RecoveringPothead
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2013
- Messages
- 124
Got a week off opiates/benzos/drink again yeah. First signs of some cravings today but nothing serious.
If you are seriously trying to get clean some sort of meeting might be useful for you, don't discount it from the get go. Why are you keeping smoke/kratom around if you are trying to stop using them? Anything yu keep around will end up getting used I can pretty much garuntee that.
16 days now (unless I decide to reset it after taking two extra klonopin to stop a severe panic attack about 10 days ago. Otherwise its been taken only as directed for my anxiety which is 1mg 3 X per day...I actually found it more useful to take .75 mg 4 times a day but not more than the total of 3 mg/day.
Thanks for your response. Congrats on one week!

I understand the importance of surrender but I don't find it useful to see myself as completely powerless.
I looked into other meetings that are not 12 step and plan on trying that out, SMART and SOS meetings. There is also alot of underlying depression and anxiety which were always a problem for me so I don't feel like focusing solely on the addiction thing is addressing the root causes.
As far as keeping things around, it gives me peace of mind in many ways. It reminds me that I'm not powerless and its good to know its there for someone like me who is prone to meltdowns, racing thoughts and panic attacks...just to know that if I started totally loosing it it is there.
Also when its not there I think about it alot more...in dreams and in obsessing about obtaining more...I'm kind of a hoarder so maybe that is part of it too but I will considur what you said and considur getting rid of it...at least for these 100 days...thats all I can commit to for now. Still wanting to believe I can go back to puffing and even kratom but only once a month after the 100 days are up but of course theres always the possibility of decieving myself.
I just like to be able to look at it, smell it, know its there and still feel no desire to use it. Reassures me that I am still in control of things and being successful in my sobriety by always having the option to use but never caving in.
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