Ask an Escort- by XtcgrlATL

[xtcgrlatl]

People that kill hookers never get caught. And thats not a coincendence.

Most "hookers" that get killed are of the streetside variety. They're more accessible and less likely to have safeguards in place.

and all of these people who keep congratulating you because your selling your pussy, you know that they're all full of shit because if their mother/sister was doing it, they wouldn't be telling them they "have a great head on their shoulders

Most people have very wrong perception of the business. They can't separate the images they see on TV of the streetwalkers on cops or maybe they saw the HBO special "Hookers on the Point".

That's a million miles removed from what I do. It's kind of like how people often have a fucked up perception of "drugs" wherein all drugs are basically heroin or crack and even coming near a "drug" is an instant path to destruction.

Everyone only hears about the sad stories and failures. No one hears about the people that do drugs responsibly, or the girls that escort for a few years, then start their own business with the money and quietly slip back into mainsteam a little bit more up the totem pole then they started off.

 

[xtcgrlatl]

Update for brickhouse
"

Our relationships with our parents are the base foundation of a persons life.

Many of us in this situation (as a current escort) did not either have nurturing parents or they had parents that due to their own emotional, financial or addiction issues did not offer us support so we in turn turned to this.

This is not to say that this is necessarily a bad enviroment, this industry can be made a very good situation due to advertising and saving owns money to allow ownself to launch oneself to an alternative path.

This business can create an empowered women whom in other circumstances might be powerless.

I myself would not want my daughter to have to go through the pitfalls and ups and downs that I had in this business.

On the other hand, through knowledge and self improvement I have managed to market myself in a way that has enabled me a pretty fantastic life and alot of goodness and self confidence in this business.

I do not wish to stay in this business forever but I definitely feel that if my parents (both mother and father) had their acts together and created an enviroment of stability and guidance for me then I would never have entered into this business.

One thing that strikes me all the time is that people have an overwhelming need to feel "safe" and for many of them, thinking outside the box makes them feel unsafe. They would rather cling to stereotypical, narrow-minded, bias and/or completely illogical beliefs than to feel uncertain about the best ways to live in this crazy world.

This guy and most of mainstream society believe that escorting is bad because it feels safer to believe that. It feels safer to believe that man + woman fall in love, get married, have babies and go to church on Sundays and holidays. If someone is willing or able to go against that, such as an escort, to his way of thinking it must be because something was defective in the escort's upbringing. If he allowed himself to believe otherwise his entire way of looking at the world and himself would be threatened.

That being said, I had a troubled relationship with my father. He wasn't there for me for most of my growing up years, physically, emotionally or financially. We are close now and I love him dearly but some people shouldn't have children. Does this have anything to do with my becoming an escort? I dunno.

Who we are and why we do the things we do, escort or civilian, are complicated. There are no easy answers to any of it.

I got an email the other day from some guy that made me feel a number of ways. He was pretty much trying to talk me, as well as many other girls he sent the email to I'm sure, out of "doing this to ourselves".

I understood where he was coming from in a way, as I'm sure there are girls in this industry who may not want to be here, but who are here for reasons they may feel they can't help. It also upset me, because I like what I do and chose this from my own free will, as I'm sure plenty of other girls have as well. He has no right prying into the lives and business of women who decide to take the path seen as less "honorable" by most, judging and trying to play out some 'fantasy' of 'saving' us.

He's just one of many who don't understand why we do what we do, nor will he try to I'm sure, which is different in every case. People who don't understand or who don't care to understand, tend to be very judgemental to say the least.

It's funny how people are so curious to know "why" and "how" but they tend to be so narrow minded to even aweknowledge our response past their already assumed beliefs.

One of my friends, who I thought was a close friend, just recently told me exactly how she felt about what I do in a fight we were having. It's not her ignorance and the things she was saying that hurt me, but the fact that someone I trusted and considered very close to me could intentionally be so directly hurtful. I do like what I do, and wouldn't do it otherwise, but even among people we think we can trust and who we think won't judge us, it's hard to know how they really feel, if they're hiding their true feelings and just smiling to our faces.

Anyway, to answer your question; I lost my dad when I was 13, and had a step father for about 7 years after that, who I still communicate with occasionally even though he and my mom are no longer together. I really doubt, though, that this had anything to do with it. I never felt obligated to do this, like I didn't have any other choice, or like I couldn't amount to much more than "this". I don't feel like I have daddy issues, & I don't think I've been 'broken' in any other way that may have caused me to do this. I know that some girls are forced into this, some at very young ages, but I most ceraintly am not one of them!!

I have an excellent dad-what I do has nothing to do with my relationship.

