Any long time opiate users ?

jake99

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just wondering do any of you maintain a long term opiate addiction and manage to still have a happy life ?
i know for me when i was using it wasnt possible because everything centered around getting more dope , i didnt care about much except how i could get more money for more dope..................
i guess its every addicts dream to be able to use and not have consequences.......only way i can possible think of this is some rich dude who had extremly safe connects and still had a good family , job , etc. But it seems to me for every user eventually it is going to catch up to you whether it is going broke , getting locked up , or ruining jobs and relationships............
any opinions ?
it just sucks because every time im clean i just get depressed and wanna use. its like i permenantly damaged my brain and only opiates make me feel normal .
 
Hey jake long time no see man.
To anser your ? the anser is no.
I know alot of rich peple and have alot of rich friends and so far evrey single one that was on opiates has either got divorced or lost there buisness or somethin bad.
On the other hand i know alot of rich coke heads that somehow manage to have a big habit and still maintain a famailly and evreything.Im not sure why its like that but it is.
Another thing you say that when you r clean you are just depressed.I dont think you have bin clean long enough to know that.
Wait until you find a nice girl and get a nice job wit that degree you either got or will have soon.
If you are still depressed after that then you can come back here and say you have a problem with being depressed without opiates.
You gotta giv yourself some time to heal man and it doesnt happen overnight we all know that allready.
Anyways good to see you back again and im really happy 2 see you're clean :)
Keep up the good work bro....
 
Haha you're asking pretty deep questions there buddy.

See these are the types of things we ge to think about once we're clean, fun aint it? I thought this same thought a lot when I was newly clean in sept, (temporarily I should add).

I NEVER NOT ONE SINGLE TIME was able to convince myself I could actually be happy on opiates in anyway. You know why? Imagine this.

Instead of opiates you have a tuner on the side of your head quite like a radio. On one side of the turner it says "happy", on the other side it says "sad". God tells you, in order to actually experience full happiness in life, that tuner must be on sad as much as its on happy. Because if you get impulsive, and tweak the tuner everyday to happy, you have nothing to compare happy to anymore, and eventually happy just goes flat. It becomes neutral, there is no reference anymore for either happy or sad, or most importantly whats "normal".

I've tried thinking about it that way, and thinking about the fact that happiness is always something you earn to some degree in life. If you keep taking it, through manipulating brain chemicals, you WILL NEVER want to earn it. And every time you experience happiness on drugs, you will always have buyers remorse to some degree because you didn't earn it. Whether that comes in the shape of wds, or just the simple fact that you realize one day even when you tweak your happy chemicals endlessly - that doesn't mean you will be happy. You will feel the emotion of happiness more like a veil or mask, it is hollow and has no substane to it. No foundation, no meaning or reason, the happiness was put there cause you swallowed a pill. Its never real imo and even if you were happy before opiates, I have a feeling that everyone eventually goes "flat" on them.

I have a friend who seems to have is shit together on a 200mg oxy habit of all things. But I notice when this guy gets drunk a lot of nasty emotions come out, and I mean A LOT of nasty emotions. Aggressiveness, fighting, yelling, acting like an idiot drunk. But when he's on opiates he's able to convince himself he's experiencing the real version of happiness, I guess till he gets drunk that is.

Bro if you're depressed and want to use, and think you are a risk to yourself, I can't tell you not to use opiates. But what I can tell you is try using something that is not so damn fucking devastating to life in general. Weed, kratom (although I hate to recommend this because I have a feeling it will lead right back to regular opiate use like it did for me) fuck I don't know just find some drugs that you do not want to compulsively swallow everyday like an animal, and use those. But really man answer this, although you might have been able to smile on opiates, at any specific point, at any time, did you actually consider yourself happy?

When I ask myself that the answer is always no. I'm able to see a glimpse of happiness, maybe I get lost in conversation with my brother over the phone and forget I'm a drug addict for a minute, but I am never happy on this shit. It flattens you out imo. If you want happiness you always need to earn it to some degree. Others say happiness is a state of mind, you can just create it anytime you want, and I do believe that too, but I don't think you can just do it on opiates. I likely have no idea what I'm talking about though, just speaking from my mind really.

