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  • EADD Moderators: Shambles

Anyone into S and m?

Yeah, gives me the perfect excuse to truss up the missus and give her a fuckin' good beating.

Nah i'm not into it at all. Stockings and high heels can get a bit rough, especially when i'm wearing them.
 
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Albion said:
Is it possibly more of a female turn-on?
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There's certainly a strong element of gender politics involved in certain strains of the (heterosexual) S&M /BDSM / (whatever letter they add next in order to create a nebulous umbrella term for a broad, disparate range of 'deviant' practices) scene. Sexual fantasies and behaviour are usually massively influenced by cultural factors, as is widely acknowledged. Sex often holds up a mirror to society.

A lot of the more populist ('vanilla' if you like) practices involve some kind of exaggeration or reversal of the traditional passive female sexual role, so I guess in that sense there's a strong 'female' element. Also, it's a lot more acceptable to be a woman who wants to be tied up and slapped around a bit than it is to be a bloke who wants to wear a nappy or have his bollocks stomped on.

I certainly don't identify with the 'BDSM scene' in the slightest - it all seems a little tacky, camp and ultimately sexless in a very strange and off-putting way. I've been told by kinkier types that this is all due to my inhibitions, though I think it's more a question of aesthetics. Each to their own though - these people look like they're having a lot of fun. I rarely have much fun at all, so who's the ridiculous one? :)

As for the less 'scene' end of things, like many people I've indulged in a bit of role play, some of which was thoroughly embarrassing, some less so. My own attitude to sex is quite frivolous and on the occasions I'm with a steady girfriend and not carried away by hormones, I tend to like it to be a bit of a laugh. This can make it a bit awkward if I have a partner who likes to be dominated, as it's difficult to get all rough with the person you've just been watching telly with and not break out into fits of passion-killing laughter.

On the other hand, if I'm with someone with whom my relationship is more casual and the chemistry is there, I'll quite readily indulge any whims they might have (up to a point).

I'm more into masochism really; not in a massive way (and I've had many relationships where it's been absent), but a bit of knifeplay / cigarette burns / watersports (though not on my bed), choking - that's about as far as I'll go. again, it really has to be the right person. Some girl-next-door type slashing up your chest and having a wazz in your belly button is far more disturbing than it ever could hope to be arousing.

So I guess I'm not really anything out of the ordinary. Though I must stress that for me just now, 'rough sex' is limited to not smearing my cock in lotion.

Sweet dreams, folks.
 
Pagey said:
Haha fair enough. It's true it's pretty impressive. I really like the second one personally :)
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I fucking love that second Shibari pic. <3 Or I guess technically the third pic since the link to the second is broken. It almost makes up for the awfulness posted earlier. I really, really dislike larvae and similar squirmy things. *shudder*

Re: gender issues in S&M/BDSM...I always believed that most women like to be dominated, even if they're mostly vanilla. But someone much more knowledgeable about these things tells me that most people, male or female, prefer to be dominated, which accounts for the severe shortage of full-on Doms. And I have to say that most people I know well are subs, and share my frustration re: finding good Doms. :(
 
fairnymph said:
And I have to say that most people I know well are subs, and share my frustration re: finding good Doms. :(
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Based on the pic you posted (and the reaction to it) I'm sure that plenty of BLers would be more than happy to oblige. :D
 
fairnymph said:
I fucking love that second Shibari pic. <3 Or I guess technically the third pic since the link to the second is broken. It almost makes up for the awfulness posted earlier. I really, really dislike larvae and similar squirmy things. *shudder*

Re: gender issues in S&M/BDSM...I always believed that most women like to be dominated, even if they're mostly vanilla. But someone much more knowledgeable about these things tells me that most people, male or female, prefer to be dominated, which accounts for the severe shortage of full-on Doms. And I have to say that most people I know well are subs, and share my frustration re: finding good Doms. :(
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Come to LA. We'll take a short trip up to my favorite castle in SF and I'm sure you'll be adored by several knowledgeable and talented Doms who "work" there on a regular basis, both male and female.

I've dabbled quite a bit in the BDSM world. As much as I can enjoy vanilla sex, I've also been tied up in every way imaginable, flogged, caned, choked, spit on, slapped.... The more extremes situations have been with electro-play (let me tell you, being zapped with a cattle prod is NOT fun), and I've also been tied down onto a sybian. Fuck.
 
My wife loves to be dominated. Her favourite thing is for me to strap her into ankle bars and then kick her in the fanny! She loves the pain and the feeling of total helplessness.

I find it helps to have a drink or summat before partaking as it can seem quite unnatural to go from giving your loved one a back rub to kicking her in the unmentionables. 8(
 
Shambles said:
The #1 cunt kicker-in in the country <3
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"I put my huge great nailed shoes on..."

Derek and Clive, god they bring back some happy memories. I think hearing Peter Cook slurring when he's pissed up is one of the wonders of the world. Think "I saw this bloke" is my fave "So what happened? You saw him. Any happier? You any happier for seeing this bloke?". Have you got a fave album? I think the first was the more creative comically but the last one when Cook is clinically depressed and bitter about Dudley leaving him has a special magic all of it's own.

As for S&M I find the fantasy of it is far more fun than the reality. In the fantasy it's some beautiful woman, it's hard finding someone in reality who isn't repugnant, foul as a bag of whelps and with a sweaty arse and a greasy, reeking twat that takes your breath away with the stench when you get within a foot of it.

I think the best line from a dominatrix interview I ever read was when a guy was undressing for her and she saw his skidmarked underpants and simply said "STOP! I've seen enough". (And no, it wasn't me)
 
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Ismene said:
As for S&M I find the fantasy of it is far more fun than the reality. In the fantasy it's some beautiful woman, it's hard finding someone in reality who isn't repugnant, foul as a bag of whelps and with a sweaty arse and a greasy twot that takes your breath away with the stench when you get within a foot of it.
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...So it's just no sex ever for you then? Or is it only if they'rei nto S&M that women are so horribly repugnant?
 
have to say, I was very disappointed by 50 shades of grey. I thought there was going to be much more going on in the red room of pain. that maggoty picture revolting. one of those tie up pictures looks like voldo from soul caliber. tis all about trust ain't it.
 
^ Disappointed why? Is a horribly overmarketed "BDSM lite" bestseller. Try Marquis de Sade and Leopold von Sacher-Masoch. It's called Sado-Masochism for good reason ;)

Ismene said:
"I put my huge great nailed shoes on..."

Derek and Clive, god they bring back some happy memories. I think hearing Peter Cook slurring when he's pissed up is one of the wonders of the world. Think "I saw this bloke" is my fave "So what happened? You saw him. Any happier? You any happier for seeing this bloke?". Have you got a fave album? I think the first was the more creative comically but the last one when Cook is clinically depressed and bitter about Dudley leaving him has a special magic all of it's own.
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I'd be hard-pressed to pick a fave D&C album. But would probably have to go for the first if pushed. Had a mate when I first moved here who I got into D&C stuff and we used to listen to the albums (and watch the recording linkied above) religiously. Had one of the funniest nights of me life when we went on a day (and most of the night) long pub crawl and took fuckloadsa acid mid-afternoon... we missed the train back due to unfeasible levels of fuckedness and spent the night on the beach (around a campfire we scared some local students away from) throwing pebbles at a driftlog that looked vaguely cuntlike whilst quoting D&C stuff back and forth til the sun came up <3

I think the properly brutal and bitter stuff is when they're at their best. The film the above clip is taken from is a prime example. The dynamics between the two are wince-inducingly hateful and bitter at times. Truly comedy at the very edge <3
 
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