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April getting/staying sober thread v. April showers

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neversickanymore said:
when we use opiates for a long time at a high level we develop more opiate receptors. These stay active for a period of time after use is stopped. After an amount of time the receptors are retracted through the cell membrane of the cells they are associated with. When this happens we experience a full or almost full relief from the PAWS symptoms including an amazing clearing of the mind.. our mind then begins to be much more powerful and efficient and many if not all of the lingering physical symptoms disappear.[....]
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Didn't you come off a decent sized Xanax habit at the same time you quit opiates? What was your time frame like for that? I know it is impossible to isolate certain symptoms to certain withdrawals when you are kicking multiple substances at once and that the two classes of drugs share some common withdrawal symptoms but I'd love to here you own personal experience with it. I'm also dealing with an opiate/benzo problem.
 
neversickanymore said:
^when we use opiates for a long time at a high level we develop more opiate receptors. These stay active for a period of time after use is stopped. After an amount of time the receptors are retracted through the cell membrane of the cells they are associated with. When this happens we experience a full or almost full relief from the PAWS symptoms including an amazing clearing of the mind.. our mind then begins to be much more powerful and efficient and many if not all of the lingering physical symptoms disappear.
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How long did it take you for this to happen, NSA?
 
straightrazor said:
Didn't you come off a decent sized Xanax habit at the same time you quit opiates? What was your time frame like for that? I know it is impossible to isolate certain symptoms to certain withdrawals when you are kicking multiple substances at once and that the two classes of drugs share some common withdrawal symptoms but I'd love to here you own personal experience with it. I'm also dealing with an opiate/benzo problem.
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I did I will think about this and post a proper reply.



Space Firebird said:
How long did it take you for this to happen, NSA?
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For me it took four months and three weeks. What I have seen from some people on blue light is that about six or seven months is a good estimate for anyone who has been using for awhile. The pain doctor I talked with said just over seven months. I think he said seven months and a week. I think there is a thread about this in N&PD about this that may contain more information on this.
 
I have my first appointment with a D&A psychologist today. I guess I should start posting in the sober living area of this forum. Hi, everyone :)
 
neversickanymore said:
^ as far as I have seen, at least so far, its something that holds on for awhile. take a look at the addiction cycle and see where you are at and then identify things you can do to slip back to fine. are you a positive relapser, do you always relapse when things are going really good Z?
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neversick,
no, i relapse when things become too overwhelming to control with meditation, yoga, and art. But I've only had just over two years of clean time total. One was from 2008-2009, and one was this past 13 months. Before that I used for 15 years straight. So technically I've only relapsed once.

I don't want to use. Ultimately that may be my saving grace. My recovery is mine and mine alone--nobody asked me to sober up or forced me to get clean. I remember that when I'm feeling like I'm sinking too--that I have wanted this for over a year, and have accomplished it. To give up now would just obliterate my sense of strength and pride.

My doc is considering putting me on lyrica instead of gabapentin to help control my anxiety and help with pain issues. After my seizures the neurologist told me I could get a low dose of ativan to help with the anxiety and nightmares that my seizure meds have induced. Nothing good can come from taking benzos. Lyrica may be worth a try. Any experience with it, neversick (or anyone)?
 
neversickanymore said:
What is it that becomes overwhelming? <3
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stress from work (social worker)
stress from school (getting a second masters)
stress from my health (before it was ptsd, now i've been diagnosed with epilepsy)
pressure to publish writing/get in photo shows
family obligations--i have neices an nephews, parents who are getting older, and siblings who are getting increasingly crazy as we all age. I help keep us all bouyant.

I love all of these aspects of my life, though--they drive me to excel and to help others, and bring meaning and happiness to my life. but they are all also very draining ;)
 
Sooo I'm back!!!

Been at the All California Young Peoples AA conference since Thursday. Technically I got back sunday night but aside from going to class Monday morning I've been asleep since then. (it's 5am tuesday and I've been up for a couple hours, and about to pass back out after checking in on here.)

Clearly I'm exhausted lol. Absurd amounts of caffeine and dancing for hours on end, hanging out/talking to people from all over the west coast, getting to know some people who live in my area better, was a good weekend. I also got a sponsee who struggles to accept a lot of the same things I struggled with when I first started going to AA, and I feel privileged to have an opportunity to show him a way of looking at the program/steps in a way that doesn't contradict his own beliefs.

Had a few moments of feeling pretty down while I was there because of seeing an ex girlfriend who obviously made it a point to not talk to me, but in response my friends made it a point to distract me from that and not let me focus on stupid shit thats in the past. All in all had a great time. Was pretty powerful during the main meetings friday and saturday night, being in a room with 2000 other people within approximately 10 years of my age all trying to stay sober.
 
Well here goes again. Went on a little binge for a week or so. (Don't ever do it!) Started a rapid taper last week. I have three days left and will be all out so nothing in the trash to tempt me. I also told my pain doc I wanted off opiates so he will not give me anymore. Thursday is my last day of the taper, will be jumping off of 10mg morphine/daily. Sounds easy, but fuck it's not! Not after using opiates daily for four years.
 
I'm doing really well guys. It's my birthday on Friday!! I also found out I have pretty significant brain trauma so I am doing this type of neuro feedback and the best part is that the doctor can repair the damage and stimulate my NAcc and VTA at the same time :)
 
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