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Alcoholism Thread V. ti martwonies

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yikes.

i guess what your flatmate said startled you some? what was going on at the time when you 'relapsed', did you just think why not?!? do you think you could get to that dried out stage again? once i am there it all becomes very unappealing, even more so with a bit of time, but then theres that space, that may last a moment or a month, where you are in limbo, in a inbetween space, where the desicion is made. we normaly set our selves up one way or another for an excuse, justification, or scapegoat.

after enough daunting realizations, and half hearted attempts some of us see it for what its worth, and can admit that we have gotten beat down. and give it up, some need or feel more comfortable for different reasons with groups or rehab, which if you havent been through, is very usefull. i still use things i learned in a 3 month stay 13 years ago, every day sometimes.

i hope the best works out for you, dont let relapses get to you. i dont count the days, or remember off hand the exact day i stopped drinking, thats easier for me, id prefer not to focus on it or my 'revory', its just that part of my life thats finaly over.
 
I guess they don't call it the "demon drink" for nothing. Good luck to all, myself included.
 
I'm not an alcoholic, and I can't understand what the thread title means. What is ti martwonies? Anyway, I guess I'll just post this here coz I found this thread.

I seem to be drinking more than usual lately. I seriously didn't even think about drinking for months and months. Except when I thought I might drink coz I had no other drugs around. But I didn't. I used to drink heaps in high school, like a bottle of wine or a tall glass of scotch every night basically. To deal with anxiety and depression and OCD.

It works well, I must say, but when I drink, I just want to be depressed if you know what I mean.....

I've just been drinking and watched Magnolia because I know it's a sort of depressing movie. Sad in a comfortable way though, which is what I do when I'm drunk. I just want to be comfortable in my sadness.

Anyway, I didn't drink for ages and then I started drinking again because I hung out with my friends for the first time in a while and the drink heaps. I didn't see them for like a year and a half. Barely drank. But in all that time they'd been drinking heaps so they have a high tolerance and drink heaps. Anyway, I'm not blaming them or anything. I'm just saying, I drank with them and then started drinking again by myself.

It's funny, coz I said to one of my friends just the other day that I don't drink by myself, even though I used to a few years ago. And then I realise just a few days before I drank by myself and now in the past couple of weeks I've been drinking by myself a fair bit.

I'm not even depressed anymore, I'm really not. But it's like I want to drink so I am depressed, which is why I watch those sad movies when I drink. I dunno, I can't psychoanalyse myself that deeply. But I think somehow I want to be depressed and lonely. Like that's who I am. Maybe I'm just hiding from anxiety. That's why I started drinking in high school heaps. I smoked weed on one particular occasion and had a panic attack and general dysphoria for weeks. Drinking helped I found.

Maybe that's why.

I just felt like writing a bit, sorry if I rambled on about nothing.
 
its been 56 hours without a drink. i am thirsty but cannot stand the wd's as i go into DT's. Luckily i have a bottle of 25mg librium to keep the shakes at bay. It is the insomnia that makes me want to grab a 6 pack
 
^are you sure you don't need to see a doctor?? im sure they could give you a few options that would help with detox, sleep, etc.

best of luck to you, keep going!! keep counting those hours!!
 
I'm not an alcoholic, and I can't understand what the thread title means. What is ti martwonies? Anyway, I guess I'll just post this here coz I found this thread.
Click to expand...

it's supposed to be a play on words. it means two martinis but a drunk person might say it "ti martwonies".
 
Alcohol is a nightmare. I struggle with it daily. After rehabs - at least 7 times withdrawing from it still calls my name... I know the pain it causes me and all around - the sweats, shakes, vomiting, dry heaves, weakness, insomnia, you know the drill...
 
Yeah I feel ya man. I'm in the same boat as you, just limiting it to a couple of drinks a day because I am really really struggling with horrible anxiety at night, insomnia, and nightmares if I haven't got any alcohol in my system. Awful!! But in terms of actually "getting drunk", I've been keeping that on a reasonably short rein...

burn out said:
it's supposed to be a play on words. it means two martinis but a drunk person might say it "ti martwonies".
Click to expand...

The official terminology of that type of play on words is "spoonerism" :)
/nerd %)


chompy, hang in there man, you're doing great! 3 days is awesome! <3


Witchen, thanks for sharing a bit of your story with us. Are you still drinking now? Or are you sober?
 
