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Alcoholism Thread V. ti martwonies

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phactor said:
Actually didn't go as crazy in vegas as I thought I would. I swear I am still a bit tired from it a few days later.

Going to really try hard to take it easy this week and weekend
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I had an awesome time in Vegas this time last year. I went with 3 good mates from work and spent four days shit-faced and we did the Vegas thing (Spearmint Rhino, bags of coke, lost track of time due to 24 hour everything).

We stayed at the MGM Grand and myself and a mate who had overdone it for about 3 days spent a full day around the pool with the worst hangover imaginable. Heh! All we could hold down were sips of milk.

They were good times but now that AA is my priority I am kind of in two minds.

One mind tells me I won't ever be able to do that again even though I'd like to, but the other mind says 'well, you've been there and done that and came out the other side'.

Do any other alchies feel this way?
 
n3ophy7e said:
Hi Cface <3
I would imagine it's quite common to transfer one's addictions (I've seen it happen with quite a few people, myself included ;)). You're trading one addiction for another because you've obviously got some underlying issues that bring you to use substances in the first place, that you haven't dealt with. Have you ever spoken to anyone about substance use/abuse, addiction, etc?
Maybe it's time you sought some help with overcoming this.
Feel free to PM me if you want to talk about it okay?
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Meh never have talked to anyone about it, not to bitch, it's just i'm not used to it being a problem... really... compared to the rest of my friends back home i'm a lightweight pussy... but i guess now that i'm here in the "real world" i'm seen as an alcy.

Dave said:
Cface-- Is it perhaps because you don't make as much an effort to hide it? I know that when I drink, I have no problem drinking around family, but when I do other things I avoid them and try as hard as possible to hide it. So when you drink, your DOC is more visible to them than when you're doing other drugs, so they notice it more and feel the need to say something. Just a guess. :)
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Well... to be honest.... i don't make an effort to hide it because my parents never have with me. I smoke grass n drink with my mom and shared xanax with her and she'd give me her vicodin....

My drug of choice is probably Vicodin and Opana :P Booze is just easier to come by these days... but i see what you mean... i just really don't get it, i used to smoke grass every day, pop pills, smoke speed off tin foil, in front of everyone noone would say shit cuz they were all just as bad or close... but now that i'm ONLY drinking beer (maybe bit of grass once a month) they give me shit every day...

I dunno if i made any sense tbh, i'm a tad drunk (surprise surprise).
Thanks for your input guys, i appreciate it.
 
Hope you're doing ok, n3ophy7e. You really do deserve happiness <3

For the past week or so I've been on a somewhat experimental treatment for alcoholism, baclofen, in combination with the naltrexone I've been on for a few months now.

The naltrexone helps by making me almost indifferent to alcohol, while I noticed the baclofen almost made me feel disgusted by the thought of drinking. Unfortunately though I had to lower my dose because it made me so drowsy and it doesn't seem to be working anymore.

Even in combination they are not holding me at the moment though, I have some pretty super alcohol cravings and I've been drinking a lot these past couple of weeks, even though the naltrexone makes it feel sort of shitty.

One improvement though, is that I haven't been drinking by myself.

I have to say though, baclofen <3 I think I'm starting to like this drug a little too much. It makes me feel like I'm nodding out on heroin without the shitty nausea. I'm sticking to my lowered dose though because as fun as it is to nod out on my computer keyboard, it really doesn't help me be productive :\
 
Hey guys.



Hope everyone's staying strong and taking this wretched disease one day at a time.

I relapsed on alcohol the other day. I started taking benzo's first before I got to see a doctor for my Bi-polar II. Then my birthday rolled around and I figured, hey I'm off the booze, lets get an eighth of ketamine and methylone and 2ct-2 and a ten strip. Klonopin, xanax, and valium were present as well. Needless to say I finally had a beautiful birthday tripping with friends who had never had real lucy (hofman tabs), I took around 35mg 2ct2 and was snorting S-Isomer K all night. That was all fine, if I would have stopped there. But I didn't, and when my last valium ran out and I lost my job, I got wasted and when I get wasted I get really prickish. Then serious relationship issues arose, of course, and there was an intervention of sorts. I had no desire to drink the day after and no desire to drink today. I think my Meds are starting to work well, yesterday I spent all day walking around grabbing applications, talking to some shop owners I'm friends with, and such. It was around 8 hours. I also decided to go to my first AA meeting (well, since I got clean) last night and it was neat. I don't have a desire to drink but making friends is always good for depression, excercise as well hence walking around for 8 hours.

