dragonslayer428
Bluelighter
Thank you!^ I guess that means I have ONE thing in my life I can be proud of. 
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alcoholism thread [merged]
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glitterbizkit
Bluelighter
Most definitely. I have never cared much about the physical component of hangovers - its the anxiety and depression that ges to me. So much worse if I have done something embarrassing while drunk, then it's anxiety x 100.
I'm in that zone right now
W
whoever1234
Guest
in the alcoholics forum
hey. i have been reading this site a lot recently and just wanted to add a post now for some reason. like most people in this thread, i share that "alcoholic dream" (have been to treatment a couple times, and they say this is a dream all alcoholics share- i don't buy into the whole diatribe, but this seems fairly consistent and accurate) of being able to return to normal drinking after some period of abstinence, tapering, switching to beer, switching locations, etc. i have often convinced myself that i have. i can go months without drinking to the point of blacking out; i am not always "that guy" in social situations; i can go for a while only drinking a few beers a night. however, eventually, i always seem to have some experience that proves i am still alcoholic, which i hate. i despise the idea of not drinking for the rest of my life. i'm not even 30 yet. i don't know what to do as far as socializing, meeting with acquaintances, overcoming daily boredom, sleeping well, feeling normal, or anything else without drinking fairly regularly. i do currently attend a 12-step program, but i hate it, and i really only go to appease other people in my life and maybe the legal system. i recently received my 4th dui charge (no convictions so far- all reduced- i'm pretty lucky i guess), but i don't think i'll be able to avoid the consequences this time, both legally and professionally (some professions have licensing boards and what have you, and i'm already on the radar in my particular profession due to past indiscretions). i guess i have somewhat come to admit that i am powerless over alcohol, which is the first step, but only because of the negative repercussions that keep occurring ever so often in my life. ordinarily, i feel like i am in control over alcohol, but someone once explained powerlessness to me as not necessarily getting out of control every time you drink but more the idea that once you start drinking you don't know for sure that you won't get out of control, even if it only happens every couple of weeks/years/whatever. so, i guess i'm trying to accept that definition of powerlessness. i'm attending meetings that i hate, and BTW, they do make me want to drink, in response to whoever posted that a while back. i'm not that excited about the future, because i still view everything "fun" or "exciting" in life as revolving around, alcohol, which i hope will change with time. i'm not prepared to give up my old acquaintances and surroundings, as all the programs and literature suggest. moreover, i've always sort of been up for doing whatever type of drugs were around, but i never had any sort of daily thing going on. since i stopped drinking, i find myself taking tons of benzos and spending a couple hundred dollars on oc every day, i suppose partially to replace some of what i feel i've lost from refraining from drinking, partially to overcome the extreme boredom, and partially to make myself still act friendly and sociable in social settings. clearly, replacing one addiction with another is not wise, but i am having a hard time hanging it up. i just went to a month-long rehab last summer, which i hated, but i stopped doing everything for a few months afterwards. sure enough, less than a year later, i'm already facing more alcohol-related trouble. i don't know. i'm three weeks "sober" tomorrow, i'm not really very excited about it, i still share the dream of being able to return to normal drinking, and now i do a lot of other drugs every day. anyway, i'm off to an aa meeting, where i will most likely resent everyone, and hopefully afterwards i'll be able to locate some opiates. it's tough accepting that you shouldn't drink anymore because of the negative effects it has had on your life, especially at a relatively young age. thanks for listening.