In a way i think alcohol is a very merciful drug. No other drug gives me so many immediate benefits from quitting it. But then alcohol also has it's own set of allures, like always being right down the street and perfectly socially acceptable (excluding our members from Arkansas) and that happy feeling of jumping off into carelessness whilst clanking your glasses and building up the dumbness.

I went three days this week without drinking. Last night i had four beers which is far under my normal 20+, so i wouldn't exactly call it a slip. There is something about building that complete abstinence streak which makes it a lot easier to stay clean (they call that 'the wagon' i believe)

Phactor - I know what you mean about drinking so that you're not hungover, but still knowing that it is affecting you. I never believe those claims that moderate alcohol is good for you, it just has never been my experience.
 
^^ Good work on the 3 days sober batman! That is a really good point you raise about being sober from alcohol having pretty immediate positive effects. Well, once you get past the first day or two :)
Like you said, 4 beers is okay and much better than your usual 20+ but be careful about consecutive drinking days, because as you know that number of beverages consumed just gets higher every day!

I had 2 sober days this week but didn't sleep from the anxiety, so I had a couple of beers the rest of the nights this week, just so I could get some sleep. It's a long weekend here in Australia now so I'm pretty much fucked for the next 4 days. And I'm on holidays from uni so I won't have any homework to keep me occupied in the evenings. But my boyfriend will be home from being away for work, as of Thursday. So he can help me get through the sober nights...
 
Two years today. I really think my life would be good now, if not for the benzo withdrawals.

I remember seeing this thread 2.5 years ago at the worst of my alcohol addiction but never posting because I did not think it I could ever quit. I did not think I could live without alcohol and for a long time, believed I would die from it. So despite how awful I feel now, in a sense it is still an accomplishment for me to get to this point.

You all can do it too, and your rewards in sobriety will be much greater than mine have been, if you don't have to deal with benzo withdrawal.
 
chompy said:
after a few days of no drink i went and bought a bottle of whiskey. i woke up today completely hungover and throwing up. i feel like a pos
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I always get that feeling after a few days without drinking that i have earned my using and i drink again. I blew my streak last week and spent the weekend in a blur of drink sleep and misery. I am now three days sober again, and three days hungover. My hangovers feel like they are adding up together and lately i feel less sick and hungover and more like i am tottering on the edge of death. I know that alcohol can kill you over time but 25 is pretty young for that to happen. I get up almost every morning and do an hour and a half of intense exercising, which is probably the only thing keeping me somewhat strong. It's much easier to work out when i am not hungover, but if i am hungover and don't exercise i will feel like complete slug central.

Anyway, three days sober and no real desire to drink at this point. A three day hangover will really make you question your priorities.
 
After being on a 5 day bender, I had to drink again tonight even though it wasn't my intention. Tonight when I drank it didn't feel right at all, it felt neutral and these days I hate because I know it was an opening to stop again for a month or so but instead I am sure the cravings will now resurface.

I am still pondering how I started drinking again, it only started a month ago after taking months off drinking and smoking cigarettes, from november to march I had only drank 4 - 5 times and wasn't fond of it afterwards but then it got a hold of me when I took a week off training, after this week I tried to find motivation to train again and it just wasn't there. I think during my break I wasn't feeling overly happy without the drink, it's like as if during it's absence I was missing it or needed that high of escape once more. After writing up a list of what the booze has done to me in the past month it's putting me off though and so tonight I didn't drink much.

Anyone got any suggestions when it comes to relapsing?
 
Fucking hell ever since ive been off the opiates that i actually need :! all i want to do is drink. So far since ive gotten back home ive only drank twice and both times i got drunk. Weird though i can drink a bottle of gin and still be somewhat sober even though i havent drank at all in months.

When im pissed off and miserable with my life alcohol seems like a good option. Right now im thinking i must have been mad to come back home and a bottle of gin sounds like a way to take my mind off it for abit. The only things that really help the cravings are weed and working out. Sadly i can't work out that much since the pneumonia really did a number on my lungs.
 
^^opiates for alcohol is a rough trade.


As for me, I have been clean ever since Sunday, which is five days. Funny that i have no real urge to drink this time. It might have something to do with the five day hangover i have been suffering through. This is a new hangover record for me, five days later and i still have this swimming toxic feeling in my intestines. I have switched in drinking organic carrot juice at night instead of beer. It is amazing how too beverages can affect your body so differently.
 
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