Anonymous Post: Is this assault?

[Samadhi]

Quote from the OP:

As I previously stated "My issue is a personal MOREL dilemma!" So irrespective of what the girl in question feels I had to make a decision as to whether or not I wanted to remain friends with the guy in question.

Yes the girl in question has no issue with what happened and IMO that is good as it is unlikely to cause her any distress in the future! Which is MY NUMBER ONE PRIOETY!!! This does NOT change my PERSONAL MORAL standards as to what is acceptable whether you are in a relationship or not!!

It's pretty simple then... don't be friends with him, if his behaviour offends you. In YOUR opinion, what he did was rape, but read vibr8tors post - it sounds almost identical, and neither her or her boyfriend mind when this happens. Just because you (and other people in this thread) think that this is rape, your female friend is fine with it... you never know, she may have thought it was hot and it may have opened a sexual exploration door for them.

If I remember correctly, you are good friends with the guy too. Have you spoken to him about this at all? Or was the information given to you in confidence.? If not, at least give the guy a chance to either explain himself or give you his side of the story.

This whole situation seems to be a molehill that's been made in to one fucking huge mountain. If you are that offended by it, don't be his friend. Personally (and this may change some peopeles' views about me), if i were in your shoes, i'd deal with the fact that it happened, realise that it's none of your business, as it was something that occured between them, and there is no negative feedback, and still be his friend. Talk to him about it, sure, and tell him that you don't think that it's very good behaviour, but to cut him off? Well, that's your choice.

 

[GenericMind]

GM, this information was shared with the OP by the woman. It's pretty obvious by the posts in this thread there are a wide variety of opinions on such topics, can you really fault him/her for asking for advice?

Absolutely, because the woman never asked for the OP's advice in the first place. I may not be a woman and this may not have happened to me, but if I was and it had I'd be pissed that a so-called friend saw fit to post about it on a public message board asking for advice like she had to the right to even be involved.

I don't fault the boyfriend, and I don't fault the woman in question. I fault the OP for not minding her own business. When someone wants your advice they'll ask you for it. Until then go get a job writing for a local newspaper column or something.

 

[DarthMom]

i didn't read all the posts. forgive me, i normally try before posting....but in any way...it is all about what the couple deems appropriate. my husband would not fuck me while i was sleeping, but if we WERE indeed both fucked up to that extent, i would forgive him, and understand, it is all about what the couple allows between them. even the couple themselves would disagree on this topic, so it is a hard one, one that a thread in bluelight wouldn't solve.

edit, ok so i read the last page....and i agree with vibby.

it is about knowing your partners boundaries, and the length of time in the relationship that would lead to the trust and understanding that would allow such an event.