alcoholism thread [merged]

[Hemuli]

I was also very big drinker few years ago. Worst was always when i went to asia for many months. few years ago i drank every day for 3 months and got blood puking and every other shitty things after that. Nowdays its mostly opiates, at home(country) i drink very rarely now. But now i had one month binge, drunk everyday and offcourse i was at asia. Been clean from alcohol 6 days now and the wds are going away now. Please people be extra careful with this poison!

 

[Spurs_1882]

*hugs*
Check your PMs

In reply to your question though, I'm doing okay man, I'm doing okay.
I don't drink through the week (although a few weeks ago I slipped up and went back to drinking every day again, it's just SO MUCH EASIER THAT WAY!) but I haven't had anything to drink on a weeknight for the last couple of weeks....if that makes sense.

The weekends are a constant battle though. As soon as Friday afternoon comes around, IT'S ON. It's bloody hopeless. I still drink myself stupid all weekend, gain back the 2-3kg I lost through the week from exercising and being healthy, and then feel totally shitty about myself Monday and Tuesday 8)

Good ol' vicious cycle.

Thanks for your PM! I'm a little bit better today, I've still got that horrible depressed feeling and of course good old anxiety though. Worst is the feeling of shame and uselessness. You should be proud of how you've been doing, it's a big positive step to cut down to weekends.

 

[phactor]

ehh doing okay. Had a big medical scare last week (not related to drinking) so I haven't been able to go to the gym. I need to get back on that.

 

[TheEverlastingNod]

Advice needed

Ok, so as a disclaimer I'd like to say that my question is NOT whether or not I'm an alcoholic or if I should lay off the booze. I've already decided that it has become problematic and am tapering off of it while also looking for a quicker, more reliable method.

About 4 months ago I started having bad insomnia, and decided to remedy it with liqueur. What started as 2-3 shots before bed quickly became a half gallon of vodka every 3-5 days. So my first question is, if I were to just man up and go cold turkey, how bad would the DT's be? I've read that a lot of people in here survived much worse than that, but I went cold off of a nasty dope habit years back, and don't intend on repeating the experience, especially with alcohol. Also, any suggestions on good street drugs to alleviate possible symptoms? I'm not at liberty to get anything prescribed by a doctor, or smoke weed, though.

Another thing that seriously concerns me is that although I usually don't drink before 9 at night, and I've gone 48 hours without a drink and didn't feel much worse[actually, I might've even felt better] I've begun to generally feel like shit ALL the time, whether hungover, sober, or while drinking. My body aches, stomach's constantly upset, no energy, and once again I'm unable to get to sleep at night, and all of this seems to be regardless of how much or how little I consume. Are these just normal effects of alcohol abuse, or should I be considering other conditions? I've also been developing a sort anxiety/restlessness that counter-intuitively seems to be increased by alcohol [i.e., I get jittery and twitchy WHEN drinking, though not at all when sober, and the sedating effect seems almost non-existent anymore].

So uhm, I probably have a hundred more Q.'s, but those are the basics. My apologies for writing so much, but out of all the drugs I've done, alcohol I'm the least experienced with[I didn't even start 'til I was 21... heroin's easier to get when you're in philly>]. Thanks for any and all input and suggestions, and hopefully I'll get this new monkey off my back before it turns into a true demon.

 

[paranoid android]

Alcohol has fucked me over in so many ways it's not even funny anymore. It has almost cost me my freedom any number of times as well as my life, my health, friends and i missed alot of oportunities because of it. Ive never really run into peoblems with any drug or gotten in trouble due to them but alcohol is way different.

Ive used a hell of alot of addictive drugs and am currently on opiates for pain and addicted to them too but other then running out of them they cause me no problems. Im also on clonazepam and have been for 3 years and am dependant on that but i never run out and hardly abuse it ever. But alcohol is the devil to me and i crave it far worse then any other drug.

Ive been sober almost a month now and im not missing alcohol yet. So hopefully i can stay on the wagon because if i don't it will be the death of me some day.

So my first question is, if I were to just man up and go cold turkey, how bad would the DT's be? I've read that a lot of people in here survived much worse than that, but I went cold off of a nasty dope habit years back, and don't intend on repeating the experience, especially with alcohol. Also, any suggestions on good street drugs to alleviate possible symptoms? I'm not at liberty to get anything prescribed by a doctor, or smoke weed, though.

Get a long acting benzo like valium preferably don't go cold turkey off alcohol. Trust me alcohol withdrawal and the DT's make dopesickness look like a wet dream. You really should see a doctor though and get checked out. Chances are you will get valium, librium or maybe ativan or even phenobarbital. I used valium to get off alcohol and it made it alot easier. I also took temazepam to help me sleep and that worked wonders.