But find something else to use as a clutch, something that doesn't handcuff you to it after a few worthless rendevous with it. I can think of other ideas too, but I might have to call you for that.
 
yep of course its not a real happiness..................i just wonder if some people are doomed to never get back to a place where they can be happy clean .................
seems that way after the damage of addiction feels like it is still there when you are clean (felonies on record, family never trusting you , not finding good job , friends , etc............)
 
when you are doing dope its your life it has you and you cant think of anything but your next fix.you have a little money and you my wont food but your going to find more money to put with it so you can cop. fuck the food its a life I never wont to go back to ive been on meth for 22yrs this sucks being toled when to come in ask if you can have bottles to go on vacations.but im clean and not doing H or pills so im happyer
 
I've been legally dependent, and it was only when I lost it all and got clean that I realized getting high once in a while is a lot more possible in the long run.

For some, its not. Everyday I make sure to try not to lie to myself. Not easy, either.

Its a vicious thing watching drugs consume someone, can't really say shit either. Would they listen?

The answer is no. Lifelong and opiates are two words that constantly seem to be trying to ditch each other. Waking up shivering when its 70 outside is always weak sauce.
 
I have been on opiates for 8yrs and clean about 1 year in those 8 years. I have realized that when im not on any opiates im really happy and i say im not going to do any more opiates. Then the refill comes in and even though I try to not take them something in my head makes me take some. First the pain in my knee starts and I say im only going to take one to take away the pain, then stress happens and I take one more and another and another ....then im gone back into the cycle. When im back in the cycle i realize how im not happy any more just numb. I hate the feeling of being numb and not really enjoying life. I have decided im not going to take anymore but now i need to slowly taper off. The taper is hard as well because it takes everything i have not to take more but I dont want to live numb anymore and I dont want to be a slave to opiates. They havent ruined my life YET but im sure if I continue it might. I have always had my opiates perscribed so i have never had any financial issues with my drugs and for the most part I guess im one of those people that can manage my addiction and my life except for the fact I dont feel happy when im on them and thats not acceptable for me anymore. I need happiness in my life and the only thing keeping from that is the opiates. I have a good life, a good husband, great kids and great life for the most part. Yet I cant seem to get off these dam pills. I hope this time i can do it. I need them for pain but i dont need to abuse them. I wish i could just fix something in my brain to keep me from taking more than whats needed.
 
I was a long time opiate abuser. The fantasy of being able to use and not have any consequences is just that: a fantasy. It doesn't matter how much money or how few responsibilities you have, when you're using, none of your interactions are authentic, you can't form profound connections with other people, and eventually - no matter the trappings of wealth or possessions or whatever - it steals your soul.

I didn't quit my ten+ year opiate habit (and it was a fucking big habit) because I ran out of money or my job was in jeopardy or I got arrested, or my source dried up, etc. Without revealing too much identifying info here, I will say that my life comes pretty close to your fantasy as described above; I don't have to work for money, all my superficial needs are met, and with that position come certain comforts in terms of scoring (i.e. I never had to put myself in danger to procure my 'meds'), and so I rode it, ten long years of increasing use followed by the most intense and protracted and brutal cold turkey withdrawal from 3 addictive drugs all at once (oxy, hydro, soma). And today, at sixty-something days clean, I can honestly say that I would trade every penny I have for just one of those ten years back. I would work cleaning toilets for the rest of my life if it would guarantee I stayed clean (and I *have* worked cleaning toilets, so don't mistake me for some trustafarian whiner; I spent a good 2/3 of my life dirt poor)....life on opiates is total bullshit - your brain is not processing input normally at all, and you must be at the point now where you're noticing how much you missed while high. Just driving around my neighborhood where I've lived for 5 years, just around the BLOCK, I'm seeing a thousand things I never noticed...just stupid shit like the way the roof on the church bends at a certain angle or how that big Victorian mansion always has the third floor windows open after dark even though it's below zero out and in a split second I notice that and wonder about who lives up there and why they want the windows open so wide at night in the winter on the East Coast...if I missed all those details in the world around me for ten years, how much REALLY important shit did I miss? How much detail in the faces of my loved ones, or a certain tone of voice that said "I feel lonely" or "please don't hang up" when talking on the phone with friends or family? The scope of the loss is immeasurable. Life isn't about being happy all the time, not by a fucking long shot.

