Alcoholism discussion thread v. 5.0

[DexterMeth]

You see this though. That is a start. The blinders are off. Most people take a lifetime to admit they have a problem.

 

[S.M.F.G]

DexterMeth... Ive always known the potentiation properties of the grapefruit juice with tha benzos(been on tha fuckin things for a good few years now)... maybe its just substituted booze as its not a common practice for me to use it.Its only been in the last few days that ive been back on it.
Thats a bit of a headfuck. but @ least im chilled atm and have fought another day.

 

[DexterMeth]

I liken benzos to freeze-dried alcohol. I can not touch them anymore. If I have a bag or bottle of them, they are gone in no time and I have zero recolection of anything I did for those days, weeks, etc. ..Usually winding up bloody/no good.

 

[SubDude]

Why sure there's genetic and evironmental factors.. but both of these do not force a person to drink. A person chooses to drink (medication, healthy living + futher and alternative research apply here). The same goes with applying oneself to any circumstance in life.

You should explain to your kids your family's genetic tendencies towards alcoholism if you haven't already. If I was in your shoes, I would be more worried about them not knowing this, than them rebelling against your advice.

Kids can spot out their parent's bs a mile away as they age, so I would stay away from the whole "You shouldn't drink because I don't want you to" approach.

I absolutely told them of the history of drinking in our family when they were in early teens but at that time [for some of them] I wasn't drinking so doubt it made any sense to them at that time.

I was on MMT for the long period then and when my ex-wife told them... they had no idea even though it have been nearly 20 yrs. I agree kids know what's going on with alcohol when parent thinks they're fooling them. I could always tell whether my dad had been drinking [even a small amount] as soon as he came in the house and I saw his facial expression. I think the main thing that has influenced my kids to moderation [so far] is the fact the tendency and they remember their cousin getting killed from drinking and driving.... and of course my siblings and mom and dad told them the same about their aunt... which sadly none of them ever met.

 

[DexterMeth]

Ya, I'm the human stop-sign in my family. I don't have to tell them what not to do, I just tell them what to do and then lead by example.

 

[Beat Narrative]

another hot sunday in melbourne which would normally mean a a day of drinking cold beer all day

not today, i always use weather and the day of the week as justicfications

studying and of bit of weed but i am not gonna drink

this post is being made at 11.27am, i will be amazed if its been adhered to at 3.30pm. but by writing this i have officiallly set a goal

 

[Mr. Tambourine Man]

Hello, all. Been lurking for a long time, felt I needed to post. I'm definitely on the road to becoming an alcoholic, if not already one, and I'm making a serious effort to cut back. Alcohol has become my go-to substance in the absence of others, and having run out of my preferred DOC's I'm back on the booze.

I've been drinking daily for a week, the past jag was about three weeks. My tolerance has gotten obscene in this time, over the past week I drank nearly two handles of vodka. Now it's another week, and after two days, already half the new handle is gone. Today I made a serious effort not to drink, but caved in around 7 PM. My GF has expressed concern over my concern over my consumption, I've told her that I'm trying to drink less, which is true.

I fear what this degree of consumption is doing to my body. I'm taking milk thistle and B12 supplements, but this is only mitigating the damage. My nightly consumption has been around 12 ounces of vodka per evening, and every day I wake up less well rested. Yesterday, I relapsed into drinking during the day again, something I don't normally do. I'm going to make a serious effort tomorrow and try to stay off it for the day, and then see how I'm doing. I've put off posting in this thread for too long, hoping for some support and encouragement. I don't want alcohol to take over my life, I'm 21 and drugs have already caused me enough problems.

Thank you all for being here.

 

[tranceponder]

Please Mr. Tambourine Man, quit while you can! You can totally do it. And you KNOW you can. I just see you're in the place I was 3 years ago. You've got time to get out. I wish I could have told that to my past self

 

[S.M.F.G]

I dont know if im gonna make it today... Envoronmentals have changed everythings outta whack. im miserable, hurt, feeling abandoned and slipping into hopelessness again
I have an agenda already also which is the fucking scarryiest part.

