! <3

I used to run into people at meetings to, weirdest thing lol It especially sucks when they have seen you at yor worst, its pretty embarrassing..
 
Thanks! Gunna pick up my 30 day chip here soon :]] and yeah.. its whatever. Thats not me anymore so who cares. I just laugh about it.. Since im doing something about it i dont really care what i used to be. hah. Time to start a new chapter of my life! :D but yeah.. i know what you mean. I went and ate with my recovery buddies last night and saw this girl from high school i used to have a thing for. Didnt really bother trying to say anything to her cause shes a stuck up bitch now. so whatever.. but im sure she thought what was i doing there since i was pretty strung out and selling when i was in high school. hah. But i'll let her think what she wants :p
 
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