Been Clean off dope for 3 months

[Anomaly88]

Ayyyy 30 days! I went to a midnight meeting last night and i was like, man. Idk why im acting like this but fuck it just seems like another day to me. Ive been so excited about this day for weeks and now that its finally here its like wtf? But i was just in a bad mood last night. Been sore, and tired, and lonely.. Havent had a bad day in a few weeks so it finally happened. Wasnt like a really terrible day but i just noticed my attitude was turning to shit and i didnt want to share and meet new people like i normally would have in meetings. Today was great though! Picked up at 2 different meetings and my sponsor and sponsee brothers came to my home group and supported me. It was a really good feeling. Everyone was lining up for hugs. hah. Im glad to make it to 30 days! Cant wait for my 60! but one step at a time. cant get ahead of myself. I finished my step 1 and am on step 2! :D

 

[DexterMeth]

^This is good news man. Keep it up. Eventually it will get to the point where you're not even sure why you go to the meetings anymore. ..Don't let your gaurd down like this. Find something else to keep you full like that if you really feel like eventually moving on from that. You need to stay busy and fulfilled. Sure, solid mediation can bring one this, but how many people ever get to that point?

It's REALLY funny, dude! And by 'funny' I mean it's a fucking trip to care about anything other than the next fix again. The biggest, most refreshing breath of fresh air ever...

~ vaya

lmao

 

[Vaya]

Ayyyy 30 days!

WHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
*streamers erupt all over, vaya pops a bottle of sparkling cider and showers Anomaly with it*

Dude, you're fucking rocking it. Do you realize the magnitude of what you're doing? You're rocking it!! My most sincere and heartfelt congratulations to you.

Eventually it will get to the point where you're not even sure why you go to the meetings anymore. ..Don't let your gaurd down like this.

Thank god this got addressed, thank you Dexter.
When times become good, it's unreal how simple it is to forget how bad things were, and why you should in fact step up participation in the program during good times because we are the most vulnerable to relapse when we feel we're okay and safe. Snap decisions are made easily and before you know it, you've relapsed.

At least, that's the script detailing my journeys. For some reason I'm having trouble finding a buyer for the movie rights. Probably because it's so damn depressing!!

We can make complicated the simplest of things, so here it is:
Don't forget what it was like. Under no circumstances. Ever.

But, shit, don't let me get this response all stoney and cold. You're hitting major milestones left and right.

*releases thirty balloons into the room*

~ vaya

 

[KAYLA2010]

Wow. A- You are fucking awesome!!!

The first thirty days are so fucking hard, but you did it!!! How are you feeling today? Are you still feeling down or did it go away.

I know that when going to meetings eventually you grow restless. Feeling as though you dont need them anymore. Try to write a list of reasons why you like meetings and what they do for you and when you feel depressed or down when you go read the list and remind yourself why you are there. If you dont write them down eventually you forget why you liked them in the first place and you dont want to go anymore and ecentually relapse, Dont let this happen. Write them down as they are fresh in uour memory. I hope that helps you in the future. I know i wish i had done this when i had quit meetings. I ended up havin to w/d from relapses 7 more times because i necer stayed in mertings and continued the support process. Yanno.....

Congratulations on 30 days

 

[batmanplaybaseball]

Don't forget what it was like. Under no circumstances. Ever.

At seven months, this is where I find myself. The bad times of WD have actually faded so much in my memory that I can only remember myself remembering. I can't really remember how bad it was. This might seem positive, and it probably is (nobody wants to dwell forever). However, it can leave you a bit unguarded against yourself.

 

[Anomaly88]

Yeah, i know. IM good. Just woke up. hah. But yeah my sponsor relapsed a long time ago when he thought he didnt need meetings anymore. SO now thats all he does and lives for is the NA program. hah. So yeah i just try and keep it day by day and dont get too ahead of myself. And how my life became unmanageable while using keeps me from not going back out.. I still remember those bad times

 

[DexterMeth]

^Here's another reminder: Don't forget

WHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
*streamers erupt all over, vaya pops a bottle of sparkling cider and showers Anomaly with it*

Dude, you're fucking rocking it. Do you realize the magnitude of what you're doing? You're rocking it!! My most sincere and heartfelt congratulations to you.



Thank god this got addressed, thank you Dexter.
When times become good, it's unreal how simple it is to forget how bad things were, and why you should in fact step up participation in the program during good times because we are the most vulnerable to relapse when we feel we're okay and safe. Snap decisions are made easily and before you know it, you've relapsed.

At least, that's the script detailing my journeys. For some reason I'm having trouble finding a buyer for the movie rights. Probably because it's so damn depressing!!

We can make complicated the simplest of things, so here it is:
Don't forget what it was like. Under no circumstances. Ever.

But, shit, don't let me get this response all stoney and cold. You're hitting major milestones left and right.

*releases thirty balloons into the room*

~ vaya

Well put! I'd purchase one of your books if you wrote one.