 

[RedLeader]

I'll try and put it rationally to ya. If you drink today, you'll feel good for a day, but set yourself back 10 days or wherever you are. You'll have to go through those first 9 days all over again. Or you start drinking daily again. Either way, you're trading 1 good day away for a serious of worse ones. Trust me, you do not want to experience the hangover you'll get tomorrow morning if it's your first night drinking in a while. We tend to normalize the hangovers when we're drinking everyday, but in your position you'll have a bad one tomorrow, which will make you want to drink it away, making the 1-day relapse unrealistic.

You're tougher than this. You might not feel like it right now, but going ten days without your favourite sin is a FANTASTIC accomplishment. You're an inspiration to others in this thread. You, blahman, n3o...you guys are the role models in here right now. You might think that someone like me, now in the 100s, is stronger, but not really. I'm on cruise-control, but you're still in combat. You guys are the heroes right now. If I get cravings, I don't think about people with a year+ of sobriety, but instead about those getting through the day-by-day stage like you. Did people look up to you when you were drinking the pain away? You probably drank because you felt like you lacked things like people looking up to you. Think about it!

You're strong, but you're not the only one. Jack Daniels and Johnny Walker are doing pushups in the parking lot of the bottle shop and they are ready for you. They're pissed off that you haven't been loyal lately and they want to put you in your place. Sure, it's a silly story, but you gotta go with it. You gotta be stronger than all that, whether you think of them as incarnates of the devil or just chemicals that are really, really good.

 

[blahman8000]

Thanks for the kind words, RedLeader, and I agree with what you said to SMFG. It's not worth undoing all that effort just to escape for one day/night.

Had a rough day today. 10th day of sobriety but the cravings are starting to really set in. I went to my first AA meeting last night, and oddly enough, it only made me think more about alcohol than I had before. I've been very anxious and stressed out because I can't seem to get some alone time to wind down. I was really trying to fight off cravings when I was sitting here in my bedroom alone, so I decided to just lay down and take a nap. I woke up not too long ago. Liquor stores just closed a few minutes ago. That's both scary and relieving.

One day at a time.

 

[DexterMeth]

The meetings get a lot easier to go to and start to be the best part of your day. Just keep going. If you can't connect with anyone there after a while, find another place, but don't stop going to meetings period. You're doing good.

 

[S.M.F.G]

Im ashamed and sorry to all those who had faith in me, ive fucked up. All i can do is try again
In a really bad spot right now, Cant do AA/NA as the dogma angers me and i hate groups, im gonna lose my kid @ the end of the year and my girlfriend just walked out on me. Iv'e got nothing left then and am scared of that... All because off either lack of self controll, Or some force out there meaning me nothing but harm and hurt. Confused and alone, gotta pul shit together by 3 or il never forgive myself for having my kid come home to me the way i am right now. Im so regretfull for today and hope i havnt done more dammage (no food, belly full of pharms and booze, weed to boot). I really scared.

 

[RedLeader]

^ How much did you have, and of what?

And it's okay. We're still here for ya. We might not like the relapse, but we still you (the relapse isn't you)!

 

[DexterMeth]

I might get flamed for this, but you should induce vomittomh when you still can. Drink lots of water as well, as this will help clear everything out of your system faster.

 

[n3ophy7e]

SMFG, you didn't "fuck up", you had a minor slip-up which is 100% normal and even expected of people who are trying to get sober. Are you concerned about how much you actually had to drink?? As in, are you concerned about your safety?
Please try to not beat yourself up about this, as it will only make you feel worse, which will possibly result in you giving in to drinking again. You've got to celebrate the small triumphs you make each day, and accept that these little mishaps are going to happen, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep going

I've been very anxious and stressed out because I can't seem to get some alone time to wind down. I was really trying to fight off cravings when I was sitting here in my bedroom alone, so I decided to just lay down and take a nap.

