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Any "happy" opiate addicts out there?

It goes both ways, there's always going to be a conflict of sorts, this one is nothing worse than anything else.
 
vicodelicious said:
But when you don't have that morning dose, are you happy? Probably not.

I'm an opiate addict and I can firmly say that I'm really not that happy of a guy. When I was clean and off heroin/oxy/dilaudid, I was much happier. but the cravings for dope were very intense.

Ugh, I dunno. The life of a dope head... It's not it's all cracked up to what its supposed to be. :\
Sure, a night fat shot of oxycodone or heroin, or hydromorphone, mmmmm hydromorphone is unbelieable. Your worries just melt away. But then you comedown. And theres no drugs, no money, no friends... It's a love/hate relationship.
Click to expand...
You summed this up pretty well. This is how I feel 110 percent.

Thanks for the input.
 
If you take away the legal and availability issues I would still not be "happy" as an opiate addict. I feel safe, comfortable, even blissful. But I don't experience the kind of belly laughs I associate with being happy. Music doesn't move me the same way. I feel like I am overly analytical and less empathetic. And, on top of all that, it takes a greater and greater amount to get the feeling of bliss and then eventually it just stops. Then I am just using in order not to get sick. I guess I feel like I may not be happy all the time when I'm clean, but at least the potential for happiness is there. When I'm high I don't feel like it's even possible for me to get that far above flatline. Comfortable and pain free and euphoric, yes. But not, at least by my definition, "happy."
 
Having been on and off opiates, mainly on for 7 years I think you can only be content if you can a) afford to comfortably support your habit b) and have to problems scoring. Chaos and problems only occured due to not being able to score or hanging out and being broke. If I'm not using (heroin or oxycontin) I'm in some sort of program either methadone or currently buprenorphine. Im undecided if I'd say I was content but I'm not happy.
 
"thast were the question became pigeon holey and moral"

First off, that's the most flawed idea I've heard in a long time. Secondly, that is the worst grammar I've seen in a long time.
Other people may have moralized it, but the question itself was not a moral one.
 
Not really up for a grammer class.
I guess the term happy addict is what bugs me. I cant for the life of me, see why a person liking a specific drug makes them an addict, without it not being a moral view point.
 
^ It depends on how the person obtains the opiate. Street heroin is much more expensive than prescribed methadone or subutex/suboxone.
 
Worried_Sick said:
^ It depends on how the person obtains the opiate. Street heroin is much more expensive than prescribed methadone or subutex/suboxone.
Click to expand...

Heroin costs more than methadone? I thought it was the other way around (unless of course you mean that an insurance company will pick up a large chunk of the cost of the methadone? Was that what you meant maybe?)
 
I know many Opiate addicts that are reasonably happy with their lives, though I also know some that are miserable.
 
Propynyl said:
IMO, HEROIN doesn't cause the problems in a junkies life, it's the fact that it is illegal that does.

If you had a lifetime supply of good free heroin, and a steralized way of administering it daily, life would be AMAZING!

-propynyl
Click to expand...

So the fact that it costs money is a problem too. A lot of people think that it being legal would make everything better, but even if it was legal, you would still have to pay for it... and that's a huge part of the problem. People get depressed when they are running low on dope and when you are running low on money, you are also running low on dope. So you see, even if it was legal, you would still have the whole problem of getting it becuase it is still an expensive habit.

But I personally do not think you can be a happy dope addict. I was miserable when I was an opiate addict... I did stupid things with stupid people, I had no money and I depended on a drug to get by. I'm much happier without it, but at the same time there is that part of me that wants to get a taste again....
 
I'm a happy opaite addict when I've got opiate/opioids to use. When I'm WDing, or have no dope I'm unhappy.

It's such a love/hate relationship.

It's a kiss with open eyes.

:| :\
 
I would have to say that as far as a happy addict I don't know, because being reliant on anything sucks. Yet, I'm 29, have been on anti-depressents since the age of 7, and I find that the opiates actually eliminate my depression and cause me to be motivated and really talkative. Kinda like ritalin for hyper humans dope is my personal savior. But damn I need that endlesss supply.
 
