BDD Social and Info Booth Vs 29 -Yeah! SCIENCE, BITCH!

[Mass08]

3 grams of diazepam? Dude if these numbers are true your GABA receptors are gonna be fried for life lol. Either way I appreciate the message.

 

[laCster]

Yo Cster. How ya' livin?

Loll I was kind of nodding off last night

I'm doing really good atm, smoked a blunt to the dome and now finishing up the rest of.my weed. I feel quite good and have a nice buzz from bupre tooo

What's up Pagey, smoke, Toz, Scag, and everyone else? Im feeling very nice of low dose of bupre, around 3-4 rum mixed drinks, 5mg diazepam, weeeeds hahahaha, 75mg dph, and many ciggs. I smoke too much on alcohol, but I'm feeling amazing.

 

[smokemctoke420]

Aww dude, no
How long have you been trying to quit if I may ask?

Okay so I could use a bit of advice - I'm gonna have access to all my usual drugs again starting tomorrow, but I'm really determined to quit the IV speedballing because it's seriously starting to fuck me up. The goal is to go back to snorting heroin and that's it (and then I'll think about quitting heroin, or only using occasionally, but I'm not trying to get 100% clean right now). Dyou think it would be better to stop the speedballs/coke or the IV'ing first?

of course it would be wise to stop the speedballs. take it one step at a time good luck pagey

@pally- if thats not a typo then good luck with all the problems coming your way when you quit lol its gonna suckkk

im drunk as fuck, ive drank 3/4 of a pint of bacardi gold to night plus some weeds. gonna sip a little wine thats in the fridge.

i should go to bed soon doe. ive been up since 5:30am

 

[hangyourhead]

I AM GEEKED TONIGHT MY BELOVED SOCIABLES!

Started off with 2mg alprazolam and 200mg shot of H earlier this evening.

Heard from my buddy saying he needed a place to stay for a couple days and he's stocked with Ketamine and Methylone. IV Methylone is a fucking rush, but the urge to redose can be annoying. Some more alprazolam and Ketamine should wind me down for the night, maybe some weeds too.

Got a job interview tomorrow morning at 10am at Chipotle, luckily my buddy staying here is prescribed Vyvanse haha.

WUTZ GUT?! laC, Pagey, Capt. H, Toz, Smoke, Mista Scag, Mass08, pally pete ect. ?!

 

[laCster]

Lol you must he drunk as fuck smoke hahah


Hangyourhd, I'm fucking jealous, methylone and ketamine you bastard :

 

[pally pete]

Not to be mean or snarky but how is 300mg alprazolam possible?
And even if it were, how would it be possible to quit that kinda habit CT without dying, considering I had 2 seizures from getting off what appears to be a mere 15mg xanax habit CT?
I'm just trying to understand if you just made a few typos in a row, which seems unlikely, or if my understanding of the human body and what it can handle is being redefined.

3000mg of diazepam..? 300mg's of alprazolam? Really?

That's pretty outrageous, man.

No worries, I dont feel like you are being mean or snarky, I used to spend my weekends taking handfuls of Benzos (20 tabs at a time) every couple of hours while at the same time keeping a drug diary (writing down the time of dose, quantity, and which Benzo) Although it wasn't something I really needed to do as I would start the weekend with said quantity of Benzos and would end the weekend with 30x10 empty blister packets.

I do realise many of you will scoff at this but eating 300 pills a weekend really didn't seem that crazy at the time, obviously it was extremely reckless and I count myself lucky to be alive but due to the subtle nature of Benzos I literally sleep walked my tolerance into the sky, bear in mind when I first started taking Benzos I would use either 40mg Diazepam or 3-4mg Alprazolam to get wanted effects so I had what most would call an already high natural tolerance.

As for the seizure comments, I just guess I have an extremely high seizure threshold, I may be a freak of nature, I dont know... I also may add that if somebody was saying all this to me before I had any tolerance I would not have believed them, so for all those doubters I completely understand where your coming from, but please take into account that human bodies are capable of many unbelievable science defying feats, even if most others experiences tells them different, for instance your seizures off a 15mg a day Xanax habit.

I have luckily never had a seizure although I have experienced some quite severe twitching amongst the torrent of withdrawals, maybe the one saving grace was that my habit was never of daily abuse, just weekend abuse, apart from the one time during summer 2010 when I was using around 30mg Alprazolam daily for a month and quit July 24th and then experienced some pretty extreme derealisation, I managed to stay clean around 7 weeks that time but then fell off the wagon September 10th and have battled addiction ever since!