How long, exactly, have you been clean? My depression is just now beginning to lift slightly, meaning it's like 2% better than it was two weeks ago, at 2+ months clean. Your only job right now is putting one foot in front of the other until bedtime every night, and not taking any opiates in the process. Honestly? 99% of my days suck shit right now. I'm miserable, I'm lonely, I'm depressed, I'm anxious, I'm grieving the decade I threw away on drugs. But FUCK if I'm going to go back there. You shouldn't either. It's going to suck a lot of the time...that's life. You are certainly man enough to meet it on its own terms...we all are. There IS no perfect scenario where you can comfortably be stoned for 60 or 70 years and call it a good life at the end. I don't know much, but I know that for sure.
 
So you thought u were happy during those 10 years now realize u werent ? Or were high but unhappy all that time ?
 
I'm along term opiate user and it has mainly caused me misery. Apart from when i'm noding out. Seriously i wish i had never had that 1st hit about 15 years ago. Since then i've not been able 2 hold down any "Longterm relationships" apart from the mutual love of Heroin type .
I have been on Disability benefits since i can remember, got in debt then got out of debt only 2 get in debt again:!
God only knows what the future holds 4 addicts in the UK , due 2 the changes in Govt. policy
 
I know how you feel, I feel depressed when I am not on shit. Also my girl left me, when I wasn't using, that felt shitty but I haven't started again (I still use maybe twice a month). Only thing that is keeping me clean now is that I am getting out of this town, going on a sailing trip ( trans Atlantic )I don't need the monkey on my back in open water. I know a rich guy (trust fund baby) he owns a really nice skate shop. He's not a bad guy but he's a laughing stock, I mean the guy has it made but he's always to fucked up to crawl out of his mansion which is covered in empty wax packs and you have to step over used gear, I mean the WHOLE downstairs his car too. He just got busted on some shady deal, this guy could have have had the playboy lifestyle everyone wants. I really feel pity for this guy, he could have even just stuck to the big bag of pharms he carries around everywhere, including Suboxone and methadone.
 
So you thought u were happy during those 10 years now realize u werent ? Or were high but unhappy all that time ?

Honestly, I don't know. I guess a little of both - I was superficially, well, not happy but not unhappy. Deep down, though, I was dead inside. I knew I wasn't really genuinely happy. I knew I didn't laugh very often. It was more about avoiding emotional pain than actually being happy. In some ways it was certainly easier; I can't believe the amount of discomfort and awkwardness that exists in casual daily interactions now that I'm not high all the time. And I have ten years of neglect to deal with now; neglect of myself, my relationships, my home.

I read somewhere recently that studies have shown that the average opiate addiction (this pertained, iirc, specifically to heroin but could be applied to all opiates) lasts for 10 years. No one knows why that seems to be the magic number or why after 10 years most junkies who live that long get clean for good, but it was kind of bizarre to read that and realize that I fit the profile perfectly. I know it's for good because of many things, one significant one being that this time I went through withdrawal next to a drawer full of hydrocodone and never once was tempted. I threw them away a couple weeks ago.

Can you remind me of how long you were using and how long you've been clean? I've seen your threads here & there but can't recall the details.
 
I used on and off since i was like 22, 23 im 29 , i say on and off because i haad a year clean during that time, i also had about 2 yrs locked up , plus stays at rehab , then the last 2 yrs or so i was back and forth between H, subs and methadone for a couple months, then i detoxed about a month ago and been good since
 
it just sucks because every time im clean i just get depressed and wanna use. its like i permenantly damaged my brain and only opiates make me feel normal .

I thought this, really truly believed it, but with a bit of faith and effort luckily have found out its not true!!

The p.a.w.s trick you into thinking this! Don't believe the crap that some people say they need to be on drugs to feel good. I bet you most of these people never had a decent bit of clean time with a recovery program. It takes a bit of hard work, but it is so worth it!

Stick with your meetings, get through the inital brain and body readjustment period and you will be ok!

Haven't ever met an opiate addict who has had a happy content managable life, and I've met hundreds of opiate addicts. 90% of them weren't able to control their addiction either.