Well firstly, I am also very glad that the bottle shop had already closed (even though I can imagine your dispair upon realising that fact ). Now, I'm concerned that you sat alone in your room trying to fight off the cravings, because that is like the unbeatable fight. Sure you won this time, and that is fantastic But what about the next time, and the next time, and the next? Those cravings battles don't get any easier mate, they just get exhausting. BUT you can make it easier by making sure you have some kind of activity available as your go-to distraction plan, whenever you have a craving. Also, for cravings and anxiety (and, really, any negative kind of thought pattern), I am finding Mindfulness Meditation extremely useful. Google "mindfulness" and have a read about it (if you haven't already) and try to have some quiet time practising it each day.
blahman you are doing SO well mate, I am so proud of you


Redleader thank you for your awesome comments on the previous page

And DexterMeth thank you for your amazingly supportive PMs, I am a little short of time today (at work) but I will try to get online tonight or tomorrow morning to reply. Thanks mate

 

[S.M.F.G]

^ How much did you have, and of what?

And it's okay. We're still here for ya. We might not like the relapse, but we still you (the relapse isn't you)!

Tried so hard to take on tha advic here, ended up @ the pub by 10:30 AM with Grapefruit juice n two xanax briks down the hatch and a few cones, 4 schooners of mid strength due to the wins on the pokies ( was only gonna have one) Home now with a session in me and finishing off a longneck 750ml fullstrength beer. Just wanna take a xanax and go to sleep but cant my kids due home in one hour... Fucked shit up agin

I might get flamed for this, but you should induce vomittomh when you still can. Drink lots of water as well, as this will help clear everything out of your system faster.

This sounds logical Dex although im afraid of my diet being so shocking it will be of deriment to me, not like im in the shit already..... I'd like to hear someone knoweledgable (dont take this wrong Dex) 2nd oppinion on this b4 i go shoving my fingers down my throat although i clearly see the lodgic in this.

Am appreacitave of the time u folks take on a deadbeat like me

 

[n3ophy7e]

To be honest if you've been drinking since 10:30am (for Northern Hemispherians, it's now 3:30pm), throwing up whatever is in your stomach now is probably gonna be futile, as you're probably already pretty drunk. SMFG, can you just tip the rest of your longneck down the drain?? Also, is your daughter going to be alone with you, or is someone else gonna be there with you guys?

 

[blahman8000]

Well firstly, I am also very glad that the bottle shop had already closed (even though I can imagine your dispair upon realising that fact ). Now, I'm concerned that you sat alone in your room trying to fight off the cravings, because that is like the unbeatable fight. Sure you won this time, and that is fantastic But what about the next time, and the next time, and the next? Those cravings battles don't get any easier mate, they just get exhausting. BUT you can make it easier by making sure you have some kind of activity available as your go-to distraction plan, whenever you have a craving. Also, for cravings and anxiety (and, really, any negative kind of thought pattern), I am finding Mindfulness Meditation extremely useful. Google "mindfulness" and have a read about it (if you haven't already) and try to have some quiet time practising it each day.
blahman you are doing SO well mate, I am so proud of you

Thanks, n3o. You've been very supportive through all of this and I appreciate it. I need all the support I can get. You're right, sitting alone in my room isn't exactly the best way to keep my mind off booze. But at the same time, it's my only refuge to get some alone time and wind down. I need to devote a certain portion of my day to simply being by myself or else I start to get very anxious. I've been dealing with a lot of that lately. I read a few more chapters of the AA Big Book today, and I'm trying to wrap my head around it. Still can't quite engage with the "higher power" thing.

I'll definitely check out Mindfulness Meditation. I've tried meditation before, although I never really quite stuck with it. I'm thinking of adding some exercise to my routine, as well. Maybe every other day or so.

I hope you and everyone else are doing well. SMFG, do not give up. Don't let one slip-up get in the way of your pursuit for recovery. Get back up and try again. For a lot of us, a quick relapse is par for the course.

 

[S.M.F.G]

^^ n3o, Im in a unit complex but dont trust anyone around me infact i feel quite boxed in as opposed to the house that i was formerly in, so yer its just gonna be me and her.... Theres no way in the world id do anything to harm myself or her whilst shes about. Longnecks long gone, im stooped over this gross excuse of a sandwick i made, the pukeing may just happen anyway, if worst comes to sorst therse one chick i can call that will maybe help out with my lil un, Although its been a while and i dont wanna bother her. Im gonna be about here for the time being... I feel safer to be here with someone here than offline by myself right now.