Alcoholism Thread V. ti martwonies

[Mariposa]

^Regarding relapse - exercise instead, and find non-alcoholic tasty beverages. I've become partial to Safeway diet black cherry soda and various teas.

Had a couple slip-ups with spirits several days ago, but other than that it's sought its own level again - was totally abstinent yesterday and planning another abstinent day today (am babysitting later).

I find I can enjoy beer only in moderation at this point. I'm down to 5 mg Valium daily as well. No shakes, no w/d, no anxiety. The catalyst was a major change in life situation (a good one). Good things are happening to me a lot now that I don't drink as much. The people I am staying with drink only at night, not every night, so I'd feel like an ass if I was the only one drinking. Therefore... exercise bike and light cannabis use (that's never been a problem) instead!

I like the clearheadedness that truly light to moderate drinking gives me. I didn't realize what a fog I was in until I cut down - now colors look brighter, I have more energy, and I am in a far less depressed mood. I like what my body is trying to tell me and hopefully I will continue to listen to it and show it more care and respect.

 

[batmanplaybaseball]

I'm staying strong. One week now and i have upped my exercise to nearly three hours a day and I'm continuing to drink carrot juice instead of beer. I feel great, but I still feel like my body is in a forgiveness mode. I have been able to keep away what i call the 'one beer syndrome'. I do it by knowing that even i keep myself to one beer in an evening, it will just mean that i need one beer the following evening, or afternoon and so on. Not to mention that i will most definitely slip up eventually. It is much easier to do everything without drinking, including not drinking. Every day is a success i guess.

 

[LaserHosen]

Holy cow Batman

Three hours of exercise is a lot per day. I'm also of the persuasion to do lots of exercise to boost endorphins and stay off the drink. I can usually manage two sessions of around an hour (0:45 mins if gym work and 1:20 max if running). I'm not able to do this everyday though from muscle fatigue 'n stuff.

What sort of variations do you do that let you fill up this much spare time with exercise?

 

[batmanplaybaseball]

Haha, yeah it's a lot. Living close by a 24 hour gym helps a lot. To start with i get up at around 6 in the morning and start with my stretches and then i do various ab workouts, pushups, that kind of thing. Then i get on the treadmill and do a half hour, followed by a half hour on the elliptical. Once i am done with that i do various weights on my upper followed by lower body. This all takes about two hours, maybe a bit more. Lately i have been doing extra of everything to get at the third hour. Either that or i end up back at night and basically do a reduced version of the morning routine.

Either way it feels way better since i gave up drinking. Everything i read about this topic says that even moderate drinking will inhibit all of the positive effects from exercise, and i could hardly ever have been called a moderate drinker.

 

[Cyc]

^ Good for you. I remember when I caught the fitness bug a few years back and it truly was amazing. I think I burned myself out though because once I hit all my major goals, I slid back into doing nothing.

I often think about hitting the gym hard like that again. I know I can do it. Hell, I've proved it to myself.. it's just finding the time and working up the motivation.

 

[Mariposa]

I have a really nice exercise bike now. I have taken advantage of it a couple times this week instead of drinking and although I don't get the euphoria others get from hard exercise, it tires me out.

What's pissing me off at the moment and making me want to drink a beer I want to save for my birthday in 2 days (the thought of which makes me want to drink in and of itself) is that I drank a strong Vietnamese iced coffee WAY too late in the day today and I am still wired. I am saving the beer and reading myself to sleep. I was super busy all day in a semi-nerve-wracking situation (not a bad one, just important) and I'm not getting a freaking break all week because of multiple birthdays and required social functions as a result. One will be for a kid so obviously alcohol won't be involved. Mine? I want beer!

Today, I handled well, though. I had lunch at a brewery and had 1 pint plus 1 small taster glass only. Ordinarily I'd have pounded 3 but it was a situation that required that I hold my shit together and not take any chances. I didn't, I'm sober now, just can't sleep because of that caffeine. grrr!

 

[Jekyll and Hyde]

^Regarding relapse - exercise instead, and find non-alcoholic tasty beverages. I've become partial to Safeway diet black cherry soda and various teas.

Had a couple slip-ups with spirits several days ago, but other than that it's sought its own level again - was totally abstinent yesterday and planning another abstinent day today (am babysitting later).