I feel soooo fortunate that I cant honestly say I have an exceptional dad. He is simply the best man Ive ever known. Hes a great provider, he stuck with my mom through some serious mental issues, he supports everything I do, he was my coach in softball and basketball for 10 years and he has NEVER done anything to upset or disapoint me. He encourages me to do whatever makes me happy, hes always made me feel happy and secure. Even when I did some shitty things in highschool he never judged me or made me feel like crap.
I dont mean to be boastful, I just tell every one how great he is.
Every one has different reasons for doing this and its pretty ignorant of that guy to sum it up to a bad relationship w dad.
Hes also nieve if he thinks his daughter would never do this.
I know a girl whos parents give her 1000 per week for whatever and pay her tuition and bills and she still works.
One has nothing to do with the other, tell that guy hes an ass

He is the man who made my live a living hell. No kidding. He lives in Germany and was raised by Hitler (the expression my brothers and I use when we talked about him). Lives as a pure scientist who doesn't know how to have fun and live. Yes, he is a German man and he is our biological father. He sent us to certain type of schooling that makes us not knowing how to be a normal children/teenagers. I have 3 older brothers and I am the youngest. I didn't finish my PhD. just to piss him off. He physically and emotionally abuse us when we were little. I haven't talked to him for months and I know he didn't miss me either. No, he doesn't give a damn if I work for a big corporate or work as a street walker. In his eyes, I am just a failure anyway. He said it. I forgive him for all he'd done to me in the past. I respect him still but not sure if I love him (I'll try). If it is not because of my mother who is my best friend who I adore/love dearly and still marries him for these many years, I have no desire to speak to him ever again.

Let me say again, in my case. No, my father didn't have any influence at all in me finding my way to sex work. I do not choose this line of bizz to make him mad either, not at all. Simply I know that he just doesn't give a damn about me.

I know 100% that my decision to begin this work has nothing at all to do with my relationship with my father.

I was abandoned when I was a child at an early age by my mother (2yrs old). My father was incarcerated before I was even born. I did not meet him until I was 12 years old. At that time I was living with my Grandmother (bless her soul) and hadn't seen my mother in two years. When she finally showed up I asked her point blank who my father was (I didn't even know his name) and she told me. It took her less than 10 minutes to get him on the phone.

Needless to say, I have a relationship with my father now. He is a good man. I have spent several years trying to get to know him and my step brothers and sister. However, it will never be the kind of relationship I COULD have had with my father or my siblings. They had and have their own life and it's sad to say that I have always been an afterthought to them. The choices my parents both made were rotten in all shapes and ways. But I continue to live my life not in the past and what I went through to be the person I am today. I am strengthened by the fact that I lived through it and have a wonderful family of my own.

My decision to become an escort had nothing to do with my "daddy". I'm a secure and happy woman and although I did lack the parental relationships in my life it is not the reason I make the decisions I do today as an adult.

I have a GREAT relationship with BOTH of my parents.

My whole family as a matter of fact. I chose to do this because I knew it was the fastest way for me to make the most amount of money in the little time I actually had to work outside of my college classes. Now that I am done with school and have a good mainstream job, I have cut back dramatically on my hobby activities. I have even gone to a "massage only" menu once again, giving up on the escorting part. If the mainstream job could pay my bills 100% I would leave this in a heart beat. I still have a little while before that happens though.

My family had NO influence whatsoever in what I am doing. I chose to do this on my own, and I did come from a very loving environment. My parents are still together in a loving relationship after 36yrs of marriage and they have always been supportive of me in every way they could. They don't know about this side of me though, and I am pretty sure if they did, they would not approve.

 

[PlacentaJuan]

sorry to be clueless here, but what is "greek"?

also.

i just got done trolling several major cities' CL - erotic services section and i didnt see a single ad that my gut told me wasn't shady in one way or another. everything from all caps to posted phone numbers to pics i'm pretty sure i've seen elsewhere on the vast and infinite net. without giving away too much, is there a way to tell whats shady and whats not?

heh
Greek=anal sex
French=Oral sex.

XTCGrrrl-Do you swallow when giving a blowjob? Unless the guy wants to give you a facial or cum in your mouth? Do you charge extra to swallow or have a guy cum in your mouth?

 

[xtcgrlatl]

XTCGrrrl-Do you swallow when giving a blowjob?

No, I usually get off the volcano right as it's about to blow and let them go on their stomach.

Unless the guy wants to give you a facial or cum in your mouth? Do you charge extra to swallow or have a guy cum in your mouth?

I don't really allow facials I've always been kind of icked out by having pretty much anything on my face, like food for instance, plus I'm sure a facial would mean "in my hair" which means "the next hour and a half is devoted to washing, drying, and straightening my hair. My hair is like down to my butt, so it takes forever to get it the way I want.

On the boobies is ok by me, in fact thats what I encourage if the guy is over top of me. Just not in my mouth, not on the bed and not in my hair

 

[0000alphabet0000]

What type(s) of birth control do you use? Do you take bc pills to get rid of your period? If not, do you have sex while on your period?