Do not under any circumstances take any stimulants coming off alcohol. Or any other drugs that lower the seizure threshold like certain opioids and soma.

Good luck man i hope ya get off the stuff.

 

[panic in paradise]

first off consuming alcohol all through out the day, as with any drug, will create a greater tolerance and dependency IME. are there any street drugs to help with w/d symptoms? yeah, but they are just as addictive, so why fuck with that. benzos or another anticonvulsant could be useful, but benzo w/d is just as bad as alcohol, you should talk to a doc, especially if you have one you see regularly.

i would imagine you are going to have some shaky sweaty nights, but if you have been through H w/d i bet it will be mildly similar for 3-4 days, the 3rd and 4th fairly tolerable, nothing too bad id hope. is there anyone around who can hold a bottle for you and give you a shot now and then to ween a couple days, or to be there just incase you get the DT's and are unable to drive?

the physical part of the w/d can be horridness/lethal, but the mental craving "need" is powerful, id say ween yourself but, its easy to let your mind manipulate you for a drink++ if you have a bottle sitting around.

after several months of 30-40 drinks a day all day everyday, it took a bit of minor tapering, then the cold shock of 2 bottles of red and 2 beers 1 day, then 2 bottles of wine from the morning to bed time for 3 days, then 1.5 bottles of red for 2 days, then a bottle 1 day, then half a bottle, that sat until later the next night and i had a big glass, then after 2 more nights i had the last glass.

i love wine, and would love to work at a winery and study viticulture&enology further, and i have an appreciation for cognac, ales, and other alcohols. i know i cant drink it though, and whats more important is that i dont want to.

there might be some information in the TDS tonics thread for relief of symptoms, id suggest velerian(natural benzo), meletonin, blueberries or blueberry juice, green tea, maybe cranberry juice in carbonated mineral water to help you detox some, dark chocolate is really good antioxidant as well, kumbocha tea, spiceyXX asian food like really hot and sour soup to help you sweat it out... oh and patience.

 

[paranoid android]

^^^ I could never ween off alcohol with alcohol it was a all or nothing thing with me. I didnt get hooked on benzos after coming off alcohol but it's easy enough to happen since alcohol withdrawals cause intense anxiety.

The alcohol withdrawals for me lasted maybe a week or that was the acute part anyway but the PAWS lasted for almost a year after and may have had a permanent effect on making my anxiety worse then it already was. That was a large part of the reason i started drinking as much and as often as i could to self medicate anxiety as well as the godawful mood swings i get.

Now i take clonazepam everyday for anxiety and although that may not be the best choice it hasent been a problem for me at all. I started taking it a few years after i quit alcohol because it got to the point where my anxiety was intolerable. It also helps my bipolar so being dependant on clonazepam is a small price to pay for the benefits i get from the drug. Atleast for me but there are plenty of benzo horror stories as well.

And yes seing a doctor is really the best idea. I got abunch of blood work done after quitting because alcohol fucks with every organ in your body and is really bad on your liver. It also deplets your body of b vitamines which can cause nerve damage as well as other problems. So it's best to get checked for that. Somehow i didnt get any liver damage even though i drank through out the day.

 

[panic in paradise]

oh i had klonopin.

taking it helped for sure, but as the kpins would take affect i would start craving, or burning for rather, another drink.

the antiseizure properties im sure helped save my ass though.

 

[burn out]

Sadly it seems once you're getting withdrawals there's no turning back, most people make a choice between all out alcoholism and abstinence, both of which are hard, fucked up ways of living.

I wanted to respond to this because I think the idea that abstinence from alcohol constitutes a "hard, fucked up way of living" is a major factor in what makes alcoholics afraid to quit drinking, or to relapse, because they believe they are depriving themselves of something very valuable by not drinking. In reality, I don't think this is the case at all. It's arguable that alcohol in any dose actually significantly improves one's overall quality of life. It more generally does the very opposite in fact.

 

[Spurs_1882]

I wanted to respond to this because I think the idea that abstinence from alcohol constitutes a "hard, fucked up way of living" is a major factor in what makes alcoholics afraid to quit drinking, or to relapse, because they believe they are depriving themselves of something very valuable by not drinking. In reality, I don't think this is the case at all. It's arguable that alcohol in any dose actually significantly improves one's overall quality of life. It more generally does the very opposite in fact.

Depends on the individual. Drinking definitely improved my quality of life for a long period of time. It gave me something to look forward to, made me more sociable, made me less anxious, and the euphoria it gave me felt meaningful somehow. All of this for very little cost at first...nowadays of course things are completely different (withdrawals, blackouts, inability to control my drinking, and increased anxiety levels whenever I'm not drinking).Despite all the harm alcohol has caused me I don't regret the fact that I started drinking, or even that I drank heavily.