hey. i have been reading this site a lot recently and just wanted to add a post now for some reason. like most people in this thread, i share that "alcoholic dream" (have been to treatment a couple times, and they say this is a dream all alcoholics share- i don't buy into the whole diatribe, but this seems fairly consistent and accurate) of being able to return to normal drinking after some period of abstinence, tapering, switching to beer, switching locations, etc. i have often convinced myself that i have. i can go months without drinking to the point of blacking out; i am not always "that guy" in social situations; i can go for a while only drinking a few beers a night. however, eventually, i always seem to have some experience that proves i am still alcoholic, which i hate. i despise the idea of not drinking for the rest of my life. i'm not even 30 yet. i don't know what to do as far as socializing, meeting with acquaintances, overcoming daily boredom, sleeping well, feeling normal, or anything else without drinking fairly regularly. i do currently attend a 12-step program, but i hate it, and i really only go to appease other people in my life and maybe the legal system. i recently received my 4th dui charge (no convictions so far- all reduced- i'm pretty lucky i guess), but i don't think i'll be able to avoid the consequences this time, both legally and professionally (some professions have licensing boards and what have you, and i'm already on the radar in my particular profession due to past indiscretions). i guess i have somewhat come to admit that i am powerless over alcohol, which is the first step, but only because of the negative repercussions that keep occurring ever so often in my life. ordinarily, i feel like i am in control over alcohol, but someone once explained powerlessness to me as not necessarily getting out of control every time you drink but more the idea that once you start drinking you don't know for sure that you won't get out of control, even if it only happens every couple of weeks/years/whatever. so, i guess i'm trying to accept that definition of powerlessness. i'm attending meetings that i hate, and BTW, they do make me want to drink, in response to whoever posted that a while back. i'm not that excited about the future, because i still view everything "fun" or "exciting" in life as revolving around, alcohol, which i hope will change with time. i'm not prepared to give up my old acquaintances and surroundings, as all the programs and literature suggest. moreover, i've always sort of been up for doing whatever type of drugs were around, but i never had any sort of daily thing going on. since i stopped drinking, i find myself taking tons of benzos and spending a couple hundred dollars on oc every day, i suppose partially to replace some of what i feel i've lost from refraining from drinking, partially to overcome the extreme boredom, and partially to make myself still act friendly and sociable in social settings. clearly, replacing one addiction with another is not wise, but i am having a hard time hanging it up. i just went to a month-long rehab last summer, which i hated, but i stopped doing everything for a few months afterwards. sure enough, less than a year later, i'm already facing more alcohol-related trouble. i don't know. i'm three weeks "sober" tomorrow, i'm not really very excited about it, i still share the dream of being able to return to normal drinking, and now i do a lot of other drugs every day. anyway, i'm off to an aa meeting, where i will most likely resent everyone, and hopefully afterwards i'll be able to locate some opiates. it's tough accepting that you shouldn't drink anymore because of the negative effects it has had on your life, especially at a relatively young age. thanks for listening.
Ryka
Bluelighter
Whoever...we've been there, are there, you are welcome here.
cosmic charlie
Bluelight Crew
My stomach is so fucked up but I keep drinking. I guess I enjoy punishing myself
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
Has anyone in TDS given any medications for alcoholism a try? I just scanned through another topamax (topiramate) article that makes it look like something worth trying. http://jama.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/full/298/14/1641 Finding physicians interested in treating alcoholism pharmacologically doesn't seem all that easy in a lot of places.
whoever, welcome to the thread. 3 weeks sober is something you should be really proud of, but I definitely know how you feel about not being particularly happy about it.
Please feel free to update us as to how you're going. There's a lot of good advice and support in here
Charlie, try some L-glutamine supplement. It really helps me when I get sore stomach from drinking too much (which happens if I drink every day for more than say, 8 days in a row? Excruciating stomach pain all across my torso!). The glutamine supplement has really helped me, you can probably find it health food/supplement stores.
Of course, it would be most beneficial if you stop drinking for at least 4 days or so, although I know this can be hard. But your body will thank you, and you will feel so much better.
Enki, I've tried naltrexone (if that counts? Not specific to only alcoholism), but it was so easy just to drink through it, without the euphoria.
Please feel free to update us as to how you're going. There's a lot of good advice and support in here
Charlie, try some L-glutamine supplement. It really helps me when I get sore stomach from drinking too much (which happens if I drink every day for more than say, 8 days in a row? Excruciating stomach pain all across my torso!). The glutamine supplement has really helped me, you can probably find it health food/supplement stores.
Of course, it would be most beneficial if you stop drinking for at least 4 days or so, although I know this can be hard. But your body will thank you, and you will feel so much better.
Enki, I've tried naltrexone (if that counts? Not specific to only alcoholism), but it was so easy just to drink through it, without the euphoria.
cosmic charlie
Bluelight Crew
Charlie, try some L-glutamine supplement. It really helps me when I get sore stomach from drinking too much (which happens if I drink every day for more than say, 8 days in a row? Excruciating stomach pain all across my torso!). The glutamine supplement has really helped me.
Of course, it would be most beneficial if you stop drinking for at least 4 days or so, although I know this can be hard. But your body will thank you, and you will feel so much better.
Thank you for the advice I'm gonna give that a try. I just got a new job so I wont be drinking all day anymore. Hopefully the supplements and a break will help me out.
They definitely will help
Good luck with the new job!!
Let us know how you go man
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
Yep that definitely counts, sorry to hear it didn't help much. I think a lot of techniques are hindered for me in that I'm sort of ambivalent about wanting to be completely over alcohol. If it weren't for the fact that alcohol has some pretty enticing short term gains I'm sure I'd have been over it years ago. Easy availability and strong general social acceptability hinder quitting a great deal as well.
I could easily place myself in the position of not seeing any other intoxicant I can think of for a long time. Hard to picture creating even a week without seeing alcohol.
Enki are we the same person?? Your post described my attitude and situation precisely.
