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April Getting/Staying Sober and/or Clean vs Not Fooling Around.

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Totach: What you posted makes perfect sense to this addict, it doesn't sound one bit stupid. Many years ago I was a crackhead. When I went into recovery from that addiction, the cravings were brutal. I would have to ask my HP to help me stay clean for 5 more minutes. it was more like one minute at a time, not one day at a time for the first several months off crack.
Your best friend has the right idea... he is tricking his AV, and staying sober, and you are following in his footsteps. BTW: how nice to have a friend in recovery.
 
totach said:
One day at a time sounds so annoying but yet is so true
When my best friend came home from rehab 6 years ago he would say I'm gonna drink again one day not today but maybe tomorrow
So it's bin 6 years and he says the same thing maybe I'll drink tomorrow but not today
So I am trying to think that way I might get high tomorrow but for sure not today
With that mindset you never have to scare yourself with the thought of never drinking or getting high again but just for the day tell yourself you will not get high
What I said might sound stupid but it helps me
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that is SO helpful... thanks, totach. i've been super depressed by the prospect of never using dope again, while also trying to stay clean. this is a great way to think of it.
 
I'm glad you guys find that helpful it definitely helps me
Yea it is great to have a really good friend in sobriety he was very into aa and the program at first and it helped him a lot
But now he has 6 years and hasn't bin going to meetings or working the program in years so he is proof you don't have to go the aa way if you don't want to
I very much be live in aa and all that I just don't have the time for it right now
Anyways keep up the hard work guys it's well worth it
I'm so used to my mom telling me when he sees me that I don't look good and first thing she told me when she saw me was you look good that was the best feeling and made my last two months of suffering well worth it
 
Day 3...got to admit wasn't expecting to have my arse kicked like this, thought I would basically get away with a taper and no real detox at the end. Vomiting bug fucked me up a fair bit I reckon but ploughing on. Last night was not pretty but keeping fluids and a bit of food down now, light at the end of the tunnel!

One love bl.
 
Back on my taper schedule... I feel like I am so seasick... and blah. Only 40 minutes til my next dose. I am so grateful for the support I get on this thread... otherwise, I certainly wouldn't have started my taper back up. I also walked today... just to kill time and hopefully get some endorphins to kick in.
To all you BL'rs here... you certainly are fighting hard against this disease of addiction...so good to not have to do this alone.
 
P0kemama said:
Back on my taper schedule... I feel like I am so seasick... and blah. Only 40 minutes til my next dose. I am so grateful for the support I get on this thread... otherwise, I certainly wouldn't have started my taper back up. I also walked today... just to kill time and hopefully get some endorphins to kick in.
To all you BL'rs here... you certainly are fighting hard against this disease of addiction...so good to not have to do this alone.
Click to expand...

A walk does sound like a great idea. Perhaps I should go for a bike ride, it would totally help with cravings. Keep the mind off stuff.
(I'm surprised I still have a bike tbh.)

Too much stuff is coming up in the next couple months that I can't afford and I just wanna hide away from it. I know that's not gonna help though. I should face my demons head on. but i cant help but to worry about crap that is inevitable, which is completely pointless and a waste of energy. Gotta start one thing at a time all over again.
I'm just glad I've gotten out of the chain of doing it every day... Still choked I had almost a month under my belt then just killed it completely. Oh well shit happens I guess.
I try really hard to remember that life comes in waves and it's not always gonna be going upward. So it's easier to deal with the downward parts...
 
Poke don't worry as long as you keep at it you will succeed a few days of a messed up taper is nothing compared to the rest of your life just don't give up
Same for you papa just don't give up you have the right attitude that everyday you are trying for day one hopefully sooner then later it will happen
Cat I am envious that at day 3 that you feel like you see the light at the end of the tunnel it took me much longer then that and I still don't really see keep it up!!
I really don't wanna get ahead of myself here cuz I have managed to stay a few months clean quite a few times as I have bin a member here for along time
I really don't know how I should approach sobriety this time if I should sound confident and say that's it I'm done never again or keep saying what I say to people when they ask me that I don't know but for now I'm not gonna get high
I'm just scared to let people down again I really would like to tell people I'm done never again but I can't bring myself to say it
I know for me the attitude I mentioned in the previous post about not getting high today maybe tomorrow helps me but when you tell that to someone that's not a addict they think you're hinting to them that you are gonna get high eventually
So ya that's where I stand at today two and a half more weeks and it will be 3 months ;)
 