Yet you do have a point. Now, when alcohol is causing more harm than good, I still have that feeling that I am depriving myself of something very valuable by not drinking (I am on one of my frequent breaks from alcohol at the moment). I think partly that is simply irrational craving, and partly I just wish it could be like the old days when drinking was purely positive and caused me little or no problems. When you've had it so good, it's hard to accept that life has moved on and you must adjust to a new, far harsher reality. That's true of all walks of life.

 

[burn out]

Yeah, I know what you mean.

 

[SilverFeniks]

Been clean, but not sober for weeks .. Getting clean has vastly improved my performance on the job, but just got told due to budget cuts I'm being demoted + salary reduced [again].
Guess I'd better find a way to quit drinking ...
But getting clean has made life boring enough. I gave up my entire life when I was sure the drug life was all I needed .. Now I feel like I'm at the station, but I already missed the last train .. Nothing to do but jump on the rail, or wander the streets like a soulless zombie, dead to the world.

 

[AfterGlow]

I'm glad I stopped drinking. I feel physically and mentally better than I have in many years. And although I didn't think drinking was affecting my work performance at the time, I can now reflect back and I realize that my ability to concentrate and think was most definitely impaired most of the time. Enjoying social drinking is one thing, but being an alcoholic is a terrible way to live.

 

[Hemuli]

I'm glad I stopped drinking. I feel physically and mentally better than I have in many years. And although I didn't think drinking was affecting my work performance at the time, I can now reflect back and I realize that my ability to concentrate and think was most definitely impaired most of the time. Enjoying social drinking is one thing, but being an alcoholic is a terrible way to live.

Yeh, i know what you are talking about. Gives me the creeps when i think my worst drinking days. Wake up like 12pm and start drinking on hellish hangover and passout before evening and wake up again on the night and drink again...Thats really no way to live. I have also been lucky not to get any permanent damage to my body and never had any seizures on wds because i never used benzos or anything when i quitted.

 

[usdathashield]

i used to be addicted to crack. had never tried alcohol before, got drunk off 5 beers (lol now id kill to be drunk off 4 beers would save so much $) and the next day woke up hungover saying wtf?

this is the worst drug, its not even fun like E. and the hangovers are AWFUL!! im never doing this crappy drug ever again.

lol detox 10 times later and now i wont touch any drug including weed i only drink. weird how it switched
anything like this happen to anyone else?

 

[paranoid android]

I used to prefer alcohol over opiates and i only ever really did crack when i was drunk. Even that was rare and i just used crack to add a nice buzz to the booze. I loved the oblivion that alcohol gave me.

Ive been sober now for well a good amount of time lol. I don't count the days because i find that makes you think about alcohol even more. But i havent had so much as a beer since i quit.

 

[usdathashield]

congrats PA, glad to hear your doing well.

hehe does anyone else have AWFUL nightmares on alcohol too, espeically on withdrawls. fucking hell, like the devils dreams!

 

[michael]

no, i don't dream at all, and i think that's one of the reasons i started drinking.

 

[dragonslayer428]

I am a recovering alcoholic. I have suffered from anxiety for most of my life and alcohol (let's face it) is the best medicine for anxiety. However, does anyone else notice that in the morning, when the alcohol wears off, your anxiety is WAY worse than it would be if you wouldn't have drank that night before? It's like, while drinking, all my anxiety goes away, but then when I wake up, I am a nervous wreck.

I'm proud to say that I haven't had a drink in about 4 months, unfortunately, I've found myself enjoying opiates instead. It's really no better, trading an addiction for an addiction. However, I must say, physically, I feel much better without alcohol.

At one time I had high liver enzymes and now that I quit drinking, well, every time I quit drinking (which i've quit a few times over the past few years than relapsed) my liver enzymes have always been normal, except for that one time, when I was drinking heavily.

I truly believe that alcohol is the most poisonous of all drugs, yet it's legal. Go figure. The hard part about staying sober is that it's not like you have to go to the bowels of your city or town to get liquor or beer, like some people have to do with drugs. It's readily available anywhere!

Sorry for rambling...anyone want to talk, PM me.

Thanks for listening!

 

[n3ophy7e]

However, does anyone else notice that in the morning, when the alcohol wears off, your anxiety is WAY worse than it would be if you wouldn't have drank that night before? It's like, while drinking, all my anxiety goes away, but then when I wake up, I am a nervous wreck.

Yes I most certainly have noticed that too. Except for me, replace the word anxiety with depression. As time goes on, this just gets worse and worse.

I agree with you dragonslayer, alcohol is one of the most poisonous drugs there is, and for it to be completely legal and so easily accessible just does not make sense!! This fact is something I have battled with for a long time 8)

That is so awesome that you haven't had a drink in 4 months!! That is truly something to be proud of, keep up the good work man