 

[Anomaly88]

Man i got a speeding ticket the other day doing 45 in a 30. I could of sworn it was a 40. Didnt even notice i was speeding cause like ive been putting on cruise control and trying to check myself. But whatever. I didnt use over it. My dad was pissed. But i got over it and so did he.. I went paintballing today. I didnt think i would be that good since i havent played in like 5 or 6 years but i still got my skills :D i went with my friend. It was badass! I love it. Forgot how much i missed that shit. Biggest adrenaline rush and intense. I love that shit. It beats in high ive had. I got lit the fuck up a few times. hahaha. I got like 15 bruises/welts all over me from rushing so much. But i like the pain im weird like that. haha. It was a ball though! Cant wait to go again in a few weeks. On another note my sponsee brother pretty much. A good friend of mine got into a bad bike accident and broke his back and ribs and all this other shit and im gunna visit him at the hospital tomorrow. But i was all stressing about that ticket and people have it way worse than what i have it. So i remained positive and any days a good day if i dont put drugs on it. Soooo im doing fine and dandy! Its weird i had this feeling like bad shit was gunna happen sooner or later and finally it snuck up on me. But i managed to pull through! 36 days today :D 37 days in 10 minutes

 

[Vaya]

Anomaly, congratulations bud That's wonderful news (the 37 days, that is... )

I'm sorry to hear about your friend! Yikes... sounds awful. I think some gratitude is in order, though, for two things: 1.) He's alive, and 2.) You're sober and able to go and visit him! What a gift! When I was using, my regards might be with an injured friend... but I would be at home nodding the fuck out. I'm really impressed with your attitude :D

Keep the faith...

~ Vaya

 

[DexterMeth]

Man i got a speeding ticket the other day doing 45 in a 30. I could of sworn it was a 40. Didnt even notice i was speeding cause like ive been putting on cruise control and trying to check myself. But whatever. I didnt use over it. My dad was pissed. But i got over it and so did he.. I went paintballing today. I didnt think i would be that good since i havent played in like 5 or 6 years but i still got my skills :D i went with my friend. It was badass! I love it. Forgot how much i missed that shit. Biggest adrenaline rush and intense. I love that shit. It beats in high ive had. I got lit the fuck up a few times. hahaha. I got like 15 bruises/welts all over me from rushing so much. But i like the pain im weird like that. haha. It was a ball though! Cant wait to go again in a few weeks. On another note my sponsee brother pretty much. A good friend of mine got into a bad bike accident and broke his back and ribs and all this other shit and im gunna visit him at the hospital tomorrow. But i was all stressing about that ticket and people have it way worse than what i have it. So i remained positive and any days a good day if i dont put drugs on it. Soooo im doing fine and dandy! Its weird i had this feeling like bad shit was gunna happen sooner or later and finally it snuck up on me. But i managed to pull through! 36 days today :D 37 days in 10 minutes

lol dude, I think your new addiction is driving too fast. That's the second post in like a week or so about you and speed. So funny. Be careful dude. I used to drive really fast everywhere too. There's no rush to get anywhere. You have your whole life ahead of you.

 

[n3ophy7e]

Anomaly I'm so proud of you man, you're doing brilliantly Keep the updates comin'!

lol
Please do us all a favor and don't ever pick up a skateboard.

Lol is that because I'd probably crash and die? :D

 

[ms4104]

I used to skate a lot back in the day. We even have some free parks here, but long boarding is where it's at for me now. -Sector 9..like a chump

Hell yeah I was never really into skateboarding. I actually grew up doing BMX so I was always around skateparks and shit. But I do skateboard now.. not like stunts and crap, but it's like you said, straight up longboarding. I live in NYC and that is my form of transportation. It's fucking fantastic. It's SOOOO much quicker than walking or running because you don't have to stop to catch your breath. I don't ride an actually long board but it's longer and wider than your typical skateboard with 64mm wheels and 1/4 inch risers. It's a fucking awesome commuter board. I guess maybe its a mini longboard? lol. It's a 30" GFH Dirty-Thirty. I got it off craigslist for $70 brand new from this fat skank who probably thought she was gonna be hardcore and just busted her ass. It looks like she rolled down her driveway once lol.

I remember back in the day my old skateboard had hard small wheels on it and like tiny pebbles would fuckin throw me off the board. This thing has nice big soft wheels, I can run over whatever, and it's small/manouverable to go off curbs and shit. I can ollie but I am not comfortable doing it.. half the time I fuck it up. So if I am flying down a hill in NYC theres no chance in hell I am going to ollie up a curb bust my ass and watch 100 people laugh at me.. luckily everythign is handicapt accessible around nyc lol. The only trick under my belt is a pop shove-it and like I said my ollie skills are pretty bad so it's rare that I land that and roll away.

