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Almost 23 and have never gotten laid

J

jr6654

Ex-Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 15, 2017
Messages
116
Almost 23 and have never been laid

I'm turning 23 in may and still a virgin. It's just never happened. It's really something that is on my mind a lot and has got me really bummed out. I'm not awkward with girls but i don't think i'm the best looking guy either and i don't know what to think anymore. The pic below is me. What should I do?

6gOseLp.jpg
 
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Your face looks fine to me. Nose, eyes, ears, mouth.. all accounted for. You can't change it so you might as well accept what you've got. Your body you can do something about.. hit the gym brother! Incidentally if you put on mass it can affect the way your face looks, but at the least your skin will look healthier if you're staying fit.. and women will notice that.
 
Trust me on this, if you can't get laid on a regular basis you're better off staying a virgin. It's a lot worse once you know what you're missing. Spending the majority of my life isolated and alone would've been easier had i still been a virgin.

Unfortunately i have no advice for you but to keep trying, keep making friends and meeting people until you finally hit the relationship lottery and find somebody like I've managed to do very few times (not referring to just sex but relationships).
 
tathra said:
Trust me on this, if you can't get laid on a regular basis you're better off staying a virgin. It's a lot worse once you know what you're missing. Spending the majority of my life isolated and alone would've been easier had i still been a virgin.

Unfortunately i have no advice for you but to keep trying, keep making friends and meeting people until you finally hit the relationship lottery and find somebody like I've managed to do very few times (not referring to just sex but relationships).
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Honestly i think i'm just fuck ugly, i can't grow a beard and i look even shittier with nothing on my face. I'm borderline suicidal because of all this tbh

I'm short, get "you're not my typed" by the majority of the female population and it just feeds my self hatred, anger and sadness with life

And saying i am missing something good makes it worse lol
 
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I do too man. I do think I'm ugly because of having been through so much rejection and inability to attract most women, though I'm not actually, I'm just not most people's type. it sounds like it's the same for you.

Just hang in there though, you're somebody's type, she just might be really really hard to find. Only way you can find her is to keep trying.
 
Thanks. At least you have attracted SOMEONE though. And some people tell me i'm not even that ugly, it's just the really shallow ones who say i am.

I'm just planning on trying to grow a beard. All else fails, nothing says manly and sexy like a fuck-off beard. Shallow, but it might work

Strength thru pain.
 
get rid of the stache (it looks worse than nothing, seriously)

get a better haircut. short-ish on the sides and medium on top, like what every young guy has these days.

hit the gym and start targeting the upper body

get a slight tan

are your teeth straight and reasonably white? can't tell with pic

go to a bar on a fri / sat night, get a few drinks in you, and start chatting up girls

failing all that, lower your standards and try again

and for god's sake don't kill yourself because you're a virgin

good luck
 
It might be a good thing that your a virgin. Maybe use it to invest in your future with your potential partner, don't look around bars etc. If you are wholeheartedly seeking a mate try find one thats going to be perfect for you, try looking around the areas you frequent. I got no idea what you're interested in but look around those places. If you just want to get your dick wet then find a prostitute.
 
"12. You don’t have to lose your virginity so quickly. And if you haven’t lost it yet, it’s not a big deal at all."

- from the "50 Tiny Truths Every 20-Something Needs to Realize" article that has been making the rounds

Maybe, just maybe, that is true.
 
Durzo1258 said:
Not having facial hair is better than desperately trying make something out of nothing. I for example maintain a 2-3 day stumble.
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Yes but what about the women who like facial hair? Or those who think I am young and stupid just because I can't grow something out of my face that they themselves are not capable of?

"You're not my type", it has been said to me so many fucking times. Do they think i LIKE looking the way i do?
 
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Please, don't "try" to grow a beard, this implies some effort of will where there is actually none, your facial hair, like your facial features, is largely determined by genetics and therefore outside of your control.

Instead, try to do something that is within your control to make yourself into a more attractive person. Do you have any hobbies? If not, get some (ideally sports but anything challenging will do) and focus on them so that you don't have as much time to think about not having had sex yet.

You know who will care in ten years time that you were a virgin when you were 23? No one. You know who cares now? No one but you.

Do yourself a favour and try to stop caring so much. If this is your only problem in life at 23 then you are doing pretty well.
 
Vastness said:
Do yourself a favour and try to stop caring so much. If this is your only problem in life at 23 then you are doing pretty well.
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I have bigger problems believe me, I'm poor, I am forced to work shitty minimum wage jobs to pay rent and my parents are also both old (60) and not going to be around forever. It's not the biggest problem but it's a problem. And when i hear thru the wall my 20-year old neighbor giving girls orgasms every night it just about puts me over the edge.

I don't know what I have to do to prove that my dick is worthy of being inside her vagina, what kind of masculine build-up and affect do I need? Do I have to become the very opposite of a woman, big and hard and insensitive? Sex is psychologically and physically healthy and I'm pretty sure I have low libido and low T as a result of lack of it
 
jr6654 said:
Yes but what about the women who like facial hair? Or those who think I am young and stupid just because I can't grow something out of my face that they themselves are not capable of?

"You're not my type", it has been said to me so many fucking times. Do they think i LIKE looking the way i do?
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You can't please everyone. And a woman who likes facial hair will not like that moustache. I got way more facial hair than you and I still couldn't go full lumberjack, best I can do is few days stumble. Learn to work with what you have not with what you need / want. Your moustache is screaming "I'm desperate to show I got facial hair". Not everyone has good facial hair, shave that thing off and accept the fact that for time being you won't be able to attract females who likes beards.
You can't do much to change your facial hair, but you can change other things. Like others said, get fit. You don't need massive guns and a six pack but being in good shape will not only male you look more attractive, but it will also make you more confident. Find a hair cut that works for your face. The way you dress makes difference too. And most importantly, get busy find some hobbies and activities. The more time you spend out the bigger your chance of meting someone.
Also sorry to break this to you, but caring this much makes you look needy and desperate and those are red flags for girls.

As for low T, get a blood test if you want to be sure.
 
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Durzo1258 said:
shave that thing off and accept the fact that for time being you won't be able to attract females who likes beards.
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I guess this is probably one of my more negative personality traits but part of me just wants to ride it out until time and age does its thing and I finally grow a full beard and look hyper masculine, and then i can attract the absolute most carnal and shallow of women. I don't know if it's even worth it if i look the way I do
 
Mysterie said:
pay a hooker

thats my initial opinion
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Doubt that will help in his case.
jr6654 said:
I guess this is probably one of my more negative personality traits but part of me just wants to ride it out until time and age does its thing and I finally grow a full beard and look hyper masculine, and then i can attract the absolute most carnal and shallow of women. I don't know if it's even worth it if i look the way I do
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It will take long years to get there, don't do it to yourself, walking around with that stache is not going to do you any good. With all the lumberjacks walking around it will make your stache look even worse. I get that you want a masculine facial hair, but it doesn't look good. Moustache is not fashionable these days. So do yourself a favour and shave.
 
I think the issue here is less about your looks and more about your mindset. Cliche' I know but women pickup on self-doubt and insecurity; if you believe your not worth her time it comes across like that.

It's hard to change, sure. Especially once your ingrained into a certain pattern of thinking, but it's possible. If you're this determined id just run a numbers game and approach/message as many women as possible, law of probability suggests that one will eventually be interested.
 
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