This sounds silly but my family would actually be the biggest hinderance to me quitting alcohol for good. Every single occasion we get together is doused by much wine and merriment. To actually explain to them that I am never drinking again would just go down as a silly joke to them.
And then again, if I can control my drinking, why do I need to quit forever anyway??
A bit of a quandry...
RedLeader
Bluelight Crew
Charlie, try some L-glutamine supplement. It really helps me when I get sore stomach from drinking too much (which happens if I drink every day for more than say, 8 days in a row? Excruciating stomach pain all across my torso!). The glutamine supplement has really helped me, you can probably find it health food/supplement stores.
Of course, it would be most beneficial if you stop drinking for at least 4 days or so, although I know this can be hard. But your body will thank you, and you will feel so much better.
I get this exact same thing. It almost feels like pulling a muscle in your back (lower right side), but instead it's just the poison
Piercing pain in the liver area and the pulled muscle feeling in the back. Why do we do this to ourselves...? Ya, I wish this kind of thing was more OTC (like Nicorete for smoking), so I didn't have to worry about being paranoid with my medical records and such. Or else I'd definately give these a go.
Again, just for nostalga......ALCOHOL IS THE DEVIL
Spurs_1882
Bluelighter
I get that sore stomach thing as well nowadays, every time I binge drink. Anyone know what causes it?
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
^There are multiple causes but the biggest one is that alcohol is a solvent and dissolves the mucosa that protects the stomach lining. Without the protective insulation of the mucosa the stomach lining is vulnerable to hydrochloric acid and other irritants.
ETA: Should mention that alcoholic gastritis can progress to having an ulcer which requires medical attention. Vomiting blood or having black, tarry stools is a sign you need to see a Doctor quickly.
ETA: Should mention that alcoholic gastritis can progress to having an ulcer which requires medical attention. Vomiting blood or having black, tarry stools is a sign you need to see a Doctor quickly.
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Someone through my virtually opiateless week (besides codeine and tramadol) ive managed to stay off alcohol. This is a first in a very long while. The last time i ran out i went drink to the liquor store and got a 26oz bottle of vodka.
Alcohol really is the motherfucking devil.
Alcohol really is the motherfucking devil.
Spurs_1882
Bluelighter
I think I'm talking about something else. It's my stomach muscles that ache, not the inside of my stomach. It's as if I'd done 100 sit ups the day before or something. It's definitely no coincidence because it happens whenever I get drunk. Strange.
Mariposa
Bluelight Crew
^That needs to be checked out, IMO - it could be alcohol-related, or not.
I found a resource on how to taper alcohol with alcohol courtesy of the HAMS Network for Harm Reduction. This is a more structured version of what I did, and I have not fully discontinued, partially because I am scared of "kindling" - I may have tapered too fast. I feel lately a very false sense of security of my "progress". I am abstinent from spirits but it's been replaced by the familiar looking-over-my-shoulder anxious (but not paranoid) feeling. It's starting to put a dent in my motivation as well.![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
The mods will probably wrap up this thread as it hits about 1000 posts and will then start a new one. So get in those last thoughts. Mine are that my life is still better and more manageable now that I do not drink spirits and do not drink to excess, and that hopefully the rest is just... overanalysis.
I found a resource on how to taper alcohol with alcohol courtesy of the HAMS Network for Harm Reduction. This is a more structured version of what I did, and I have not fully discontinued, partially because I am scared of "kindling" - I may have tapered too fast. I feel lately a very false sense of security of my "progress". I am abstinent from spirits but it's been replaced by the familiar looking-over-my-shoulder anxious (but not paranoid) feeling. It's starting to put a dent in my motivation as well.
The mods will probably wrap up this thread as it hits about 1000 posts and will then start a new one. So get in those last thoughts. Mine are that my life is still better and more manageable now that I do not drink spirits and do not drink to excess, and that hopefully the rest is just... overanalysis.
I get the same thing man. All across my torso, e.g. diaphragm. It's directly related to when I binge-drink but I don't know what causes it?
P.S. Hi
*hugs**edit* Oooh sorry that was a pitiful post for the end of the thread :D
I think we have all summed it up quite eloquently on this page though, alcohol truly is EVIL and I hope we can all overcome this beast in our own ways.
To anyone who binge-drinks, listen to your body. If it's telling you to take a break, do it.
Good luck everyone, and much love
panic in paradise
Bluelighter
"I think I'm talking about something else. It's my stomach muscles that ache, not the inside of my stomach. It's as if I'd done 100 sit ups the day before or something. It's definitely no coincidence because it happens whenever I get drunk. Strange. "
also, acute pancreatitis can cause such pain, or the feeling of a massive ulcer.
also, acute pancreatitis can cause such pain, or the feeling of a massive ulcer.
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