All I know is it feels sooooooo good just flying down an NYC street carving your way in and out of cars. I would like to hit up a skatepark like when theres noone there so I can bust my ass without being embarrased. I just feel like it'd be SO cool to be carving a pool and shit like that. Landing a trick on a skateboard feels so much better than on a bike, I don't know why. ANd it's mad easy to bring on the subway or whatever. All my dope dealers know me at the skateboard kid.. if I was to call from a random number i'd just be like yo it's the white kid with the skateboard. When I cop around Brooklyn for some reason having my skateboard makes me feel safer.. like i am a local or something. I can't say the same about Paterson, because no matter what you stand out like a sore thumb.. at least in BK there's MAD white college kids and shit and a lot of spanish and light skinned..its not totally black so you are not a piece of salt in a bowl of pepper like in Ptown or Newark. lol.

I am way more than old enough to drive..it's just that number one I have a dui on record and #2 I live in the city so public trans is awesome). It'd cost me 1500 for 6 months for insurance.. and I can't justify paying that when there is a train 1 block away which connects to fucking like everything in the country lol. Not to mention parking is a bitch and if you pay for a spot that's another 120 monthly.

P.S.
YOU ARE doing fucking great man. Props to ya. I can only dream of accomplishing what you have accomplished.

Man i got a speeding ticket the other day doing 45 in a 30. I could of sworn it was a 40. Didnt even notice i was speeding cause like ive been putting on cruise control and trying to check myself. But whatever. I didnt use over it. My dad was pissed. But i got over it and so did he.. I went paintballing today. I didnt think i would be that good since i havent played in like 5 or 6 years but i still got my skills :D i went with my friend. It was badass! I love it. Forgot how much i missed that shit. Biggest adrenaline rush and intense. I love that shit. It beats in high ive had. I got lit the fuck up a few times. hahaha. I got like 15 bruises/welts all over me from rushing so much. But i like the pain im weird like that. haha. It was a ball though! Cant wait to go again in a few weeks. On another note my sponsee brother pretty much. A good friend of mine got into a bad bike accident and broke his back and ribs and all this other shit and im gunna visit him at the hospital tomorrow. But i was all stressing about that ticket and people have it way worse than what i have it. So i remained positive and any days a good day if i dont put drugs on it. Soooo im doing fine and dandy! Its weird i had this feeling like bad shit was gunna happen sooner or later and finally it snuck up on me. But i managed to pull through! 36 days today :D 37 days in 10 minutes

See bro that is just wonderful. You are getting out and having good clean fun. It was always in my head like shit lke fishing, paintballing, etc.. wouldnt be fun without smoking weed (atleast), but during my clean time's I have realized that shit is as fun if not more fun. It is very possible to be happy and have a fun life without drugs.. drugs give you this distorted view while you are dependant/addicted that there is no life after drugs.

But what you are doing is great, you are filling the massive gap left from discontinuing drug use with an athletic sport. Supreme man you are tackling this shit good.

 

[VanWeyden]

^^ massive kudos! Don't lose track and become careless now, as the others said. That was the exact reason I relapsed on December 17th, 2011. So today that's fucking 3 months clean for me. Yay!!!

IME days that are supposed to be great don't keep up with the expectations. Nonetheless you have a lot to be proud about!

 

[Anomaly88]

Thanks for all the support yall! and yeah im pretty proud but not trying to get ahead of myself cause ive heard a lot of people relapse that way. So just day by day and baby steps. But for real. I feel like i dont ever wanna use again. Like every bone in my body. I dont want that shit. fuckkkkk that! & yeah i drive too fast :[[[[

 

[Anomaly88]

Man monday some guy hit my car when i was parked at school with his door. It was real windy and i guess it was an accident. I see a note on my car and he left his name and number. Turned it into the insurance today. Seems like all this bad shit is just piling up on me but ah well. Im being positive about it. & im not really too upset. Im learning to handle things differently. Such an eye opener...

 

[KAYLA2010]

That sucks. How bad is the damage.

 

[DexterMeth]

@:Anomaly: "Seems like all this bad shit is just piling up on me but ah well."
^Bad shit has always been piling up and will continue. You're just aware of it now. No biggy man.

Lol is that because I'd probably crash and die? :D

Ya, I don't want you getting hurt now. I say learn to surf first.

 

[Anomaly88]

Yeah i know :] its not too bad. Just kinda bugs me cause its a brand new car. only a year old. 2011 hyundai elantra. Its like a little tiny dent and its got white paint on my black car so its noticeable. I notice it cause its my baby and i take good care of it :] but its like 350$ worth of damage to fix. But his insurance is paying for it all so no worries. The ticket that i got the officer hasnt turned it into the court so no way i can do anything about it yet... Hope he doesnt turn it in -_- haha but he prolly will. On the plus side ive gained 20 pounds since ive been clean :D 140 lbs now hahah. Thats the most ive ever been pp But man i eat like so much now! Im always hungry. seems like a never get full. hah. So that is a problem. Gotta eat like every hour or two or my stomache it just killing me. I try to eat like 4-6 meals on a good day. haha.

 

[DexterMeth]

Veggies, white meat, carbs and lots of exercise

 

[Anomaly88]

Im trying to gain weight though -_-