i think money and the illeagality of drugs like heroin are the two main things that stop addicts from continuing to use.................running out of money or getting locked up ..........and i think that is what it takes for most dope users to end up getting clean unless they are somehow forced by their family or really get sick and tired of living that life , but i think it takes most a LONG time before they are just sick of it and i think most dont decide they want to get clean before the consequences happen........i know very few dope users who can get thru the sickness on the streets when they have a way to get their drug of choice..............i know jail didnt work for me because i did almost 2 yrs but still ended up using again when i got out.........i also think a lot of users, (especially of opiates) suffer from depression and use opiates as a way of self medicating themselves because they feel no anti depressant or counseling or Aa or na meetings will help.....plus it takes a lot more effort to do all those things.......in end it pays off more but its a hell of a lot easier to spend your money , sniff/shoot your dope, and forget about all the things in life that bother you. Wouldnt it be nice if they could create a drug as good as dope that you could use and stop anytime without withdrawal ?
It's completely different when you come out of prison. I know so many people that do this, locked up for a bit, get clean, then come out and use straight away. Mostly because they are not working some sort of recovery program. Addicts need a recovery program in my opinion, whether it be SMART, RATIONAL RECOVERY, NA (I prefer this) or whatever... its very hard on your own.
Its not just about going to meetings, it really is a program of action. I see some people who come to the meetings I go to, but that's it, they just come, sit through, then go home, and they dont seem to be getting better, clean, but just not getting better. It's a program of action, just going to meetings then nothing is gonna change other than your understanding of yourself.
I mean, just understanding about myself isn't going to keep me clean, I have to put the action in, otherwise nothing changes. You've heard the corny slogan "nothing changes if nothing changes" right? well just that little saying said to me by a really cool Trinidadian guy really changed everything for me once, as I suddenly understood what it meant!
Just getting clean and soley that isn't gonna make you regain contentment and happiness. It's about putting action in, facing fears, getting connected to people again (fellowship great for this), learning about your behaviours and changing them, learning new skills, going back to school, getting new jobs etc... Happiness and contentment doesn't come from just sitting around being clean. A lot of people think they are depressed, when they are sitting around at home watching tv, wondering why they are depressed, justifying the need for drugs to make them feel better. To live content in this life you have to work for it, put the action in, work towards a mind,body,spirit balance, get creative, help other people, try out new stuff...
I see so many people get clean, then within a few weeks come up with some explanation to why they are different from everyone else and slowly but surely trick themselves into using drugs again and 90% of the time end up in desperation and despair again within weeks, even days!
7 months ago I was living on a mattress on the floor of my parents house, in complete isolation (apart from parents + internet + dealer), in a totally desperate place where I just couldn't stop using, depressed, paranoid, thought I was doomed forever. Now everything has changed. Externally I got my own flat, buying a car next week, got a job as a support worker for drug charity yesterday, loads of new friends, etc,etc, internally I am working towards contentment, i feel generally pretty good, more confident, times of laughter and happiness, becoming more spiritual, feel alive again, so much more...... BUT if I had managed to detox myself at parents house and somehow white knuckled through and stayed clean on my own with no program, I bet I'd still be there, on that mattress, still depressed, still paranoid, still isolated with nothing changed externally either. I had to make a lot of changes internally and there is no way in hell I could have done it all without a recovery program (na), and without putting in the action to make changes!
Take a challenge Jake, give it 6 months working solid recovery program, put some action in, take risks, have some faith, face fears, try out new stuff, then see how you feel! I promise you if you do these things, you will be in a much better place in 6 months time.