If one is talking about the consequences that one incurs from being an opiate addict in a prohibitionist society (social stigma, loss of friends / family / relationships, threat of being arrested, major loss of money due to overpriced drugs by dangerous and self-serving dealers, e.g.), then I do not think one can truly be happy, even when they are high on opiates. I'm assuming that the question presupposes that one is living in a society in which opiates are legal for personal consumption if one is to have an endless supply. If that is the case, if the drugs are legal to use as one wishes, then I do think one can be happy. In order to relate the question to my situation, let me first tell you a little bit about me. I grew up in a very Puritanical household where everything was black or white: drugs are bad, inherrently evil; the definition of an addict was someone who lacked self-control and all will power; self-sacrifice is a virtue, especially if it's self-sacrifice for those in your family; respect is not something that one is inherently given, it is earned; mental illness is not talked about, and not taken seriously--it is something that one is supposed to be able to control, and the innability to control is is perceived as a lack of will power (it is also frowned upon because heaven forbid anyone imply that my family fucked up, which would be the case if anyone in my family was mentally ill, which is the case. For instance, I am 24 and my mother is 64 (my father is deceased but would have been 72). I have three older sisters, aged 39, 37, and 36. I can not have a logical, intelligent conversation about drugs with my sisters, and definitly with my mother. They have known that I use drugs for about five years now. They (some more than others, in varying degrees--my mother being the most extreme, then my youngest sister, then my middle sister, then my oldest) think I am weak, immoral, gross, a bad person, and lazy. They don't understand why I do drugs. I don't even really fully understand why I do drugs. I've tried to explain it to them, but they either 1.) don't listen, which automatically makes me think they don't care and wonder why they even asked to begin with; 2.) resort to guilt to make me feel even worse about myself; or 3.) turn the situation around to make me feel beneath them (in a shallow and vain attempt to make themselves feel supieror). Like I said, everything is black and white. My mother feels it is perfectly fine to criticize me for using drugs, but it's horrible on my part if I criticize her for her faults (the inability to express maternal emotions toward her children--expressions of unconditional love, e.g.). The same is true of my sisters. They all dissaprove of my drug use for several reasons, but, like my mother, it is unaccpetable for me to criticize their faults. I think it's unacceptable for me to criticize my mother and sisters because 1.) they are just unable to accept the fact that they're not perfect and that they, too, have mental problems / character flaws, which would undermine their sense of superiority; and 2.) because they consider me to be an eternal child, and because they like having control over me, even though I am independent of them now. What is the result of this you might ask? I shall list them: I feel emotionally numb all of the time (well, I do feel angry, but other than that I don't feel anything at all--we'll get to the anger in a minute); I have no social life, no friends, have never been in a relationship; and I feel incredible guilt (everytime I try to stand up for myself and tell my mother and sisters that they're wrong and that I'm right, I feel guilty for disobeying them--this makes me extremely angry at myself and at them; this is my only emotion). When I use opiates, all of this goes away. Everything is reversed. I finally have peace of mind, and I feel content with the world. I feel happy for the first time. In this sense, I am a happy addict, because it's the ONLY time I feel happy. I fully admitt that I use drugs because of psychological / familial issues. I'm definately a walking dual-diagnosis. Do I think it's fair that the only time I feel happy is by doing something illegal, hell no! How can a group, a majority, ask someone to give up something that seems so basic to humans, the right to be happy? I've tried countells psych meds. I've been admitted to inpatient facitlities 7 times. I've been to one inpatient and three outpatient rehabs. I've seen countelss therapists since I was 15. Nothing works. The only thing that works is drugs. Granted my level of addiction isn't as high as others in here (I could go through about 150mg of hydrocodone in a day, maybe 100 mg of oxycodone--this is with 3 dosing times, meaning, for instance, the 150mg of hydro would be split up into three doses, probably 50 when i woke up, 50 in early evening, and 50 again sometime later in the evening, e.g.), but I'm still an addict nonetheless. To be honest, if it weren't for drugs, I wouldn't see the point in living. I really wouldn't. Why should someone be forced to live in a state of psychological and emotional misery their entire lives? Sure, I can change my part, but it never works because the other people in my life--my family--feel no need to change whatsoever. Indeed, depsite what they say, I think they like things the way they are. I think they like me being in a pertetual state of chaos because it gives them control, makes them feel normal, detracts from their own flaws. I have no plans on quitting my use of opiates. If I could, I'd use more. Unfortunately, with no social life, I have no connections, so I don't use everyday. It's more like when I can get it. But, believe me when I say that I cherish every minute of being high. It might be my crutch, but it's the only time I'm happy and can feel at peace with myself.
 
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