Alcoholism Thread V. ti martwonies

[Mariposa]

^^ Thanks honey
Cold & flu tablets here in Aus contain apap (500mg each), pseudoephedrine, codeine and triprolidine (the sleepy part ). I'd only ever take 2 of them per day, which is only 1g of apap, so that'd be fine, right?

Yes, in theory 1g of APAP wouldn't be a big deal. But as there are many non-APAP containing preparations out there (and you can always do a CWE on the cold & flu tabs ) I'd go with one of those. Then again, I am probably unnecessarily paranoid about APAP. If your liver function is normal, you shouldn't have any problems.

Today is Cinco de Drinko but I'm going to go easy on it. I had a huge panic attack this morning and not much sleep despite 50 mg Benadryl and 10 mg diazepam, and I am craving today, but I have work to do before I can go out and play tonight. :D Keeping it to social situations really seems to be key for me.

I'm going to see if tramadol (which I am not prone to abusing and use as an antidepressant) will do the trick for the underlying issue - depression. It certainly has in the past. It is not a traditional route, but as I do not respond well to SSRIs it's somewhat of the next step. I really can't drink much, if at all, on tramadol. I wonder sometimes if my benzos make me more depressed but it's not an option to be off them at the moment.

 

[n3ophy7e]

Thank you for the advice guys

I saw my doctor on Thursday afternoon and laid it ALL out on the line. She was absolutely lovely and so very helpful, I'm really excited to see what she sets out for me in my plan. I'm going back to see her this Thursday to talk more about it.

I planned to try and taper off in the meantime, but instead, circumstances dictated that I actually didn't have anything to drink yesterday. I had uni during the day, then I babysat my nephew in the evening, and by the time I got home it was too late to have anything to drink (because I had to be up at the crack of dawn today).

So needless to say I had a fucking horrible time last night. I actually had my first ever panic attack in bed. Then when I did actually manage to sleep I had nightmares all night, and one really really vivid dream about my relationship breaking up. My heart broke in my dream and although I know it wasn't real, I am feeling so sad and hurt today.

It'll be alright though, I'm looking forward to tackling this properly.


So, how's everyone else doing?

 

[Jabberwocky]

I choked this week twice, it seems that now when I drink alone or in shit company I am in a very bad state of where I actually don't enjoy the drink but yet still drink it for the sake of it. I feel as if I drank this week for the sake of it, as that's what I do rather then for enjoying it.

I am still at cross roads as to what to do but the only sensible option seems to be to quit all together and allow my intellect to be my pleasure which is what the situation was some months back. Instead now I ruin my intellect with hopeless drinking and let everything get to shit again.

Thanks to drink I haven't been able to hold myself up to the great qualities which I believe I posess. It seems to be like a no brainer, take the logical path but the drink gives me comfort in some sort of disturbing way and so I ponder perhaps I should be hugging a stuffed animal of some sort when I need comfort?

 

[monchi]

n3o im super impressed with you decisive action, and the follow through as well.

aswell, there are so many people in this thread really hanging in there and i am again impressed.

myself, im not pulling my weight. the slips are multiplying. i feel like im in danger of giving up. i still have hope but im not feeling very good about myself right now, and so its hard to reengage and make a fresh start. i know this is part of the process, and im not giving up, im just feeling very uncertain and low on the self-esteem.

sorry for the bummerness,

best to all, monchi

 

[ttownlcb2]

I am new to this post and sort of loath to admit I think I have a problem I appreciate all of everyone's honesty very much. I started drinking at night because I could not sleep. Doctors, or at least the ones of my various health plans, are so reluctant to prescribe anything. I have dealt with pain from chronic ulcers, depression and anxiety. Oh, you can get antidepressants out the ass, but it is like pulling teeth to get any pain medication when you are crying because you wake up in pain every night from ulcers.

I have a very straight job. I have seriously cut back to just wine and beer. I still get the shakes sometimes halfway through the day, but have found that Valerian root and 5-htp really help with that. I can't imagine doing any king of 12 step program as I not only don't believe in a "higher power", I am seriously not a joiner, of most groups, especially ones who want to dictate my lifestyle. I went most of my adult life without any addiction issues ((i.e. hardly drank or did drugs, except green) now in my later years, I find myself with this problem. I don't drink before or at work and manage to function on a high level during the day, but I know I have a problem. I really don't want to never have a drink again, I just want to not have to drink everyday. I moved to a new city last year and hardly know anyone. While my job is great and I recently adopted an awesome dog, I still have to live with the problem every day and I just don't know what to do. I don't want to lose everything just to get better. I feel like I live a dual life and hide who I am from everyone I know. I will never be able to have an authentic relationship while I am lying to everyone around me. How long can I keep this secret?