Today I woke up for the first time in years and jumped out of bed and felt great. I suggest, to anyone here suffering from alcoholism or w/d, to use gabapentin. I'm prescribed it for anxiety and depression, also take celexa which I think is starting to work. I've been on these meds in the past (not the neurontin just the ssri) and as soon as I came off them I started drinking (lost insurance). I love all you guys and stay strong and PM if you need someone to talk to or feel like having a drink, I'll talk you the fuck out of it :).

Thanks for listening, I know it was a bit long.
Bee

PS - N3o, stay strong sweets, PM me anytime! I don't have MSN yet but I'm working on it, I've been trying to keep myself busy. >3
 
I am a 36 year old alcoholic. About 2 years ago, I went in for a physical and my liver enzymes were very elevated. I got an ultrasound done on my liver and showed that I have liver fibrosis. I then went to a liver specialist and he told me I had a year to live, if I kept drinking. But said what I had could be repaired by the liver.

Well, that didn't even stop me. I kept drinking for a while until I finally went through periods of stopping for 3 months, then drinking for a month, then stopping for a few months etc. Finally, my family checked me into the hospital and then a detox center. When I got out, I went right to AA and was heavily involved with that for a few months, relapsed, then stopped for about 6 months, but began using opiates.

Now, I just moved out of state to the middle of no where and am drinking heavily again. Last night I took out my gun and told my wife to shoot me. I was a mess.

I have decided I am going to stop, but is there anyone out there that can give me a little glimmer of hope? If so, I'd love to hear from you. PM me. I'd love to hear your input and advice. I am in a REAL bad place right now. I have to take 2 klonopins in the morning because I wake up so anxious. I also take medication for depression (Paxil) and high blood pressure.

G-d bless anyone that could help me, even if it seems like it's a small suggestion, believe me, to me it would be a huge help. Thank you!
 
By all means, I should be the anti-alcoholic .. I hate being intoxicated [makes me feel like sh*t for 18 hours, even with 2-3 drinks]; I have many other preferred drugs of choice; I can't technically afford to drink .. I can even rationalize reinstatement of the 18th Amendment (all or nothing is the only logical drug policy).
Yet year after year, alcohol continues to be my anti-drug.

I feel like rekindling the violent temperance movement.
Only cos I've had more than my usual share of Tuesday night brews.
 
Well its been a while since ive had a drink alone. While on probation i use to drink alone nightly but restlessness caught up to me tonight. The funny thing is i miss drinking alone. I usually just smoke weed with friends and pass out but tonight i had 7 beers. It seems like when i drink i think back to old times (not so old since im just 22). I tend to think back to high school my friendships then alot being geared toward my girlfriend for those 4 years. Almost 2 years since it ended but because it was such a big part of the time i think about it surfaces. It seems like alcohol does a good job at making me remember those times i seem to wish i could recreate. I like to think im over my ex i mean when im not drunk alone i am just something about alcohol makes me think those old times were better.

I remember when this use to be a nightly occurence. Memories of those times would flood my mind for those hours before bed. As much as i miss those nights im glad my drinking went from daily to literally monthly. Best of luck to all.
 
Dragon...not sure I can help much, but will point you to Samuel's discussions on the 12 Steps (here in TDS)...as much as I have been anti-AA I like his approach it has made me think.

I'm out of control...not necessarily being drunk all the time but not living like I want to.

I'm just not sure and not proud of myself.
 
I don't get alcohol...I had got a minor consuming alcohol last year and had to go to a stupid out-patient rehab thing for like 3 months, funny thing was I completely stopped weed for those 3 months but got drunk for most of the summer cause alcohol wouldn't be in my system for that long.

In my junior year of high school I got drunk a few times every month at parties and shit. But now I feel guilty when I drink cause my dad is a recovering alcoholic and recently relapsed but is now doing fine so far.

