After the week i have been through, it was quite interesting to read this post all the way through. Warning: venting to the board about to begin.....I have been in a relationship with a beautiful individual for over a year now. In the beginning, we were best friends. We did EVERYTHING together. My boyfriend was the first person to introduce me to E, and we raved together, partied together, did our homework together. I would bake him cookies, cook him dinner, take the train all the way out to his place to bring him food from my work after my shift was done. We would send eachother e-mails all the time, i was never a jealous girl, NEVER even thought about cheating, and his friends became like brothers to me. And everything that i did for him, he did for me. Once he rollerbladed for an hour to get to my dorm to bring me soup when i was sick. I was madly in love with him.
Then, things changed this week. I had told him a month before that i was in love with him, and he couldn't respond. He told me this story about getting hurt by a girl, and not wanting to let anyone get close to him again like that. He started to put up a wall between us. When i came back from home over thanksgiving, something was different. I confronted him, and he told me that he thought we were spending too much time together, and we should break up. He was crying, I was crying, it was like a movie. I packed up all of my stuff from his dorm and started to carry it in the cold back to my place only to find him running after me, telling me that he couldn't let me walk out of his life for good. Blah, blah, blah.
We decide to stay together, but see other people. All of his friends are smacking him on the head, asking him how he could throw away the best thing that ever happened in his life. They all tell him that they would kill to have a girlfriend like me. I'm trying not to call, but we always end up calling eachother, talking for hours, falling back into bed. (and i love it..i miss his company so much) He told me that i am his best friend, and he doesn't want me out of his life, but all i'm thinking is that in a little while he's going to come crawling back. What I want to know is....how long am i supposed to wait around for him? I have already turned to other men in my life for emotional support, and what if one of those supports turns into a relationship? I am so in love with my now ex-boyfriend, that the "let's just be friends" thing doesn't work. He IS my best friend, and i don't want to hurt him if i move on before he does. At the same time, i don't want to hurt another individual if my boyfriend and i get back together.
My question for this post is....why are guys so stupid sometimes and throw perfectly good relationships out the window? Ahhhhh.....MEN. (but in your defense, there are some pretty wacked girls out there too..) THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME VENT!!! In response to this topic: being single is great for a while, but when you used to have a very independent, warm, loving relationship, where you had plenty of space, and no jealousy at all (just trust and compassion), SINGLE SUCKS!!
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"Dance is not an expression of life; it is life itself" -Havelock Ellis