 

[hyroller]

I'm 4 days into a course of hardcore antibiotics, and I have to say, resisting wine has never been so gruelling! I think particularly because I'm unable to indulge

but also, it's become my friend lately, my little vice when I'm sitting online and mulling over various things.... and is ever more desirable as I sit now trying not to freeze my ass off after taking up residence near a shoreline(!).
and, it tastes nice. But after losing my licence for 6 months about 6 weeks ago for blowing over the limit (when I didn't feel very pissed in the first place), I've been consciously cutting back and just doing without. but tonight it would be nice....meh.

Mind over matter hey! I'm sure my agony is mild compared with the struggles of most. bless

 

[n3ophy7e]

n3o im super impressed with your decisive action, and the follow through as well.

Thank you for the encouragement
Unfortunately I had to drink tonight because of my hortrific night last night, which has left me rather traumatised. But I'm looking forward to having success in the very near future

myself, im not pulling my weight. the slips are multiplying. i feel like im in danger of giving up. i still have hope but im not feeling very good about myself right now, and so its hard to reengage and make a fresh start. i know this is part of the process, and im not giving up, im just feeling very uncertain and low on the self-esteem.

I know it's so easy to feel negative about relapsing, and to beat yourself up about it. But as I'm sure you've heard or read before, relapse is very common in anyone's journey to sobriety. It doesn't mean you're weak or a failure, and it certainly doesn't mean you have to give up. Just keep on doing the best that you can and you will succeed.
By the way hun, you have been so awesome to people in this thread, so thank you and massive respect

I don't drink before or at work and manage to function on a high level during the day, but I know I have a problem. I really don't want to never have a drink again, I just want to not have to drink everyday.

This sounds extremely similar to my drinking patterns, so I can definitely relate.

I don't want to lose everything just to get better. I feel like I live a dual life and hide who I am from everyone I know. I will never be able to have an authentic relationship while I am lying to everyone around me. How long can I keep this secret?

But you don't need to lose everything to get better. Have you ever seen a counsellor or anything for your drinking? If not, your regular doctor would be the first place to start. They can give you a referral to a therapist. It's definitely worth looking in to. And no-one in your personal life will need to know unless you tell them.

 

[paranoid android]

Still getting alcohol cravings but not as bad. When im manic i really crave the stuff maybe as something to sorta shut my head up. I really can't drink now because drinking while on risperidone is not that great a plan.

 

[paranoid android]

Okay im slipping up tonight because well i feel like it. Just something to do and my green didnt come through. So i got 8 beers but i dunno how many i'll drink.

 

[daysonatrain]

hey DS, first time ive posted here in quite some time. Im a 26 y/o male who weighs around 160, fairly skinny. Ive been drinking heavy on and off for the last 6 years, in the last few months ive been drinking around half to three quarters of a fifth a day. Two days ago i drank half a fifth and 88 ounces of high gravity beer, the hangover was horrendous. So, this is day two of not drinking, any idea on how long this detox will last? or at least the worst parts of it, last night i didnt sleep at all, was incredibly paranoid and feeling sick, and on a couple occasions had kind of like shaking fits (i know these were not seizures, but unpleasant to say the least, i know because ive had seizures before, its kinda hard to describe what they were). I cannot go to the dr because i have no insurance and have no access to benzos or anything, are there any herbal things that could help me?

ive gone through alcohol withdrawal before along with severe heroin withdrawal so i kinda know the territory, but it really kinda sucks

 

[Jabberwocky]

Drank last night again, couldn't say no to free booze. The first drink tasted awesome after that it was the same old crap....

My drinking is severely affecting my uni studies now, I simply prefer to talk about doing work now then actually doing it and whenever pressure comes on i'm escaping through the bottle.