So should I stay clear from the alcohol or limit my self or what?
 
you will have to stay responsible, and watch others, your friends around you, see how they are reacting and if you see any of it in yourself. its wicked the way it crushes your sense of judgment so fast, i guess that makes it easier to drink more, and impair your judgment further, until you think anything is possible!!!.

there is a lot of lean towards alcoholism being hereditary of course, and ive seen it happen in too many families, but it seems most families have alcoholics in them or problem drinkers - admittedly or not.

alcohol is a fucked up drug, once youre drunk, youre drunk, and there aint no denying it. my addiction to it was horrendous - the worst, a shocking nightmare i hardly remember for months - and ive been addicted to a few substances a few times... i get goose bumps thinking about my last run, its sickening.

but i do love and appreciate wine, cognac and have a subscription to wine spectator heheh. i would love to acquire a small fired white french oak barrel or two and start some grafts. some slightly sparkling late harvest cab and shiraz flesh, no skins. but fuck no i wouldnt drink it, its absolute poison to some people, like me, but they think its allll they need, its a selfish selfish drug.
 
^ I would totally taste that brew for you. You know, for quality control purposes. 'Cuz I'm selfless like that.

:)
 
there is a lot of lean towards alcoholism being hereditary of course
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Literally everyone in my blood family (immediate) besides my little sister (who's never so much as touched a cigarette in her life), is a ravenous drunk.
 
I havent had a beer now in what 2 weeks or so? And i poured the last one i was going to have down the sink 8o . I havent done that since i quit for about 5 years or so and only really took it up again last christmas.

The beer looked so good in the fridge but as soon as i opened it and got a smell of it all those awful memories came flooding back. Every shitty thing i had done while drunk and how miserable i felt alot of the time while drunk. So ya pouring that beer out made me feel good :) .
 
I'm sober for 10 days now if you don't count a small slip up last Sunday. I've been going to AA almost daily. I feel so unsure about myself in meetings though that I don't wanna talk. I don't know if I've got a shyness problem/fear of being a tit or if it's just because I'm still a newcomer.

I know most people in the meetings and have given people lifts etc. and can talk fine outside while having a cig (I started smoking again after 9 months).

I think I might have a phobia of talking in a formal situation. Anyone know if such a phobia exists? It's bound to if you can get phobias of silly stuff like spoons and wellington boots.

I've cried twice in the last two days. Both while driving back from a meeting. I feel lost and uncared for. I'm a 33 year old man who's fairly (god I hate to use this expression) fashionable and earns a decent wage and I'm crying and feeling lost. What is wrong with me?

I'll hit 'post' now as I didn't intend to start wallowing in self-pity or looking for sympathy. I'm just hoping that this is due to my alcoholic brain starting to straighten itself out after years of partying and drinking oneself into a stupor.
 
^^Yeah good job Laser. I haven't posted in this thread but have been reading it since the beginning so I know the situation you're in. There is a phobia of public speaking, called glossophobia and I personally know a few people who have a lot of trouble talking in groups, giving speeches etc. In the U.S we have a group called Toastmasters that helps people conquer that fear, im not sure if you guys in the UK have something similar but its worth a look-up.

As for the crying, alcohol dampens/suppresses your emotions and it is common to have rebounded and heightened emotions upon quitting alcohol. I know I did and I was not drinking that heavily in comparison to others. BUT... your emotional state will level out eventually and these mood swings and highly emotional states won't last forever. Hang in there!
 
Ah, thanks for that vonchampz. Now I have a term to look up (glossophobia) to see if I have it, or not.

I had a sober Friday night and I'm feeling good this morning. There's a Saturday morning meeting soon, which is probably my favourite of the week due to being fresh and awake. I'm off for a haircut and a meeting, followed by a wander around town.

Feeling positive today =D
 
Dude, the Wiki page about glossophobia rings true on a few levels for me!

I have used alcohol quite a few times in the past for 'dutch courage' when speaking in front of a group of people. This is one of the 'isms' of my personality which helped me abuse the booze.

I might have to look into a public speaking club. Part of my job involves instructing people confidently.
 
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