Even for people who've been on opiates for years can get clean and live a happy life. For example, someone I know was a heroin addict at age 15, was on methadone for 15 years, he's 45 now and 11 years clean. He is living an amazing, content, happy, spiritual life. He abused drugs big time. He most certainly hasn't fucked his brain in the sense of general well being and stuff. I havent met someone who seems to love life so much actually, he's the sort of guy that walks in the room and you just feel better by his presence.

paws are tough jake, but with a good support network of other recovering addicts, a solid program and faith that it will be ok, it is perfectly possible to get through and the results are amazing!

:)
 
i think money and the illeagality of drugs like heroin are the two main things that stop addicts from continuing to use.................running out of money or getting locked up ..........and i think that is what it takes for most dope users to end up getting clean unless they are somehow forced by their family or really get sick and tired of living that life , but i think it takes most a LONG time before they are just sick of it and i think most dont decide they want to get clean before the consequences happen........i know very few dope users who can get thru the sickness on the streets when they have a way to get their drug of choice..............i know jail didnt work for me because i did almost 2 yrs but still ended up using again when i got out.........i also think a lot of users, (especially of opiates) suffer from depression and use opiates as a way of self medicating themselves because they feel no anti depressant or counseling or Aa or na meetings will help.....plus it takes a lot more effort to do all those things.......in end it pays off more but its a hell of a lot easier to spend your money , sniff/shoot your dope, and forget about all the things in life that bother you. Wouldnt it be nice if they could create a drug as good as dope that you could use and stop anytime without withdrawal ?
 
I have the answer to your question and I'm sorry to say the answer is no. Things get better after sobriety, but not as much as you are expecting. This is an amazing article that tells you everything you need to know about whats going on in your life (or any other long-term opiate addict). For those people who aren't addicted to opiates yet, I suggest you read this and LEARN from it:


------ "To make a successful recovery, the addict needs new tools in order to deal with situations and problems which arise. Factors such as encountering someone from their days of using, returning to the same environment and places, or even small things such as smells and objects trigger memories which can create psychological stress. This can hinder the addict's goal of complete recovery, thus not allowing the addict to permanently regain control of his or her life.

Almost all addicts tell themselves in the beginning that they can conquer their addiction on their own without the help of outside resources. Unfortunately, this is not usually the case. When an addict makes an attempt at detoxification and to discontinue drug use without the aid of professional help, statistically the results do not last long. Research into the effects of long-term addiction has shown that substantial changes in the way the brain functions are present long after the addict has stopped using drugs. Realizing that a drug addict who wishes to recover from their addiction needs more than just strong will power is the key to a successful recovery. Battling not only cravings for their drug of choice, re-stimulation of their past and changes in the way their brain functions, it is no wonder that quitting drugs without professional help is an uphill battle.

With Such Severe Side Effects, Why are so Many People Becoming Addicted to OxyContin?

OxyContin is a powerful painkiller with analgysic capacity equal to heroin. It acts on the part of the brain cells in an identical fashion as endorphins, our natural “feel good” neuro-hormones. Therefore, any pain is reduced or eliminated, even feelings as minor as social discomfort and boredom, or more severe problems like; anxiety and depression or headaches are relieved.

These most common human frustrations are temporarily relieved, but when they return, the body is no longer equipped with its natural resilience, leaving the person to feel the need more opiates. When the endorphins are replaced with larger quantities of a similar chemical, you feel happiness and euphoria that is usually reserved for the most thrilling moments in our lives. These “highs” have been described as similar to feelings that are associated with major accomplishment, like graduation, weddings and other equally momentous occasions.

The absence of opiates after artificially inducing these feelings is extremely dehumanizing and leads one to seeking instant gratification which is found by taking more of the same or other drugs. The long-term effect of being addicted to opiates and especially OxyContin, requires extensive physical detoxification and the lengthy process of rekindling a person’s enthusiasm to find enjoyment in a drug-free life. Finding artificially induced enthusiasm will leave anyone depressed when the inducing drug is removed.

Given the consequences of opiate addiction and the strength of this opiate painkillers, they should be reserved for intractable pain from cancer and surgeries and never seen as a drug of choice or “recreation”. The pain and personal suffering that is seen from opiate addiction cannot be taken lightly." ------


Anti-depressants are prescribed for these situations. I'd give them a shot if I were you. Your body cant make you feel the way you want to feel anymore. Your brain needs a little support from here on out.

Heres the link to my reading: http://www.rehab-drug.net/oxycontin.html
 
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