When did you first lose your virginity? To whom did you lose it (bf, random, trick, etc)?

Do you masturbate? Did you masturbate before you started escorting?

Please explain why you are a "girl next door" type.

 

[PlacentaJuan]

How many men have you been with?

When you say that you've been with girls but yet you're still straight how does that work out? Was it like having a 3 way with a man and a woman but not having sex with the woman at all?

Have you ever been arrested for being a prostitute?

How often do you get checked for STDs?

Do you have herpes or HPV (warts) since most people have them?

Do you feel jaded or damaged or fucked up because of doing sex work?

 

[PlacentaJuan]

by asking how many men you've been with I mean how many men both for pay when you had sex with them and not for pay.

 

[xtcgrlatl]

What type(s) of birth control do you use? Do you take bc pills to get rid of your period? If not, do you have sex while on your period?

Well there's the obvious condoms and I get "the shot" every few months. Just due to forgetfulness and my often erratic schedule I tend to forget pills every now and then and you're supposed to take them at the same time every day for them to work their best and I sucked it up at that big time. I'm a pretty light bleeder, but I still try to avoid working on days when I think it might get messy, it's embarrassing when things don't go perfectly regardless of how understanding the client is.

When did you first lose your virginity? To whom did you lose it (bf, random, trick, etc)?

Age 18, kind of, my first time getting sexual was actually with a girl so maybe some wouldn't count it, though I do. Age 20 was my first time with a guy. I had relationships with both of them. I thought of myself at bi for a while because I am open to the idea of being with other women, I just don't pursue it and never really think about it.

Do you masturbate?

Nope. Well not like regularly, the last time was like 2 months ago. Uhr...well unless doing it in front of a client who asks counts but that's for entertainment purposes only.

Did you masturbate before you started escorting?

Occasionally. Not really very often. Maybe once a month or so.

Please explain why you are a "girl next door" type.

A lot of escorts put on a kind of "diva/sex goddess" image. I dont really try and do that. I go for more like "very accomodating and eager girlfriend". My reviews seem to reflect that I do that pretty well. I'm a real smiley, friendly, laid back type and try to come across as such in my ad's. I don't wear makeup, I don't get dressed up in like corsets and thigh highs (unless I am requested otherwise ahead of time I tend to just wear a little black nightie). When I do the occasional outcall I dress totally casual in like jeans and a nice shirt.

 

[xtcgrlatl]

How many men have you been with?

Somewhere in the neighborhood of 700 for pay. Honestly I can't say I've kept track so that's a guess, give or take a hundred.

Just for fun or on dates, like 7ish.

When you say that you've been with girls but yet you're still straight how does that work out? Was it like having a 3 way with a man and a woman but not having sex with the woman at all?

No, I've been exclusively with women before. Like I said in the previous post I am open to the idea of being with a woman but it's not something I really think about so I think in some ways it would be inaccurate to use the term "bisexual".

Have you ever been arrested for being a prostitute?

The cops wrote me a citation for it and I had to get booked like a month later and then and go to court, but they didnt cuff me and haul me in or anything. Does that count as arrested?

How often do you get checked for STDs?

This one's been touched on already, basically like never except for one time in September because it was court ordered. I was clear and I haven't shown any symptoms of anything since. I should honestly be getting checked like every 3 months but the truth is I'm scared of bad news.

Do you have herpes or HPV (warts) since most people have them?

Not to my knowledge

Do you feel jaded or damaged or fucked up because of doing sex work?

Not really. I feel liberated and enterprising The only "negative" effect has been that I am now more open to casual sex and that openness has caused some problems where I've tended to let guys I know and like cross some boundaries that I probably should have been clearer with. I've had sex with 2 male friends that are no longer friends because they decided that it was a step towards a relationship and I wasn't interested in that. They kind of cuddled up to me and things progressed from there, part of me was like "You should stop this" but part of me kinda went into eager to please escort mode.

Drugs were also involved so maybe I can't completely blame escorting for that

But it's definitely loosened my boundaries.

 

[0000alphabet0000]

I'm a pretty light bleeder, but I still try to avoid working on days when I think it might get messy, it's embarrassing when things don't go perfectly regardless of how understanding the client is.

I asked because you said you said you have a light client load at the end and beginning of the month and I was wondering if your period had anything to do with it.

I guess my follow up question would be: have you considered birth control that stops your period so you could make extra $$? Or do you like having that break?

 

[Rogue Robot]

One time back in like november. I should make myself go more often, the one time was court ordered. But to be honest I'm not inclined to hear bad news so until I show some actual symptoms of something I try not to think about it.

