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Recovery An Honest Review on Methadone Withdrawals

Day 41

Wow i feel great, the Iboga ceremony went great, it was not as intense as the first time but it definitely finish cleaning me up, we did tea this and the come up is fast and intense but so is the come down, just as fast, whole thing lasted 6 hours instead of 10. Tuesday was when i took it at night, didnt sleep that night, Wednsday was a very instropective day, analyzing what i saw and the questions we did. Last night i slept 5:30 hours, also took a solid shit (i wanted to cry when i saw it lol) no skin crawls, good mood, happier, no ideas of drugs of any kind, free at last. Now time for phase 2, gotta get my money up, luckily everything is set up to keep me busy. One thing is that my attudide is different, its not i know what i have to do, is i want to do what i have to do. Makes a lot of difference.

I was reading Marcus Aurelius today and wanted to write this small passage:
"Remember how long you've been putting this off, how many extensions the gods gave you, and you didnt use them. At some point you have to recognize what world is it that you belong to; what power rules it and from what source you spring; that there is a limit to the time assigned you and if you dont use it to free yourself it will be gone and will never return" Yeah fuck hard drugs.

Funghi out
 
Day 42

Today is xmas's eve, shiiiiiiiiit i cant even remember the last time i wasnt high on anything for xmas, not even drinking, since i was 13 or 14, so its been a long fucking time since that. Im going to spend xmas's eve with my family sober, its sounds weird to even type it or say it.....that would have been impossible, unthinkable for me but now im older, wiser, tired of the slavery shit bc thats ultimately what it is, you become a slave to this drug, theres just pain there. So im feeling very grateful for today (shit i even went and bought my old folks some presents this morning). Hope all BLighters have a great Xmas's Eve.

Funghi out.
 
Congratulations man way to go! You’re smashing it!

You off all the support meds as well? Amazing work if so.
 
THECATINTHEHAT said:
Congratulations man way to go! You’re smashing it!

You off all the support meds as well? Amazing work if so.
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Thanks man, it feels really good to work hard on something and finally start receiving some of the benefits. And yeah im off everything, all the meds (methadone, benzos, pregrab, clonidine) I just take my vitamins (Vit C and Vit D, B complex) and supplements Gingko Biloba.
 
That’s amazing mate well done! I’m on day 55 so I’m just a tiny bit ahead of you. I was down to the tiniest little bit of opiates before I finally got clean (after a solid year of detox/withdrawal/relapse battle) though so I didn’t have much physical stuff to go through at the end once I was off.

Things should just get better and better in physical terms for you now if you stay clean 😎
 
Day 46

Ive had a couple of good work days so far, made about 1k, my sleep is getting a bit better, today we taking out the boat to go fishing this morning. At night, im going to a friend's bday, gotta socialize more, ive been in a shell just hanging on until the worst of the wds and the mood gets better, i feel ready for that now. I even had a dream last night, it was a good one, i havent dreamt in a long time, fucking opiates, they even steal your dreams. Sex drive is also back with a vengeance. Ive lost like 14 pounds in these 46 days, which is good since the methadone made me kinda bloated and with the lyrica i was always hungry. Grateful that im pulling through this shit.

Funghi out
 
Day 49

New Years fucking Eve tonight!!! I cant even remember the last being completely sober for one of these. I had a good week, getting my office hours in, making some dough, being more active (i took up jumping rope, im getting better), although today i felt kinda down, maybe is the day or maybe is because i hardly slept last night but it was my bad i went to bed at 830pm loool (another one that i havent done in years, maybe when i was up for a couple days) and woke at 11pm thinking it was 6am, anyways i went back to sleep like at 4:30 until 9am. Ive been reading and writing a lot lately, just my plans for 2023, u know we junkies love to say "this is gonna be my year" and nothing changes but i feel this 2023 in going to be a good year from the jump. Tonight going to this big family/friends NYE party, im actually looking forward to it. Sometimes i feel like i dont wanna socialize with people but i force myself to do it, its not good being with your thoughts all the time, not because i want 2 use (i havent had one single addiction thought) but because thats how it starts or since im older i know when the "other" me is trying to fuck w me. Those thoughts are like birds flying over your head, they are going to come in different ways but i cant let them do a bird's nest in my head. Anyways good thing for Bluelight, where i can vent my shit and feel someone is going to go "i know exactly what this fool is talking about, ive been there, in those same shoes", so thanks everybody and have a happy New Year's.