I did manage to get my tolerance down to the point where I would use 100-300mg Diazepam every 4 - 7 days during 2012 and then jumped off completely on December 27th/28th and have not used any Benzos since Unfortunately I also had an Oxy habit aswell (again not daily abuse) which I quit that day but I tried using Dihydrocodeine to taper (Which seems completey contradictory as I didn't taper from Benzos) which I last used on January 5th.

I am not proud of my abuse, I am extremely ashamed and regretful of what I have done, I really hope and pray whoever reads this post does not see it in the sense that I am bragging about my exploits... I have no reason to lie, I wish I could say that I only ever used Benzos sensibly, but that would be a lie, I dont usually talk about my abuse in detail on the board as I understand the main aim of the forum is harm reduction, and I wouldn't want anybody to think my behaviour is normal, safe or acceptable, I realise this is not the case.

I do worry that I have messed myself up beyond repair, but I'm currently having my longest period of abstinence since I became addicted. I have many Benzo related blackout tales but I would be here all day....... The most memorable one was when I was on holiday 6000 miles from home and I turned up at the airport in a state of distress thinking I had missed my flight home when infact I wasn't due home for another week! I subsiquently lost my luggage, had to deal with foreign transport police who could barely understand me, rang my Mum who could barely understand me, my luggage was then found only for me to lose it again. Hopefully this gives you some idea of the sate I was in although my Benzo intake was not massive I had mixed it with a lot of Doxylamine which didn't help.

I hope I've covered everything?

 

[HeadphonesandLSD]

Chillin with my home boy/fellow bluelighter. Going to watch the Daytona 500 with him and some other friends tomorrow, bout to have my last beer of the night and smoke a bowl. Maybe catch a few hours sleep then wake up around 11am.

Good morning all.

 

[Pagey]

pally pete, that's absolutely insane. Had no idea it was possible to take that high doses, feeling kinda impressed by the human body right now hah. And congrats on kicking such a massive habit, can't imagine what it must have been like.

How's it going guys? I just got back to London and the first thing I did was call my dealer, it's pathetic buuuut I didn't get any coke this time so there's progress at least.

 

[Mass08]

man i want some dope

 

[hangyourhead]

Nice to wake up with a gorgeous girl in my bed, shot of heroin, coffee, and Vyvanse.

Mornin' fools

 

[Pagey]

^Livin' the life eh

 

[hydroazuanacaine]

morning, everyone! after about 2 weeks off, i picked up some roxy this weekend. has been nice. and still is for this pleasant sunday. goes well with coffee.


no gorgeous girl in my bed though.

 

[hangyourhead]

Pagey, I was down and out for awhile, but lately I have been "livin' the life", well... to an extent haha. I'm stoked to be getting interviews and most of all, a very possible job with a couple of my buddies at a burrito joint. I've been doing some laborious work on the parts of my parent's home that needs renovation which I'm getting a decent pay for because my dad knows I'm out of work.

Hydroaz, my Sunday is also going quite well with some coffee. And good conversation!

Other than some extra paper I have to spend, my friends have been looking out on stims, methylone, ketamine, potent marijuana and hash, and benzos (mainly alprazolam and clonazepam). So I am truly grateful! I will return the favor once I get some paychecks coming my way.

Threw in 1mg alprazolam, .5 clonazepam, ~80mgs of Vyvanse into the mix. Just smoked a bowl, kickin' everything in, feeling Gucci! My dude wants to get some more heroin. I wouldn't say no haha, but it's not critical at this point. As most of you know, it's not easy to just stick to being chipper of IV dope... :/

 

[smokemctoke420]

Lol you must he drunk as fuck smoke hahah


Hangyourhd, I'm fucking jealous, methylone and ketamine you bastard :

ha. yeah, drunk as fuck is being nice to. i was towwwwww upp. lol i guess i went to go have a fap sessio while hammered and i must have passed out right after i busted a nut or something cuz i woke up naked from the waste down. first thing i said to myself was "damn i must have been wasted". glad i woke up at 5am and got dressed and my sister didnt come to wake me up or something. i can only imagine the convos that would stem from that haha guess i shouldnt have started slamming alcohol like that. i have no control once i start tho, ive always been a fast drinker.

i walked downstairs to make sure i didnt leave out anything i shouldnt have or something else that my dad would be pissed at when he woke up cuz i planned on coming back downstairs to get on here but i passed out cuz i was up for 22 hours straight on 4 hours of previous drunk sleep.

i come downstairs and bluelight is up, musics going, lights are on and my empty bottle is just chillin on the counter so i cleaned up everything and went to bed. im glad im going to work in a week, 2 max. i get up at 5am 6 days a week from next week till november so i only got 1 night a week to drink.