today i thought about going to cop but i didn't so i feel good about that. i know chances are i'll probably get back into drugs, the highs were just so intense, but at least i'm enjoying my sober(minus weed) time while i have it. i really don't want to use the hard drugs that i used ever again tho. i hated all the craziness that was involved with using. the highs were amazing but they just weren't worth all the hardships that using caused. but i'd be totally cool with never using again, i just don't think it will happen, but that may change, one day i might think that i won't use ever again. that would be a relief
 
Yeah, Simco, there is, for me, something so freeing about doing recovery here on BL. I am kind of an introvert, so meetings used to create a lot of anxiety for me, and then there is the whole clique thing that happens when you get a bunch of people together. Another thing, I can be honest online, and that is so helpful. What I hate the most about being an addict is when I truly forget why I want to be clean and sober... all I can think of is being high. So, I have to come here and read and then I remember... when I am an addict, using full on, things only get worse, they never get better... money issues get worse, tolerance gets worse, and my life gets worse.
 
P0kemama said:
Back on my taper schedule... I feel like I am so seasick... and blah. Only 40 minutes til my next dose. I am so grateful for the support I get on this thread... otherwise, I certainly wouldn't have started my taper back up. I also walked today... just to kill time and hopefully get some endorphins to kick in.
To all you BL'rs here... you certainly are fighting hard against this disease of addiction...so good to not have to do this alone.
Click to expand...

Nice.

Day 4, still feel rough but could be worse I guess.
 
snortmdma said:
today i thought about going to cop but i didn't so i feel good about that. i know chances are i'll probably get back into drugs, the highs were just so intense, but at least i'm enjoying my sober(minus weed) time while i have it. i really don't want to use the hard drugs that i used ever again tho. i hated all the craziness that was involved with using. the highs were amazing but they just weren't worth all the hardships that using caused. but i'd be totally cool with never using again, i just don't think it will happen, but that may change, one day i might think that i won't use ever again. that would be a relief
Click to expand...

Take it one day at a time, you might be surprised.... the longer you get away from that craziness and the using, the more you will relish the serenity you have found.

11 Months and 8 Days clean and serene for me!
 
Kind of. I've had a long standing problem with smack and this time round it's prescribed morphine that I was topping up with doses of gear.

If there's one thing I've learnt it's that all the good attitude in the world isn't worth an ounce of positive action, it's nice to hear someone say that though.:)
 
It is encouraging to see how long you have been on BL in that HR is the top priority, it seems. I have seen forums where either you are sober and clean or you are not, and then judged if, for example, you smoke weed occasionally, even if you gave up a 5th of vodka a day habit. I like to know that even days when my taper went to sh*t I can come back with either encouragement, or neutrality. BTW: taper is going very well today in that although i am feeling more nauseous than yesterday while waiting to dose, I am feeling strong in my motivation to keep to my schedule. (Less than 2 hours to next dose.) I realized that day number 3 after loading up is when I mostly stumble, so tomorrow will be a very interesting day as to whether I can stay on my plan. However, I better just focus on today first.
 
This was my second account as well, lost the keys to the first one. I did do a full on disappear for quite a few years in the middle but in the end just couldn't stay away8)
 
Phactor: I'm always so happy to hear that you're about a year in the clear. I just passed 8 months, and there are days it is still a struggle. Although lately it's because my husband was prescribed hydros after surgery, so there's a big-ass bottle of my favorite drug sitting in the bathroom. I haven't taken any (it has been nearly 3 weeks since his surgery), but this has been a challenge. I guess it's another marker in the road of my recovery. So when I see your posts and you keep progressing, I feel more hopeful for myself. Thank you for posting.

Verri: How are you doing? I think of you every day.

CH: Hope you start to feel better soon. I had that, and it took about 8 weeks to get totally over it. It's a lingering sucker.
 
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