Funghi out
 
Fungi amazing work.. Your right on imho to stay out of your head for a bit longer.. repeatedly recenter into right now.. oh and how amazing is Funghi for accomplishing all that you have? Simple and right now are the coordinates.. Follow those for a little longer and then you can open the sails in a minute or two.
 
Day 53

I got my license today, the shift/mechanical transmission one. Good thing i can swap it for a European one, at no extra cost. I did had swapped it but mine was an automatic license which is pretty worthless because 90% of vehicles in Europe are shift transmission and to get it there its kinda of expensive (where i live its like almost 3k euros or some shit) here it was like maybe 200 bucks (i had to pay some made up traffic tickets and it was expired from 6 years ago, so the taxes on that). Anyways Monday i took a microdose of Iboga and it made my day, its like a good positive mood altering coffee without the jitters, im sleeping better, like 5 to 530 hours, the only thing is im going to bed way to early (like at 930 1030pm tops) but i just feel very tired at time, maybe is because im waking up early and keeping myself busy, working, exercising (i like jumping rope now). Anyways in a week or two i wanna present this business prop to a friend's father, i think we can make some good dough, im sure of it. Lovely day here today, i think im going to see the new Avatar movie tonight with some friends (not really that excited since i wasnt that fan of the first one but i like James Cameron, specially his 80s and 90s work and besides I went to see Top Gun 2 with the same mindset and was pleasantly surprised, good times). Take care out there my friends and enjoy the rest of your day.

Funghi out.
 
Last edited:
Señor Moreno said:
Just ran into this thread, Fungus. You are a true soldier, be fucking proud of yourself.
Congrats, man.
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Thanks man, it hasnt been easy but i was really determined this time around. As i have written, the mind when its made up can be a powerful tool and with help and advice of some Bluelighter friends recommending me supplements, vitamins and with encouraging words (like yourself right to me) they really help me out. 53 days man, lol, it still feels weird saying it out loud. Un saludo, cuidate mucho Sr Moreno.
 
Day 56
Yesterday i crushed it at work, made some really good dough, today i came early to the beach house to chill this weekend. Anyways this is not what i wanted to post, i wanted to ask to help for a cousin that i have here that is really struggling. She is a 13 y/o girl that is not eating, she stopped eating since September, lost a gilliziom pounds (she was thin to being with) my uncle had to take her to the hospital and she stayed there a week i think, had to feed her with IV, had drs a nutritionist a Psychologist and even my mom when to check on her, with my mom there she started eating, apparently well, she got released, everything was going well until this week, she stopped eating again. Its gotten to the point of life and death, my mom tells me she is all bones. From what info i gather, she has moved to 4 ot 5 different schools, shes 13 but her father my uncle is 74 (idk if that has something to do with her or not) idk if she gets bullied at school or something but if anyone has experience with this or knows someone in this exact situation any precise info would be appreciated or if you can tell were to post this for better replies. Thank you and have a good day.
 
Day 58

Its been a chill out day since its a holiday here, so no work. Last night i got to hang out with a couple of OG friends, these are friends from my crazy days, out of the 6 of them 2 were junkies and although they didnt reached the depths of hell i did it was great seeing them sober and with good jobs and some of them married and with kids, we stayed together until 3am, laughing our asses off, reminiscing of some old funny stories.

You know watching all these friends and the suffering some of us had to go through to be here laughing and almost look like "normal" humans beings (which none of us really are) made me think about how to bear the suffering, and continue on, you'd keep moving forward. The crying, the despair, the longing you seek, we seek.....for a struggling free life....
Perhaps if we accept that daily struggle is an inevitability and the meaning is found in the beautiful moments between the struggle....simple things, a smile from someone you care, a laugh, a pat in the back. Fill in the equivalent for your own life.