I find I can enjoy beer only in moderation at this point. I'm down to 5 mg Valium daily as well. No shakes, no w/d, no anxiety. The catalyst was a major change in life situation (a good one). Good things are happening to me a lot now that I don't drink as much. The people I am staying with drink only at night, not every night, so I'd feel like an ass if I was the only one drinking. Therefore... exercise bike and light cannabis use (that's never been a problem) instead!

I like the clearheadedness that truly light to moderate drinking gives me. I didn't realize what a fog I was in until I cut down - now colors look brighter, I have more energy, and I am in a far less depressed mood. I like what my body is trying to tell me and hopefully I will continue to listen to it and show it more care and respect.

My depression has limited the amount of drinking I can do. It gets so bad the day after drinking, emotionally, that it isn't even worth it most of the time.

 

[RedLeader]

How is everyone going?

 

[paranoid android]

Except for half a bottle of wine with dinner about 3 days ago i havent touched a drop of alcohol. I havent been drunk at all since that horrible 3 days bender i had in a fit of depression.

 

[batmanplaybaseball]

I got drunk two weeks ago, on that Saturday. Besides that one slip, which was really an active decision, dipping my foot in the fire kind of thing. Besides that night i have been four weeks now without alcohol. I have not felt better in a long time.

My realization about drinking came that i would never ever get anything done in my life if i continued to drink. I am not saying that i will never drink again. In fact i am sure that i will drink again at some point, within reason. All i am saying is that now i cannot, i will fail and die if i continue down that path.

The way i look at it is that i was celebrating before any victory. Imagine if the basketball team broke into the champagne before the championship game, how successful would they be. That's where i was and now i am somewhere else. I'm not going to win the basketball championship no matter what, but still the champagne needs to wait.

 

[batmanplaybaseball]

Today I was working, roofing a house, and this shirtless man comes up to the fence next door and starts to heckle our crew. His gut alone must have weighed as much as a middle schooler, and his mustache likewise.
He was rambling in a rough grumble about really nothing, and kept repeating every sentence over and over. It was obvious he was a serious alcoholic and my buddy told me that he is always in that state, a lifer.

Really it was just sad. He was mean, stupid, and god bless it, worthless, really really worthless. He was technically alive, but only in technical terms.

There is not much like standing in the cool breeze and sunshine making a decent day of work and looking over at the other side of the fence, literally and figuratively.

Alcoholism will leave you with nothing. If you doubt it, ask that guy, you can meet him at the end of the line...

 

[Cloudburst]

Anyone watched that 20/20 episode dealing with individuals having long-term alcoholism? I didn't watch the whole thing but I recall it displayed footage of detox and rehab which is usually strictly prohibited in such centers. Might be of great insight to some people, maybe bouncing around the net...

 

[n3ophy7e]

batman, that is a pretty cool story actually. Not so much for the alcoholic you saw, which is really really sad. But for the revelation it caused you to have. Good work man

 

[phactor]

Either way it feels way better since i gave up drinking. Everything i read about this topic says that even moderate drinking will inhibit all of the positive effects from exercise, and i could hardly ever have been called a moderate drinker.

Take that with a grain of salt. Most bodybuilders can get a little umm intense when it comes to that stuff. Its good that you stopped drinking, but I have put on a pretty decent amount of weight (10 to 15) while still having some beers at night.

So don't start drinking but you can still gain if you keep your drinking under control.

Anyways I have a three day weekend next week. May be good to take the full weekend off. Not sure though since I will still hopefully be cannabis free at that point and may want some beers. Finally starting to pull myself back together after my dad's heart attack and then my parents terrible car crash a few days later.

KEEP IT UP EVERYONE!! I keep thinking about those two weeks I had a couple months ago, would be great to have a fully sober week or two.

 

[batmanplaybaseball]

Take that with a grain of salt. Most bodybuilders can get a little umm intense when it comes to that stuff. Its good that you stopped drinking, but I have put on a pretty decent amount of weight (10 to 15) while still having some beers at night.

So don't start drinking but you can still gain if you keep your drinking under control.

Anyways I have a three day weekend next week. May be good to take the full weekend off. Not sure though since I will still hopefully be cannabis free at that point and may want some beers. Finally starting to pull myself back together after my dad's heart attack and then my parents terrible car crash a few days later.

KEEP IT UP EVERYONE!! I keep thinking about those two weeks I had a couple months ago, would be great to have a fully sober week or two.