i dont think i mentioned this before but my whole family knows im doing oxy now. my mom called me out after i ran out of my stash last week or whenever it was. she says i need to stop doing what im doing and all this other shit. she told my sister and my brother in law and my brother in law, who has 5 years clean said he doesnt want me doing this either and that i can come to him and talk to him and he will keep it secret, unless im a immediate danger to myself or someone else. ive gone back to oxy use in the last 9 months and i couldnt stop picking up when the refill is here every 3 weeks. i wanted to talk to someone but i felt like i couldnt. he said that hurt him cuz i could have talked to him the whole time but i didnt want to disappoint him.

so pretty much my whole family knows ive been fucking up but its also been pointed out that im not back where i was in 2007-2010, rehab, detox, OD and all that shit, and im not where my sister is right now but i could very well be there. i gotta straighten up while i still got the chance.

i talked to a friend of mine for about an hour last night about this since he knows my whole using situation. ive also got his support which is nice.

i dont wanna go through this next 8-9 months of work with nothing to show again. im getting roxis when the refill gets here on the 4th. my mom will be gone for that week anyway and ill be using most of them at work. he can call me out at home and even tho he works with me, he doesnt think im blantant enough to do oxy at work, shit he doesnt even know i blaze at work or he would get me fired cuz im always driving equipment or working with heavy machinery. my boss supervisor knows but doesnt really care that i blaze since he knows i dont act like a fool after. anyways, ill be able to get away with using the oxy at work and some at home as long as i dont blantantly nod face in front of him.

ive also got it drilled in my head that im saving a certain amount of loot everytime i get paid. with all my expenses recreational money i will have very little to get oxy with. no more then 5 every 3 weeks. ill be skipping weeks to. i dont have to worry about getting my coworker that has a bad back, roxis to since he has my dudes number now. so if i dont wanna pick up i dont have to be tempted by getting him some.

idk, im not gonna be using oxy like i was when i worked there last summer, ive also lost the one connect i had at worked for norcos so thats good.

i didnt mean to have this be this long but i had to get it off my chest.

gonna go hop in the shower, get high af, and clean the house before my dad comes back from getting my mom in baltimore.

 

[Mass08]

Sup Everyone? How was your sunday? Pretty relaxing day for me, bought a gram of some very strong heroin. Did a fat shot and spent the day snowblowing and studying for my upcoming physics and biochemistry exams this week.

Had a large check come in for me today, already starting the battle of how the hell I'm going to avoid buying cocaine with some of it.


P.S. How do we access the BL tinychat?

 

[Toz]

Sup Everyone? How was your sunday? Pretty relaxing day for me, bought a gram of some very strong heroin. Did a fat shot and spent the day snowblowing and studying for my upcoming physics and biochemistry exams this week.

Had a large check come in for me today, already starting the battle of how the hell I'm going to avoid buying cocaine with some of it.


P.S. How do we access the BL tinychat?

Shooting heroin and studying I used to do that too once, then I started shooting more heroin and studying less. Eventually it all failed, though I have picked it up again now after several years. My sunday was sober but still fine, took a long walk down to the beach and across the icy lake. The weather was (and still is) awesome

Today though I am picking up alot of weed and I've ordered some ketamine that should arrive tomorrow hopefully. I've never done ketamine and that + hydromorphone are the only 2 drugs I am interested in trying. After that, I am done, there is nothing else exciting that I haven't already tried.

edit: forgot crystal meth, have only tried the powder form, would love to try what you have in the states

 

[Pagey]

^ Enjoy the ketamine, it's a fun drug
I'm really happy with myself, I still haven't bought more coke. I've only been back in London since yesterday, but still. So that means I've been speedball-less for almost 10 days
Plus last night I snorted my H rather than shooting it. Progress progress.

 

[hatrix]

Good to hear Pagey.

Man, you guys all have some struggles you're going thru with these habits. I'm glad that (for now at least) I don't have any habits to speak of. I just do drugs when I have them lol.

Tonight I'll probably be plugging ~125mg of 4-FA or so. Maybe even 150mg. I have 1mg of xanax left and can't refill until Thursday. Last refill too but Thursday is also the day I visit the doctor so we will see about that..

 

[laCster]

What's up everyone?

I'm feeling quite speedy today. Took a good break off amps and now I feel that magic again. Eating some Greek yogurt and smoking ciggs. Then weeds weeds weeds valium bupre cig cig cig weeds weeds weeds

 

[hatrix]

Going to get my hands on some buprenorphine soon here Actually in the form of Suboxone films but hey I have like no tolerance so it'll still do me gooooood.