The moments of meaning are there. They are not guaranteed. The struggle is guaranteed. Dont cry for a world that gives and takes away. For life is full of love and pain.

Be sad of a world that only has pain, only lonely suffering, fear of what could have been. The suffering is guaranteed. The meaning is there for the taking. By you.

Bah im rambling but just wanted to share that. Grateful for these 58 days. Tomorrow, work day, lets get it!!!

Funghi out
 
Day 61

Holy shit, this afternoon something big is cooking at work, if this shit happens fuck im set for the next couple of years. Fuck i might take a sabbatical to Asia (loved Japan when i went there for a month, but there so many places i want to go, Indo, Thai, Myanmar, Cambodia, Vietnam) i havent told anyone irl since i dont like speak on something that is just starting, i might salt the damn thing. Its funny because this morning was very chill, even thought i slept like crap last night (woke up at midnight didnt go back to sleep until 530am) but im doing ok, sometimes better other times a bit down but nothing serious. 61 days lol fuck me sideways, i aint looking back not even to take a push or impulse forward. Its funny how the mind work, back im my active days if this woulda happen it was celebration time, and we all know what that means, a week straight of mayhem, credit cards maxed, borrowing money, pawning shit. Lol i remember one of my old pushers back in the day dressed fuck deck like me, everything branded, kicks, watches, sunglasses, it was ridiculous. Now its a different mindset, breathe mothefuck, just breathe and everything will pan out alright. Hope you guys are having a grest start of the year, if not is ok, attitude and not giving up helps a ton. Take care.

Funghi out
 
Day 69 here

I havent posted in a while, i have been very busy at work, gotta get that money up, since my account was on - lol, also been making some moves with some friends to set something up when i return home (A city in Europe). The other day went to a underground techno party and even though i had fun ans enjoyed the music its not the same, without the drugs too many new kids, that i didnt know saying hi to me....but i guess that how it goes, you pass the torch, i left early. Been exercising and surfing a bit when i can. Lets see how much longer i can stay here, i feel strong but need to get stronger.

Funghi out
 
Day 73

Been crushing it at work these past few days, i mean crushing it (over 10k made in two days) and tomorrow theres a meeting were i can make 3x times that, its not signing anything yet but its getting serious, so tomorrow i gotta be on my A game. This weekend was good, went to some indian caves and surfing with my brother, we even found a lil secret beach spot. Tonight im meeting with a friend that i having seen in 10 years easy, this dude is like a brother, lived with me in nyc for a while and come to find out he has been living here for over a year lol. How the world spins, he tells me he is clean (besides the occasional drinking and maybe some weed but i dont count that, thats minor league to us....and he and i used to go hard, but he never touched heroin or opiates, well im lying one time i gave him a quarter of a fentanyl patch and he puked his guts out and said fuck this high lol) anyways yeah feeling good. I feel kinda lame posting this though, its like life is peachy when i know its a roller coaster but right now life is good, it hasnt been this good in a long time so im cherishing it to the fullest, i know the comedown will come, hey its life but right now, hell fucking yeah 2 life.

Funghi out
 
Day 74

Mood of today:

The devil whispered in my ear, 'You are not strong enough for the storm' Today I whispered in the devil's ear, 'I am the storm' C. Booker

Funghi out.
 
Nice work.. I wouldn’t discount drinking completely as that can become a nightmare.
 
Day 81

Been keeping busy at work and reading, surfing, fishing but my mind started to fuck w me just a lil lately. Like this sunday theres this beach afternoon event, im on the list blah blah but im already thinking hmm maybe some coke wouldn't do any harm, a friend has some mushrooms cookies and im going with him to the party, im all im thinking after all these thought "funghi play the whole fucking movie, you know hiw this ends, w a spike in your arm.." its not like im thinking about this all day but its been on my mind lately. Sometimes i think i should take a benzo or something (i have so many of them thst i didnt take when i kicked them) but im like nah, thats a momentary band-aid. Lets see how it goes.

Funghi out
 
How was the beach afternoon event sober? guess thats Sunday tho. Have you been looking to cultivate some friends that no longer use. It may require less effort and be more peaceful to hang most of the time with a crew where you are not routinely tempted.
 
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