I understand what you are saying. Often I change my opinions on these things weekly anyways. The thing about alcohol and working out for me is that it at least makes me FEEL less productive. Maybe that's because I feel like i have to first exercise off the toxins before i can start getting at my core self.

 

[phactor]

I understand what you are saying. Often I change my opinions on these things weekly anyways. The thing about alcohol and working out for me is that it at least makes me FEEL less productive. Maybe that's because I feel like i have to first exercise off the toxins before i can start getting at my core self.

Totally understand what you are saying man. Obviously staying off it is for the best. Of course it is going to have some effect.

When I first started lifting I went nuts and was freaking out because I didn't feel ready to quit drinking but I wanted to put on mass. For me the solution was to just cut back to moderate consumption. Now I have enough personal evidence that shows me that a beer or two a night won't ruin my hard work. However getting tanked might and I will not be going to the gym the next day either. Everyone is different.

Exercise is so key for reducing my desire to drink. Its frankly amazing how much of an impact it has on me mentally and physically.

 

[n3ophy7e]

I've said this so many times before you're all probably sick of hearing it only to have me follow through with nothing. But this has got to stop. Enough is emough. I am going to finally book an appointment with my doctor to start making a serious effort to quit drinking. I'm hopefully going to get an appointment on Thursday afternoon, I'm going to get my liver function tested, I'm going to get a referral for a reputable alcohol counsellor, and hopefully even get a temazepam script to help me through the initial insomnia phase of withdrawals.
Tonight is the first night I haven't had a drink for more than a month, before which I had a 3 day break, and before that I can't recall my last sober day. The only way I've gotten through today without a drink is by taking all of what I have left of my temazepam (40mg), and yet I am still absolutely petrified of trying to go to sleep and the possibility of just lying here in the darkness for hours and hours, anxious as fuck
I keep making these half-arsed "pacts" to myself but I never follow through. I've got symptoms of peripheral neuropathy, I'm getting a lot of memory loss (not blackouts, just loss of stored memories), my entire gastro-intestinal tract is completely fucked, and my whole body feels bruised, like I've been beaten up with a baseball bat. Like I said, enough is enough.

 

[skillz~4~thrillz]

I've said this so many times before you're all probably sick of hearing it only to have me follow through with nothing. But this has got to stop. Enough is emough. I am going to finally book an appointment with my doctor to start making a serious effort to quit drinking. I'm hopefully going to get an appointment on Thursday afternoon, I'm going to get my liver function tested, I'm going to get a referral for a reputable alcohol counsellor, and hopefully even get a temazepam script to help me through the initial insomnia phase of withdrawals.
Tonight is the first night I haven't had a drink for more than a month, before which I had a 3 day break, and before that I can't recall my last sober day. The only way I've gotten through today without a drink is by taking all of what I have left of my temazepam (40mg), and yet I am still absolutely petrified of trying to go to sleep and the possibility of just lying here in the darkness for hours and hours, anxious as fuck
I keep making these half-arsed "pacts" to myself but I never follow through. Like I said, enough is enough.

Wish me luck everyone

I believe in you n3o...you can do it.I will send strengthening and healing energy your way.I did it years ago-I have maybe 10 beers a year after an 8 year alcohol soaked semblance of a person.

I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!GOOD LUCK,SWEETIE,here if you need to talk.I know where you are coming from.I had to be chemically detoxed off booze with librium.Do whatever it takes.we are all pulling for you,love.

MUCH Peace and Love...............skillz

 

[Jabberwocky]

n3ophy7e all the best with it, I know what you mean by the memory loss thing. Trust me it all comes back but after a long period of sobriety, am suffering from this problem atm though as I gave myself a treat a month and a bit back which escalated to on / off drinking.

Prior to this I had lasted 5 months of only drinking maybe 3 - 5 times, my uni was progressing well but then it hit a stop sign. I studied for this uni subject before the subject even began, lost interest in it after compiling 3 different lots of summaries and even writing blogs for it. I did my assignment whilst hung over it seemed to be that easy but a few days later I was sober and realised my corrections I could of made for it, ah well - even though I am aiming for 85% for this subject, who cares. A few days later I start my last essay which needs to be done, all the plan work is done for it, all the research / references and yet I can't even write the thing. It's ok though still have another few weeks.