 

[n3ophy7e]

So, this is day two of not drinking, any idea on how long this detox will last? or at least the worst parts of it, last night i didnt sleep at all, was incredibly paranoid and feeling sick, and on a couple occasions had kind of like shaking fits (i know these were not seizures, but unpleasant to say the least, i know because ive had seizures before, its kinda hard to describe what they were). I cannot go to the dr because i have no insurance and have no access to benzos or anything, are there any herbal things that could help me?

Hi doat, welcome back to the thread
I'm really glad to hear that you're now on day 2 of sobriety, well done man! Is the shaking any less severe today? If it gets too violent you should have just a couple of drinks, as you know about the risks of seizures. As for sleeping, chamomile tea really helps me. If I have a few mugs of chamomile tea, I sleep pretty well right through to the morning. Valerian root is also a herbal supplement commonly used for sleeping, but it's more expensive than chamomile tea. Lavender is also very soothing.

 

[daysonatrain]

thanks n3o,

it got pretty bad for a while, i almost broke down and bought a bottle of wine to stop it. however, it is my habit to start with the idea "oh, ill just drink a little" and then when i finish what i have go out and buy enough so i can drink to blackout

anyway, held out and didnt get anything. while im feeling much better at the moment (compared to before) i can tell im going to get very little sleep tonight. the evening hours are always the worst, i guess its cause im so used to starting drinking around that time.

i will try out those herbs, thanks again. though ive always had a really hard time falling asleep anyway, ever since i was a kid.

 

[n3ophy7e]

Yeah the evenings are the worst for me too, so I can relate to that.

Good luck, and let us know how you're going

 

[SPC123]

Alcoholism

It's after 3am and I am drinking my second beer, alone in my room. I haven't left the house at all today. I am watching season 1 of 30 Rock because I can't sleep, and I felt the need for a buzz of some kind. Since alcohol is the only thing I have, that's what I am doing. This is the second time this week I've done this.

I have a lot of alcoholism on both sides of my family. I never really had the desire to drink other than socially until I hit my late 20s. Then I started to really like beer. That turned into really enjoying the buzz. Not being drunk per se, but the nice buzz you get off 2-4 beers on an empty stomach. Perhaps I am overthinking. It can't mean instant alcoholism just because you can't sleep and have a couple of beers alone, right?

 

[n3ophy7e]

^^ Hi SPC, firstly, we have an Alcoholism megathread here in The Dark Side already so I'm going to merge this thread in to that one. There's a lot of advice and support in that thread so please feel free to continue posting in there

But more specifically, to answer your question, no I don't think it automatically means you're an alcoholic if you have 2 inappropriate drinking sessions, even if you have alcoholism on both sides of your family. Yes, there is a lot of research which indicates a genetic link to alcoholism, but that doesn't mean you are destined to have it. Alcoholism is an illness which has genetic AND psychological AND environmental factors, so a lot of things usually contribute to a person developing a problem with alcohol.

What you need to do is to be very aware of your possible predisposition to alcoholism, and if you see this becoming a problem, do something about it NOW. Don't wait until it IS a problem, because by that stage it will be an increasingly difficult problem to fix.

 

[monchi]

hey yo!

n3o: thanks for the encouragement; you made me smile. and you're right, all is not lost. slips don't always mean failure and i needed to hear that. thanks babe.

pa: sounds like you and i are on a similar page right now. know enough to not want go there again... i smile every time you type in green. sometime it gets me though too.

today was ok, its been so busy at work that i came home, did chores and fell asleep. up at four am tomorrow for mother's day.

love to all the mother's in this thread? don't know if there are any....

 

[Jabberwocky]

After my drinking efforts last night and finding myself so hopeless today and my depression being worse I feel as if I really need to quit for good to get into the behaviour of not being a drinker for the remainder of my life. Although I did try this before and I couldn't fill the void for drinking even after months of abstinence.

Anyone got any suggestions on what a suitable void may be?

 

[drug_mentor]

Been doing pretty good lately, started smoking marijuana daily again about 2 months ago, still drinking most days but alot less and I am feeling healthier for it. Marijuana is a bit of a problem seeing as how I am technically supposed to be taking drug tests but I will figure it out, it really feels good to not be drinking so much all the time, you forget just how vile the shit is making you feel when you get so used to it.

 

[tee aich see]

Ugh I drunk drove last night. Drunk and on add meds I really wanted cigarettes, no stores open in town so I drove 15 mins to a 24 hour gas station just to get cigs. Fuck drunk driving I fucking hate when I do it.