I'm sorry, but you are being totally irresponsible here. Just because you don't have symptoms of an STI doesn't mean you don't have it. In the meantime, while you're being incredibly selfish, you could be passing on an STI to another person who might inadvertently pass it on to a partner or a future partner. It's your duty, as being part of the sex industry, to help stop the spread of STIs.

Please go get yourself tested more frequently, and please stop being so selfish in saying that you don't want to hear the bad news. Nobody wants to hear that they have an STI, but many of us who aren't escorts get tested on a regular basis Surely there are free clinics in your area that provide STI screening for a minimal fee or free.

 

[ControlDenied]

you just lost yourself a lot of customers baby

 

[xtcgrlatl]

I asked because you said you said you have a light client load at the end and beginning of the month and I was wondering if your period had anything to do with it.

No, I mean I guess it impacts my decision to work on certain days but mostly I mean in call volume. Like in the middle of the month I'll get 15-20 calls a day. But at the beginning and end of the month I notice a reduction in call volume. I'm guessing because people are paying their bills around that time. Or maybe it has something to do with when their paychecks are issued. I dunno.

I guess my follow up question would be: have you considered birth control that stops your period so you could make extra $$? Or do you like having that break?

I really haven't considered it. The impact on my overall financial gains by taking a few days off boil down to just a drop in the bucket. I'm pretty rarely like "man I wish I could work today" It doesn't take much to convince me to take the day off. The biggest perk is being able to make calls like that

 

[xtcgrlatl]

I'm sorry, but you are being totally irresponsible here.

Yes, I know.

 

[xtcgrlatl]

you just lost yourself a lot of customers baby

No I didn't. I'm not receiving any customers from bluelight and even were someone to solicit me I would turn them down. As I said in my first post I am not on the clock here and I meant that.

I might make people second guess seeing an escort in general but really that would qualify as contributing to harm reduction. My whole point in the condom thread was to make people second guess their no protection using behavior because girls like me are out there.

 

[Jabberwocky]

XTCgrl it really is kind of surprising/appalling that you don't get tested often, since you really do seem to be a smart girl with a good sensible head on your shoulders. Can you start doing it??? I'd like to think that BL helped you become more responsible...

peace and light,
andy

 

[Mariposa]

xtcgrl: if you do decide to get tested and you come back clean, have you considered working in a legal brothel in Nevada?

 

[xtcgrlatl]

xtcgrl: if you do decide to get tested and you come back clean, have you considered working in a legal brothel in Nevada?

I've heard mixed reviews of doing this from providers and honestly I dont think I'd want to move to nevada Been there a few times and dont care much for it. I've heard that this is legal in Rhode Island, i'd probably go to RI before going to nevada

 

[LoveAlways]

If you found out that you DO in fact have and STD/STI what would you do about it??

 

[xtcgrlatl]

XTCgrl it really is kind of surprising/appalling that you don't get tested often, since you really do seem to be a smart girl with a good sensible head on your shoulders. Can you start doing it??? I'd like to think that BL helped you become more responsible...

peace and light,
andy

I suppose I'll explain what's probably the semi-subconscious underlying reason for doing so.

For starters I'll go ahead and say that I do care what clients think of their experience. It's important for me that people leave feeling like they got their moneys worth. Not just in the hope that a good review will get posted, though I do enjoy reading my reviews (none of which say that I gave someone a scorching case of herpes or a bunch of warts on their dick so maybe that's a good sign ). I genuinely care about their experience with me and so I couldn't bring myself to do anything I knew was actually endangering someones health.

But, I did my research on all the STD's. I knew how common they are, I knew that some of them were not prevented (though risk lessened) with condoms. I know that it wouldn't be incredibly shocking for me to come back positive for something and I couldn't continue doing this knowing that.

Not knowing for sure makes me able to continue doing it with the mentality that we both know the risks involved. As it is, I can say "i was tested last fall and came back clear and I've not shown any symptoms of anything since" and that's good enough for...well...everyone so far. I mean like I said, I have people asking me to bareback with them as part of the trick or offering to pay extra for it so guys are definitely thinking with the small head when they're with me or thinking about seeing me.

And what it all really comes down to is that I need to continue being able to do this with a relatively clear conscience. I've put myself in a position where my tech skills are pretty out of date and I've not had a job that I'd want to put on my resume in like almost 4 years. Some company would probably hire me to do a desk job eventually but I don't think I can go back to that, i tried last year and life was miserable. I knew that the first week was going to suck, but it continued to suck just as much or possibly more until I decided to just quit showing up after a few months. I need to set an exit plan in motion that I can live with while paying off old debts and repairing/rebuilding my shitty credit, and to do that i need the money and I need the free time that this allows.

Selfish? Yeah. But I don't think anyone fools themselves into thinking that I am actually in this for anything but selfish reasons no matter how good of a time we have.