Any how I have been suffering from depression for a very long time and just when things seemed to be going ok I thought I was normal again I chose to go out and drink, the drink you could say probably did a better job then my anti depressants for a short while until I started binge drinking and then needed harder grog and so out comes a 10 pack of Smirnoff Blacks with beers on top and I see myself gambling which I haven't done since last year besides a minor slip up a few weeks back as well, this was all a week and a bit ago and again in a drunken state, thinking it's the only way I can socialise I ruin myself again.

Why can't the Australian nation just accept we don't need to be drinking to be the best of mates, there are other ways. Instead the one's who don't drink are frowned upon due to the insecurity of those who do. I have tried to find new friends and yet still fail and this damn depression seems to be blocking me from everything. Every time I try to push forward it pushes me back regardless of my might or intellect.

I am now 3 days sober and hopefully it remains for a while.............If not Jim Beam will get rich again

 

[Mariposa]

n3o, I commend and support you for your efforts. I know you have tried many things in the past, and although I think you might do better either tapering alcohol with alcohol if you can do it, or with a longer-acting benzodiazepine such as Valium (preferably) or Klonopin, it's that sheer willpower that will get you through the rough times, all discomfort aside. You know where to find my contact info - if not, PM me. I get cheap international long distance and free messaging of multiple types.

I really recommend - if you can do it - keeping a steady-state blood level of a long-acting benzodiazepine. 5 mg of Valium per day with .5-1 mg Xanax PRN for panic attacks (which only happen now rarely and are usually correlated with caffeine) does the trick for me. Librium is also a good one for alkies who are making efforts to quit. Temazepam, IMO, really shouldn't be taken for more than 5-7 days at a time. Your doctor will need to know how many standard alcohol units you have on an average day. You will be surprised at how effectively your body will regenerate provided you eat a healthy diet, drink water, exercise without pushing too hard, and keep yourself distracted.

I have more days not drinking than drinking still. Saturday I drank in a social situation (Kentucky Derby / meetup with new friend) and found myself really enjoying alcohol for its own sake rather than being obsessed with it. I also used the "buddy system" where despite the presence and intake of hard alcohol, my friend and I watched out for each other and it was EXACTLY the kind of positive experience with alcohol that is appropriate. Yesterday and today = both "off" days. Tomorrow there's a social event I'll be attending at a bar, and I will have a couple pints there.

Sticking to 1-2 pints in social situations continues to benefit my wallet, my workouts, and perhaps most importantly, my friendships and family relationships. I just don't get sloppy/messy/bitchy anymore. I'm in a place where liquor is sold only at liquor stores, and although I am crafty enough to have found my way there a couple times (), I've got responsibilities and a life to live that really are not compatible with heavy drinking. I'm also not all that familiar with this place yet (rural area outside of a major city to which I commute). Making it "home" while shitfaced as a woman traveling alone most of the time is not safe or smart.

Phactor - my goal is neither body building nor weight loss per se, I'm exercising 5 times a week for 45-60 minutes on the stationary bike or elliptical, or playing soccer or hockey with my cousins. It ramps up my appetite, which I need, because although blood work in March came back perfect (how this happened I will never know), alcoholics can suffer from malnutrition from imbibing empty calories rather than ingesting healthy ones. It's a task to eat 3 square meals a day for me even now that I drink less as I've never had a healthy appetite when stressed. No, 1-2 beers every couple days is not going to screw up your progress. You should chase each with an equivalent amount of water to keep your electrolyte balance where it should be and prevent dehydration, and drink light beer if possible.

noonoo - eek, booze and gambling - that's got the potential for a bad dual addiction right there. I know EXACTLY what you mean by alcohol relieving anxiety, particularly social anxiety; some of us are just "wired" that way. I have yet to find a more effective anxiolytic than alcohol and I keep a steady state with Valium. Problem is, the rebound anxiety, the "chasing of the high" - and the fact that alcohol beyond a certain point can really knock out your capacity for rational thought. This is especially difficult for the gamblers I know. I don't really gamble and never have, but for "sure things" I've been known to drop a few bucks sober. I shudder to think if I gambled while drinking, and now I am in an area where video poker is at every freaking corner pub. I can't stop in for a burger and beer without being around it. There are people here whose sole earnings are from going to the bar and playing video poker. If that is luck, I'd rather stay forever unlucky. Good luck in your last few weeks at uni - yes, you've plenty of time to get your grades up and finish your tasks.

EVERYONE - much love and strength.